Never felt so horrible

[[Mu...]]

I'm currently on 5.5mg of Valium and my anxiety and depression are beyond this world, I have suicidal thoughts even though I would never do such thing, the emotional pain is so intense, I'm really struggling, I will probably be holding for a while, my severe agoraphobia which I had way before benzos has been keeping me inside for months and I can't even go for a walk,  just opening the door is enough to throw me into a full blow panic attack,I'm literally scared of life and anything has to do with it at this point, I feel agoraphobic in my own house if that makes any sense, going from room to room has become a chore, I don't really have a safe space anymore, is there anything I can take to curb my severe depression and anxiety besides SSRI's? any advice would be greatly appreciated

[[Su...]]

Looking at your log it would appear to me you are tapering too fast.  I have suffered the same symptoms as you through cutting too quickly. 15mg Mirtazepine helped me out of it -- in point of fact I felt it helped more or less overnight as I couldn't eat anything either as all food stuck in my mouth and I couldn't swallow it.  What joy it was to eat a cooked meal.  I'm not trying to say this is your only option but just a suggestion because if this drug suits you it really can help you out 

[[be...]]

Remeron also saved my life. Slept beautifully, felt less anxious the next day and gained much needed weight. It was a life saver if you can tolerate it. Might also want to slow taper down. I'm agoraphobic again since starting Valium but I'm hoping it will pass in time. It's dreadful so my heart goes out. Tonight though I'm starting to taper the Remeron because over the last 15 months enjoy eating too much. Starting to bother me because now too much weight gain. But honestly my taper would have been impossible without it. Some get by on 7.5 mg just great. Anything over 15 mg though defeats the purpose if for sleep. B

[[Mu...]]

I remember trying mirtazapine for 3 days some years ago, I had brain zaps and an auditory hallucination, also my anxiety had increased, I don't remember what dose they gave me though, I tried taking Paxil a month ago and it didn't help, only lasted 3 days on it, strange cause I was taking the same dose which got me out of my depression in 2011 and I didn't have much of a problem with it back then, I have some Zoloft 50mg though I haven't took it so far out of fear, maybe I could ask my GP to prescribe me some Mirtazapine again to see if I have a better reaction this time 

[[Di...]]

Sorry you are feeling so bad. 

[[Jo...]]

I was going to ask but you just answered.  I had to quit Effexor.  I crossed to Paxil 9 months ago and stopped that 3 months ago. 

 

Without the benzo buffer, as I tapered, the ADs were causing me huge anxiety. 

 

As others have indicated, maybe your just going too fast on your taper. 

 

I had a witch dr. (er. psychiatrist) put me on Remeron.  I lasted about a month.  The weight gain was instant, and came off just as quick when I stopped.  Water retention I guess.  I know for me that more drugs are not the answer. 

[[be...]]

The only AD I've ever been able to tolerate is the Remeron. SSRIs make me bounce off walls. Panic city. But Remeron was needed when I began my taper because I was only 87 lbs and sleeping roughly 2 hours a night if lucky. So low dose 15 mg worked as I rapidly tapered 8 mg Ativan and 2 mg klonopin. The weight is weight. Maybe some water retention but not much. The water retention is probably the gabapentin but I'm taking less and less of that as well. More only as needed. I'm told the weight will come off when I quit as will the sugar cravings. So it's definitely time to quit as it served its purpose. I'm not extraordinarily overweight but uncomfortable with it just the same. And I'm sleeping ok. It's true though without good reason I wouldn't take another Med at all. Thing is it was either eat and get nourishment or end up in the hospital for malnutrition. I chose Remeron over that. But ya. No longer needed as I wasn't in need of a Med for depression. B

[[Mu...]]

I often have to spit my food out because it throws me into panic mode, I can't enjoy eating anymore let alone have a break from anxiety, electric shocks or depression or any other symptom for that matter, I'm willing to give Remeron a try, perhaps a dose of 7.5mg could do me some good, who knows...

[[be...]]

7.5 mg is a small dose and is often given to patients with anorexia so they can eat and gain weight. If you can't eat I'd give it a try. Not eating can lead to multiple other problems worse than a small dose of Remeron. B

[[Su...]]

Remeron also saved my life. Slept beautifully, felt less anxious the next day and gained much needed weight. It was a life saver if you can tolerate it. Might also want to slow taper down. I'm agoraphobic again since starting Valium but I'm hoping it will pass in time. It's dreadful so my heart goes out. Tonight though I'm starting to taper the Remeron because over the last 15 months enjoy eating too much. Starting to bother me because now too much weight gain. But honestly my taper would have been impossible without it. Some get by on 7.5 mg just great. Anything over 15 mg though defeats the purpose if for sleep. B

 

I was put on 15mg by a Psychiatrist so I had no option and hadn't even heard of it -- suffice to say it worked well for me.  Eventually I cut  to 7.5 at my own discretion for one month then off it with no problems.  I guess I got lucky 

[[Su...]]

I remember trying mirtazapine for 3 days some years ago, I had brain zaps and an auditory hallucination, also my anxiety had increased, I don't remember what dose they gave me though, I tried taking Paxil a month ago and it didn't help, only lasted 3 days on it, strange cause I was taking the same dose which got me out of my depression in 2011 and I didn't have much of a problem with it back then, I have some Zoloft 50mg though I haven't took it so far out of fear, maybe I could ask my GP to prescribe me some Mirtazapine again to see if I have a better reaction this time 

 

Might it have been a multi drug interaction do you think?  I know it can adversely affect some people but if it suits you it's very helpful both in withdrawal and with the anxiety aspects.  When we are suffering withdrawal the whole body is messed up unfortunately.   

[[be...]]

Susie think this is the norm although there are exceptions. I'd never heard of Remeron either but my doctor said any time I felt like it cut it in half, then quarter for a week and be done. He's had very few patients with problems coming off. Just weight gain issues. Your post was encouraging because I'm weaning off now. Thing is I've rapidly tapered a bit of Valium so won't go with 1/2. Will start with one quarter. How long did you take it? Can you still sleep? That's my biggest worry. I'm very tempted to take off a half right now. B

[[be...]]

50 years! Incredible. Thought I was bad. B

[[Su...]]

Susie think this is the norm although there are exceptions. I'd never heard of Remeron either but my doctor said any time I felt like it cut it in half, then quarter for a week and be done. He's had very few patients with problems coming off. Just weight gain issues. Your post was encouraging because I'm weaning off now. Thing is I've rapidly tapered a bit of Valium so won't go with 1/2. Will start with one quarter. How long did you take it? Can you still sleep? That's my biggest worry. I'm very tempted to take off a half right now. B

 

I took it for over two years, I did gain a little weight but I didn't mind to be honest.  The only way you will find out is to try and as long as you feel ready it should be ok.  So far I have had no recurring problem with sleep.

 

The reassuring thing is Mirtazepine being an antidepressant isn't as drastic, at worst, to get off compared to a Benzo so that's encouraging. We've already been through hell so if a problem does occur it's a better option than taking a Benzo again!  I think I would cut down over four-week periods rather than weekly ones but do what you think is best for you, of course.

 

To your second point -- yes, 50 years 

[[be...]]

Thanks that makes sense. Think I'll go with a quarter cuz not quite done Valium but will just do it monthly. My body's been through enough. I can always reinstate if needed. Just really gained too much weight and frustrated more with just not comfortable with it. But I sure needed extra pounds originally.  And yes  sorry muilav didn't mean to hijack. I hope it works well for you on this try. B

[[li...]]

You could always try holding for a little while to see if your symptoms improve. I can't say for sure, but slower has been better for me. Valium has such a long half life, its easy for symptoms to stack up.

 

The wear and tear on the nervous system is cumulative. I had some of your symptoms early on when I tapered too fast, and it improved with a very long hold about 4 months, after resuming a slow taper, none of the symptoms have been as bad as they were in the beginning.

 

Good luck. - also I was already on A/D wellbutrin. I am all for having one on board while tapering.

[[Mu...]]

My GP refused to prescribe me Remeron, she said it can only be prescribed by a psychiatrist and I don't have one atm, my mother called some kind of anxiety center and the lady on the phone asked to speak to me, she told me that she's a benzo survivor and there's unfortunately no help in this country for people that go through benzo withdrawal, she said that she was treated in some kind of center abroad specialized in benzo withdrawal and that the panic and anxiety will always be there with me, she also told me that what I was doing was very dangerous cause I was doing it at home, that kinda scared me a bit, she advised me to search for a  benzo detox clinic abroad, I really can't set foot outside atm, I want to shower so bad and I can't! it's been more than a week!  I decided to take 25mg of Zoloft, I hope I'll feel better soon, this is unbearable, idk what else to do atm...

[[er...]]

My GP refused to prescribe me Remeron, she said it can only be prescribed by a psychiatrist

Do you live in the USA? My GP prescribed me Remeron. But the idiot put me on 90MGs daily. Got c/t off it in 2015. That sucked. I'm on 30MGs at night now. Don't feel any worse on it. Might cut back to .15MGs after my K taper. I want to give my brain a rest from tapering. I like Remeron better than ALL the SSRIs. I get really weird on them.

[[Mu...]]

My GP refused to prescribe me Remeron, she said it can only be prescribed by a psychiatrist

Do you live in the USA? My GP prescribed me Remeron. But the idiot put me on 90MGs daily. Got c/t off it in 2015. That sucked. I'm on 30MGs at night now. Don't feel any worse on it. Might cut back to .15MGs after my K taper. I want to give my brain a rest from tapering. I like Remeron better than ALL the SSRIs. I get really weird on them.

Nope, I live in Luxembourg,I've tried a few SSRI's and I agree they feel weird and the side effects are not pleasant at all, psychiatrists here are not really concerned about benzo withdrawal, I was admitted in a psych ward willingly last year just so I could be around people and some of them were forced to cold turkey on high doses of xanax, needless to say I didn't stay for long...