9 to 12 month group How are you doing?

[[He...]]

It has been a little over 9 months since my last Benzo and Zoloft and wanted to update everyone!

Firstly, it has been a journey. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought at 50 my life would be sooo dismantled by one little pill. In the beginning I had terrible eye spasms, extreme anxiety, depression, severe headaches, neck pain/ stiffness, all over muscle spasms and I'm sure some symptoms I've missed. Secondly, as of today, I'm working 24 to 30 hours a week, Had to travel twice for my job and went to Mexico for my daughters birthday. And let me tell you, my symptoms were still there. I forced myself to go even though I was afraid. So happy that I went. As of today I still have anxiety, dizziness, headaches, muscle spasms, and some intrusive thoughts but, not nearly as severe as the I was in the beginning! Lastly, even though I was terrified to take the trips and go back to work and even drive, I prayed and did deep breathing all along the way! I'm not 💯 but I know it's coming! It's it's coming for each and every one of us!! God Bless! 😘

[[Kr...]]

Ha!!  I'm almost 8 months and had a read to see what was coming next.  Sounding good Heaven - well done!!!  I'm managing 15-20 hours a week, but only because it's afternoon shift (a wave, with insomnia,  will knock out my mornings).   

[[Pl...]]

It has been a little over 9 months since my last Benzo and Zoloft and wanted to update everyone!

Firstly, it has been a journey. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought at 50 my life would be sooo dismantled by one little pill. In the beginning I had terrible eye spasms, extreme anxiety, depression, severe headaches, neck pain/ stiffness, all over muscle spasms and I'm sure some symptoms I've missed. Secondly, as of today, I'm working 24 to 30 hours a week, Had to travel twice for my job and went to Mexico for my daughters birthday. And let me tell you, my symptoms were still there. I forced myself to go even though I was afraid. So happy that I went. As of today I still have anxiety, dizziness, headaches, muscle spasms, and some intrusive thoughts but, not nearly as severe as the I was in the beginning! Lastly, even though I was terrified to take the trips and go back to work and even drive, I prayed and did deep breathing all along the way! I'm not 💯 but I know it's coming! It's it's coming for each and every one of us!! God Bless! 😘

Heaven... May I ask you what your eye spasms were like? Did your eyes squeeze and close involuntarily, how often?

 

Thanks for reading...

[[He...]]

Hello Pleasebehere!! I would have the eye spasms everyday for a couple of weeks then a window for a couple of weeks. They still come and go but not as severe. Even though I've read that some spasms are soooo intense it causes eye closure. Mine hasn't . happened but, they're really annoying. Feels like a vibration over my left eye mostly.

[[Pl...]]

Hello Pleasebehere!! I would have the eye spasms everyday for a couple of weeks then a window for a couple of weeks. They still come and go but not as severe. Even though I've read that some spasms are soooo intense it causes eye closure. Mine hasn't . happened but, they're really annoying. Feels like a vibration over my left eye mostly.

Heaven thank you for responding.... Yes mine squeeze shut involuntarily constantly  and jerk muscles tugging and pulling and eyes ticking ..... Really severe... its like a severe form of blepharospasm that I'm afraid could be permanent... I got socked hard :'(

[[He...]]

This too shall pass Pleasebehere! It's not permanent. Just an annoying eye twitch that's lingering on!! Praying for a speedy recovery from those nasty pills!!😃

[[Pl...]]

This too shall pass Pleasebehere! It's not permanent. Just an annoying eye twitch that's lingering on!! Praying for a speedy recovery from those nasty pills!!😃

 

Thank you for your kindness

[[Tr...]]

Thank you for this group. I'm 9 months and 1 week of no Xanax and Paxil . Even though I had many good days  but I'm still suffering a lot. My symtoms are : chest pain , dizziness, intrusive thoughts, dp and dr , headache , tired , adrenaline surges. These symtoms come and go on a daily basis. I have been having two days wave . Right now my chest hurts . I feel very discouraged and frustrated . I tried to be positive but it's hard because I'm working full time and taking one class at night .

 

Hope everyone feels better soon !

 

Tracy

[[Ca...]]

Nine months ten days off.  Symptoms are still quite severe -- cannot work, sit still, socialize, read, watch TV or go to movies; panic and terror, despair, suicidal ideation, hopelessness, health anxiety, exhaustion, DR, intense lumbar spine pain, numbness in feet, some insomnia, restlessness and agitation.

 

Despite this long list, my symptoms have improved somewhat since the first six months.  The terror is not as prevalent -- it's usually a notch down to strong and constant anxiety and fear.  I have had some windows at night or late afternoon for a few hours on some days.  I've mostly though been in waves.  Mornings are especially hard -- I have difficulty getting up.

 

I do my best to get through the day and do not expect anything at this point in terms of when I will significantly heal.  I am always interested by buddies who push through and do things which make them hugely uncomfortable.  I find that the stress of that on my CNS is often not worth it.

 

 

[[NY...]]

Nine months ten days off.  Symptoms are still quite severe -- cannot work, sit still, socialize, read, watch TV or go to movies; panic and terror, despair, suicidal ideation, hopelessness, health anxiety, exhaustion, DR, intense lumbar spine pain, numbness in feet, some insomnia, restlessness and agitation.

 

Despite this long list, my symptoms have improved somewhat since the first six months.  The terror is not as prevalent -- it's usually a notch down to strong and constant anxiety and fear.  I have had some windows at night or late afternoon for a few hours on some days.  I've mostly though been in waves.  Mornings are especially hard -- I have difficulty getting up.

 

I do my best to get through the day and do not expect anything at this point in terms of when I will significantly heal.  I am always interested by buddies who push through and do things which make them hugely uncomfortable.  I find that the stress of that on my CNS is often not worth it.

 

I relate to so much of what you say, Carol.  I'm trying to keep a stiff upper lip here, but it's been incredibly hard (with some really amazing windows to keep my hope alive, thankfully).

 

I still have anxiety, but usually it's 'physical', with adrenaline pumping through my body. This happens at night also, from 2-5Am.  My CNS is still raw, and like you, I tend to protect it by avoiding too much stimulation (even social). Depression comes in big waves, but will completely vanish without warning.  So I can go from being despondent and seeing my world and life as bleak and ugly, then snapping out of it completely, sometimes all in an afternoon.  It's exhausting. Cog fog is still pretty bad, so getting back to work still seems unrealistic (I need my brain to be sharp for the work I do). I have a lot of physical sxs also, but they're easing up...  off/on GI, plugged ears, full body edema, and blurry/bright vision are probably the most pronounced.  And DP/DR is with me at varying degrees most of the time.  Thankfully in windows it ALL GOES AWAY, but they're unpredictable and fleeting.  In windows, I feel a deep sense of inner calm and peace, clarity, ease. 

 

I am a long-term/high dose user, but thought I was one of the lucky ones, b/c I felt pretty good at the end of my taper.  I really didn't expect 9 long months of suffering, but I'm getting better at accepting my path to wellness now.  I tend to think in terms of milestones, so 3 months/6 months/etc.  Now I'm hopeful that things will get progressively better and I'll see a lot of improvements at one year.  Here's hoping!

 

I know there are quite a few other buddies who jumped around the same time as us.  Hopefully we can get this support group active again. 

 

Hope everyone wakes to a window today.

 

In solidarity,

WR

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[ca...]]

WR, You know my story I tapered down off 4 mgs k after 20+ years and went to a lower dose of v and have been chipping away at that so about 70 % done with my benzo taper. Not sure where to post so took a break from the forum but like you I have the same bit going on (up down all around) can be day to day ugggg~ but then comes a window and it helps me keep plugging along with hope , the last couple months my GI system has been in a total uproar and if not for that I think I would be in a much better place as the mental shit comes and goes and I just need to work thru it and remind myself I been here before and along came a window and with it comes hope so keep the faith TG ! Huggs ~CD

[[NY...]]

WR, You know my story I tapered down off 4 mgs k after 20+ years and went to a lower dose of v and have been chipping away at that so about 70 % done with my benzo taper. Not sure where to post so took a break from the forum but like you I have the same bit going on (up down all around) can be day to day ugggg~ but then comes a window and it helps me keep plugging along with hope , the last couple months my GI system has been in a total uproar and if not for that I think I would be in a much better place as the mental shit comes and goes and I just need to work thru it and remind myself I been here before and along came a window and with it comes hope so keep the faith TG ! Huggs ~CD

 

Great to hear from you PW! 

 

Sorry you're still suffering from the GI stuff also.  I get long stretches, months at a time, where it goes away completely.  This has helped with my health anxiety, knowing it's 100% withdrawal.

 

PM me anytime.  I'm always thinking about you and my KK buddies.

 

Huggggs!

 

 

 

 

[[Ca...]]

How often do you get windows??

 

Sometimes I get a reduction in the mental symptoms for an hour at night. Not often enough. Ten months today.

[[NY...]]

How often do you get windows??

 

Sometimes I get a reduction in the mental symptoms for an hour at night. Not often enough. Ten months today.

 

Good morning.

 

Congratulations on 10 months!  I know others who didn't have windows, all the way up until they were healed. 

 

I don't get the really good windows often, maybe a few times a month.  Partial windows are routine though - a lessening of symptoms, and feeling of calm and ease. 

 

An exception to this: I was in a brutal two-month wave recently,  which just broke about a week ago.  I had no windows throughout, but my baseline is much better now that I've pulled out of it. Heath anxiety is one of my big issues, and one of the reasons why windows are so important to me - they help to re-set my worry clock, and allow me to think rationally about things again so when the next wave hits, I can cope better.

 

Take care,

WR

 

 

 

[[Ca...]]

Health anxiety is my Achilles heel. I developed some health issues from withdrawal--severe lower back pain and rosacea which are real but the anxiety over "what ifs" is excruciating. I have been in a wave for several weeks and am not having the hour or so of mild relief at night that I have had. My biggest fears  are of becoming bed bound or going back in to acute.

[[He...]]

Hello buddies! I know what you mean as far as the Health Anxiety! It's been a year off ALL meds for me! I'm not where I want to be, but THANK GOD , I'm not where I use to be!! I still have lingering symptoms: GI issues, all over body spasms, and bouts of depression. But, none of them are as bad as they were 6 months ago! I see a little light shining at the end of the tunnel! Healing is coming for us all soon! God bless everyone of us!!

[[on...]]

Glad to find this group today...needing a little support to get me through a bad wave this week....back to muscle pain, anxiety surges, sweating, fatigue, despair- not sure what brought these symptoms back with a vengeance....thought at 12 months I would be posting a success story not back in the throes of withdrawal. Seems like a cruel joke at this point when I really thought I was almost healed! I was feeling  so  hopeful- even had days when I felt true joy for the first time in years.  I pray that I get back to that feeling soon. thanks for listening.