Is THIS what people mean when they say healing is cyclical ???

[[si...]]

I've read on here that healing is non-linear, cyclical, etc. I'm not sure if what I'm experiencing is a lesson in this or not. With reference to the four phases of withdrawal post, I think I have just emerged from acute (I don't think I need to describe, to this audience, that my acute was hellish...) and have entered phase two?

 

Basically, I started taking Gingko Biloba, eating ext low carb / no sugar, and I was feeling, after four weeks of non stop constant ALL symptoms and uncontrollable crying, to feeling OKAY -- like, I could go to the library and do short bouts of reading, etc. However this morning and last night I was feeling very depressed. This morning, though I've been SO good about it, I was too agoraphobic to take my dog for a walk. So, today I am still in sweat pants, unable to move or do anything, but though this sucks and I am depressed what I DON'T have is extreme anxiety or terror, and the "pringling" feeling all over my face has let up a bit. Is this what is meant by symptoms morphing? By some leaving temporarily and others coming back? OR is this just my baseline depression? I'm on Wellbutrin for that. I feel VERY BAD but I don't feel in total nonstop anxious despair right now––even though three days ago a friend  literally had to carry me down the street and hold me as I was rocking while trying to feed me some food, and I almost checked myself into a psych ward! Ha ha. SO, this feels acceptable by comparison, but I am still totally worthless...and I'm also discouraged that the depression and agoraphobia, which had let up, have returned so abruptly.

 

Anyone have similar experiences? What did it feel like when you left acute? Are the cycles this short? Need support that this is still part of the withdrawal and I'm not just innately wretched.  :'(  :'(  :'(

 

A.

[[Ma...]]

My acute was around 3 weeks than I had circle of 2 weeks felllng better than again symptoms.But 5 month was worst than acute.It was pore horror.

Now is again better.

So I cannot give you informations when this will stop but at me was really like that 2 days I felt bit better and than it stopped.I never felt on 100 % but it was so that I could functiom and live.

[[si...]]

Thanks Masha.

 

Yeah, it was like 2 days I felt OKAy and thought (naively) that the "old me" was surfacing from the DP/DR and all the rest, but then feeling of being not myself returned. One thing that happened––and I FEEL like I want to attribute this to the Gingko Biloba (I've taken 120 mg for about 5 days now) but of course, I have no way of knowing––is that my toxic mornings, which were HORRIBLE, have vanished. I am really, really praying that those don't come back.

 

Anyone else have an experience with these "morphing" symtpoms? I just keep convincing myself that this is the way that I am––depressed, lazy, dumb, etc. I'm scared of this thing of RETURNING to acute that some people report. I'm just bummed bc I thought I was healing.