I'm trying to remain calm

[[Bl...]]

[pre][/pre]

Finally i think i'm here, but have no idea what i'm doing.

I came off too fast a taper and 'jumped off' 11 days ago, not knowing what i know now.

I took klonopin, then xanax, then knonopin  for about a year.

I have a laundry list of withdrawal symptoms... a lot of them supposedly less frequent or rare.

...aannnd i haven't even told my dr. yet

Hi everyone...I think i might be in the right place.

 

[[pi...]]

Hello BlueGrey,

 

Welcome to Benzo Buddies! Yes, you are in the right place, we understand what you are going through and will support and encourage you as you recover. Count me in as one who didn't know much about benzos, tapering or withdrawal.  I made it through my taper and I did recover.

 

In general, a slow taper can help to minimize withdrawal symptoms. How fast was your taper and from what dose?  There are many symptoms that can arise while going through the withdrawal process.  The one thing to remember is that this is temporary and will ease up with time. I'm going to give you a link to the Ashton Manual. It is an excellent resource about these types of drugs and how to withdraw. While it does discuss tapering in detail, it also gives a lot of good information about the withdrawal process in general.

 

I'll also give you a link to the Post Withdrawal Recovery board where you can post and receive feedback from members.

 

We're glad you've joined, you'll find a kind and caring community of people willing to help and inform.  Please do ask questions, we're here to help.

 

Post-withdrawal Recovery Support 

 

The Ashton Manual

 

pianogirl 

 

 

[[Bl...]]

wow That was fast! Hi Ms Piano!

I was on .5 mg of klononopin 2 times a day to 2 xanax .5 2 times a day to 3 xanax 3 times a day to 2 klonopin 2 times a day ...then i started tapering myself. i was in tolerance withdrawal since i went back to 2 pills a day ..then i tapered to 2/3 of a pill... then 1/2 a pill, then 1/3 of a pill... I only tapered for about 10 days. I wish i would have read up on this before i started tapering.... and this is immediately after coming off 40 mg of oxycodone(percocet with no tylenol)  to 2 7.5 mg of vicodin... to one vicodin 3 days before. I'm so tired.. but cant sleep...

It wasn't until i was 6 days without pain medication and 3 days without klonopin that i realllllllly started feeling it. I cant count how many times i picked up the phone to call my dr or therapist and hung up before saying anything. I did tell my therapist i was tapering when i was, and how bad it seemed.He had no information besides that he hoped if he had to come off klonopin he hoped it wouldn't be like it was for me...Lovely!!! The guy i was hoping would help me get off the klonopin ends up being on the stuff too. I've not talked to him since i've been cold turkey, though. BOY is  HE in for a surprise!!!

I've not been out of the house, set aside to let the dogs out, since before Christmas, and have NO desire to do so,although i'm selling my old house and am no way near being moved out of the old one, which was broken into.

I cant seem to get the insurance papers together, let alone finish moving..

I'm one hot mess...I could write a book with my complaints and fears, which is the only emotion i seem to feel besides anger. I'd like to see what anyone else who cares to comment has to say, though...

 

 

 

 

[[pi...]]

Hello again BlueGrey,

 

Yes, that is a fast taper and since you jumped off early January you are in the acute phase of withdrawal where the symptoms can be the strongest.  With some time, these symptoms will ease up.

 

Many of us have been housebound due to withdrawal. When I was at my worse, my bedroom was my oasis and I rarely ventured from it.  These drugs make such significant changes to the central nervous system and the reset is not immediate. Plus, you have just come off opioids as well.

 

Is there anyone that can help you with the insurance papers?  A friend or family member?

 

Anger is common during this process, often referred to as benzo rage.  I think we have a lot to be angry about, the fact that we were put on a drug that causes dependency, a drug that is designed for short term use say 2-3 weeks.  Anger won't help withdrawal although it's OK to vent feelings rather than keeping them bottled up.

 

The thing that got me through the worst of withdrawal was distractions.  I had a "bag of tricks" that I used daily and sometimes through the night. Watching light hearted movies, reading, doing puzzles, playing Scrabble and reading Success Stories were just a few of my tools.

 

You'll get through this and we're here to help.

 

pianogirl 

 

 

[[Ch...]]

Hi, BG, you are one brave lady!!! I give you great respect for going through this as well as you are.

Keep posting and asking questions plus use the search engine.  I will be following your progress.  You will be surprised by how your symptoms are actually being experienced by MANY who will give you sympathy and pointers...

Best wishes...

[[ly...]]

 

 

You've only been off 11 days - if it were me I might consider a partial reinstatement, followed by a slow taper.

[[Bl...]]

  I'm not brave, i was just uneducated, and trusted my doctors.

  I'm scared of my own shadow, seems.

  If i would have known the symptoms of withdrawal, i'd have pushed myself to the doctor's and gone on a longer taper. I cannot say i wouldn't have used the meds, because i think that would be a lie. I was desperate at the time--i cried at the drop of a hat and was on the roller-coaster that never ended til i was exhausted, and as drinking was not an option (I come from a long line of alcoholics) i had to do something. Pain from spinal stenosis .. the divorce...going through graves disease(hyperthyroidism)...losing both of my big brothers then my best friend dying at 50....... everything came crashing down at once. I'm still kind of surprised i haven't ended it already. 

  I must be here for a reason. Seeing you both able to offer positive feedback is encouraging... Thankyou!!!

  As  far as going back onto klonopin-- after going through what i've already done?? No, thank you, I don't want to go through it again. I dealt with tolerance withdrawal when i went from 3 xanax to 2 klonopin, and was weaning from there... I don't want to go back.. but let me tell you-- the though has crossed my mind at least once a day--especially in the morning when the ride starts all over again.

  About the anger--i don't have rage, thank heaven. The anger is not nearly as bad as the fear..panic.. type of mortifying "deer in the headlights" paralysis i feel when i think about going and doing. I think i'd rather have rage.