3 months off and wondering if this is the real me.

[[Da...]]

Hi all.

 

I am almost 3 months off of Valium and suddenly started to worry today.

 

My social skills before Valium (ab)use have never really been that good, but I feel it is worse or the same now as before I began using it.

 

My social skills became a lot better over the years while under influence of Valium.

Successful at my job, confident public speaker etc.

 

Right now, besides my colleagues that I see every day and my family, friends and girlfriend I have difficulties with being social.

I am pretty anxious in group talks (meetings for example) like I was 12 years ago.

End of last year I had some group training and couldn't concentrate on it, because of the stress in my head and body.

 

I used Valium for a little more than 12 years.

I don't know if I'm anxious, because of the withdrawal or that it's the real me that has been suppressed by the Valium all this time.

 

I'm scared that all this years of developing myself and my confidence has been a waste and have to start over.

 

It's perfectly fine if it is the withdrawal, but am pretty scared now that this is the real me.

 

Someone else feeling this way?

 

[[Da...]]

To me it sounds like you are not doing that bad. You are at the third month of a process that can take a long time. It is different for each person so it is impossible to say how long it is going to last for you. Social anxiety is a big part of it. I am going on 14 months now and my biggest problems are still the anxiety and the cognitive issues. I feel like I have the brain of a two year old. Hang in there this maybe you today but it is not you for life, you will get better, you get into this phase of bounce back anxiety and it can be painful, but it does get better just hang in there.

[[Da...]]

Thank you Davies for your kind reply!

 

I just make my life as busy and meaningful as I can while going through this phase.

 

I sport 3 times a week, started learning a new skill in Programming (I can do that safe behind my PC without social interaction  ) and have my weekends filled with activities with my child and/or girlfriend.

 

It is way more stressful to do social activities now, but it's a bit of a love and hate situation.

If I am not social with my friends or family and keep myself locked home without stress, I know I will get depressed.

 

Your situation sounds difficult.

14 months out is such a long time.

I hope you will get healed soon.

Hang in there mate!! Sooner or later we will be free of this