Need some support 😢

[[Pi...]]

Hi,am really struggling with all this,have got it into my head that am not going to make this journey I really believe it....we all know the mind is a powerful tool!i can't get out of this thinking pattern!have also held for over 2 month an I just can't get stable at all..,any body else feel like a pressure cooker??i feel as tho am ready to explode....every time I take these pills my anxiety goes thru the roof an am having panic attacks.real bad muscle cramps an brutal insommina!!i really do believe am

Dieing x

[[be...]]

You're not dying. You just feel like it. Every time I take my dose I feel unwell but now that I'm lower I feel the sxs are much less intense. I found that it's more the drug harming me than the actual withdrawal. So some hold to stabilize but it didn't work for me. I felt better (after about 3 days) after each cut. Still do. Still some bumps but the bumps aren't worse than the dose. Roughly the same so why not cut? Get rid of it. Others disagree but yes the mind is powerful and being stable has a different meaning for everybody. To me I've never been "complete normal " between cuts or maybe my approach would be different. Listen to your body. If the dose is causing the problem cut a tiny bit off it. It's worth at try at least it was for me. I don't cut though if I'm not functioning at all. Or in serious pain. If my dose eases it it's not time to cut. B

[[Pi...]]

Hi b 💕 It seems your doing really well way to go...yea what is stable?i feel as tho have got ptsd thru this...am always confused like am brain dead...am going to cut 5% next week!my anxiety is off the charts I feel like have been skinned alive....am terrified to the the point of tramatised at reducing...the longer have held the terror of going lower is insidious!!if I could just think had be able to get a grip..the lack of sleep is brutal 3-4 hours for the last 4 month..thank you for your reply 💕

[[be...]]

Anticipating the cuts can be the killer. Pinkfairy it's all part of this and we often feel traumatized during withdrawal. It sucks big time!!!! That's one reason I stopped long holds. I was so afraid of the next one but looking back I realized I had nothing to fear. It might not get better but it's doubtful it'll get worse. Some stages are brutal. But once we bypass them often the sun comes out. Happy to see you but only wish you were feeling better. If you possibly can try to let the fear go. That alone is overwhelming. Hugs pinkfairy. You're doing better than you think...because you're still trying! B

[[Pi...]]

Happy to see you too b ❤️ How's your husband doing I hope his ok?that made me smile you recognised me infact it warmed my heart!thank you b just a real bad wave..had a few windows the other week.but the dam things closed shut...it's such a tramatizing expercience you couldn't make it up.i will try my best it's defiantly the fear holding me back...thanks b every day am battling 

[[be...]]

Love hearing from you. Hubby ok. Thank you for asking. Yes it's a battle. But it can it get rough. But if we don't fight the battle (hopefully not too fearfully) then we can't win the war. Right??? And you, me and everyone will win this war. The stupid drug is your enemy right now. Strategize, plan defiantly, forge ahead sometimes full force, sometimes silently and very cautiously, sit in the trenches to catch your breath. Kill that bloody enemy. It might be a little pill but it's a dangerous foe. The attack is on. One way or another we'll survive. Love those windows when they happen. Consider them a pleasant furlough. The waves...enemy fire! Dodge those bullets. Lol having fun playing war. Bang bang. Valium is dead. B  

[[Pi...]]

Haha b I just love it girl ❤️!!wow you have really cheered me up so so much!my angel you girl,am going to write this out 😃.i just need armour to avoid this bullets...I have actually lol at what you have just wrote it's so so spot on...it's like game on,hard hats at the ready.!!!!sending huge healing hugs to both you An your husband b 💕!!!you have really calmed me down,can't thank you enough!!amazing lady...you have just lifted out your hand to some one who had fallen.thank you for the pull back up...I need a plan an coping skills.. An distraction!because have gone into this war with no armour apart from a pack of bloody fags :/

[[be...]]

See laughter good for you. Lol I love my cigs too...well not really I actually hate smoking but right now nobody can take those away. Win WW1 benzo war first then have numerous battles fighting WW11. Cigarettes! Then what. No more wars? I would like that....boy would I ever. But no matter what you just hang in there. No pulling out now. I'll be thinking of you. And yes distractions. Don't laugh but I have adult colouring books. Sounds dumb but they take lots of troubles away. Oddly so does folding laundry. Tv. Netflix. Whatever. Make fun of yourself sometimes. If we take our troubles way to seriously it sometimes gets in the way of healing. If you mess up realize that we all do at times. You're going to be ok. I just know it. We both will. B

[[Pi...]]

Thanks barb,I feel like have been plugged into an electric socket!yes laughter is def good for us.i have adult colouring books too...yea I seriously need to distract more.as for the cigs they can go last but I do need to sort my food out as I aren't eating good at all...my CNS is shot to pot am going to have to start looking after my self I find it hard to as am so exhausted from lack of sleep..thanks for been there your a ⭐️