Stuck for 3 years on a high dose of Ativan

[[Li...]]

At this point I am just suffering everyday. I was initially diagnosed bipolar and have anxiety(panic attacks). The longer I take Ativan the stranger and more horrifying symptoms emerge. I cannot be in the light, sounds are so loud, silence is deafening, cannot go to family functions or even to the store. Feel like I can't breathe at times or swallow. Can barely communicate. I don't understand anything; extremely dissociated and it's only getting worse. Everything my Dr tried My body rejects even vitamins. Every time I try to go down on it I'm bordering on psychotic. Any success? I feel like I'm in a bad trip if that makes sense.

[[Ch...]]

Welcome to BenzoBuddies, LinnyLou.

 

I'm going to guess you haven't increased the Ativan in awhile.  It sounds like you've become tolerant to the drug and are no longer getting therapeutic benefit from it.  It also sounds like you may be having withdrawal symptoms even while you're still on the drug.  This is just a guess based on your introduction.

 

Here are some links to begin posting for support from the wider membership:

 

General Taper Plans 

Withdrawal Support 

 

I think it's important that you take a look at The Ashton Manual, which is an authoritative source on what to expect during withdrawal and recovery, authored by Dr. C. Heather Ashton, who is an expert in the field. It provides a great deal of information that can be very reassuring during any stage of this process, including a list of common symptoms with helpful explanations on the reasons for their existence.

 

Please take some time to Create a Signature. This will help other members understand your history so they will be better able to support you.

Go to the top of the page and select Profile, then choose Forum Profile, insert drug history/timelines into the text box and click Change Profile.

 

 

Challis 

[[Li...]]

I believe you are right. It's definitely a tolerance thing and when I use to take a bit more it didn't make me feel better. The Ativan is turning on me.  I will look at the material again. I have already tried switching to Valium and that was a nightmare. I also tried switching to Klonopin and that was hell as well. I was at 6mg and now I am down to 4.5. Very high dose. Nothing seems to be an equal in regards to a longer acting benzo. I just want off! Thank you again. Glad to be here.

[[Ch...]]

If you've gone from 6mg to 4.5 that might explain how you feel, too.  Withdrawal symptoms, whether from tolerance to the drug or from lowering the dose, are the same.  Once a taper starts, it commonly happens that the Ativan doesn't help anymore.

[[Li...]]

Very true. I wanted to continue the taper but became very unstable like hallucinating,etc. way too much to handle so I had to stop tapering. I wish I didn't stop but being alone and doing this is horrible. I couldn't breathe, etc. I want to start again but am very unstable. On the verge of psychosis. Thanks for the insight. The drug is making me worse now. I feel stuck.

[[De...]]

I am in a similar situation. I have all the symptoms you mentioned and am stuck on 3 mg lorazepam. I am deciding whether to taper or not. It's an overwhelming state to be in. I wish I could be of more help. Just know that you're not alone.

 

Perhaps it is a paradoxical reaction sort of thing, rather than tolerance?

[[Li...]]

I think it's also a paradoxical reaction. I believe it to be a complicated state of tolerance, paradoxical reaction as well as the drug itself doing damage. I wish I could help you as well. You helped me just by responding  :)If I were you I would taper very slowly. I am going to try to stabilize a bit and then start tapering too. I'm scared. I don't want to lose any more of my life like this. Thank you. It's nice to know I'm not alone in having these unsettling and horrific symptoms both mentally and physically. I feel like I'm in another reality. Severe dissociation.

[[Ch...]]

Linny, I know you just joined, but let me tell you something about this community.  We will be here for you through the withdrawal and recovery process.  You aren't alone now.

 

This forum is here to support you, that's our purpose.  Everyone here is either going through what you're going through or have been through it and are still here to let you know you'll be okay, too.  And we get how bad this feels right now and how scared you are.

 

We may be a virtual community, but we are real and we're here for you.

 

Challis

[[Ch...]]

Boy, that was wordy.  Hope you can wade through it.

 

[[Li...]]

Thanks Challis. I will definitely be on here for sure. It makes a huge difference knowing I'm not alone. I know that there are others going through similar situations but when you are struggling like this it's easy to lose sight of that.  Glad to be on here. Thank you.

[[De...]]

I think it's also a paradoxical reaction. I believe it to be a complicated state of tolerance, paradoxical reaction as well as the drug itself doing damage. I wish I could help you as well. You helped me just by responding  :)If I were you I would taper very slowly. I am going to try to stabilize a bit and then start tapering too. I'm scared. I don't want to lose any more of my life like this. Thank you. It's nice to know I'm not alone in having these unsettling and horrific symptoms both mentally and physically. I feel like I'm in another reality. Severe dissociation.

 

I'm glad I could be of some help. It seems we have a lot in common. We should support each other through this process! Lord knows I need all the support I can get.

 

The dissociation and light/sound sensitivity have to be the worst symptoms. I feel like an alien. Well I guess the overall brain fog is tough too. Anyway I hope to begin my taper soon but I am concerned of pushing myself before stabilizing properly. It seems to be a judgement call.

 

I wish you the best.