How do you avoid taking a Benzo when the going gets tough???

[[hi...]]

Hi dears!! I finished my taper months ago. Was doing swell. Life went along swimmingly. Then, unexpectedly, we had to move to another state for my husband's work. I was excited and looking forward to the journey. Now that I'm here and my previous house, that I lived in for 20 yrs, is up for sale, I'm in bad spirits. I feel spooked, as if I've been dropped off in some foreign land. Nothing looks familiar, no friends here. I took .25mg Klonopin twice since we have arrived, at night, before bed. I know not to take it daily, god no. And I know taking it even occ should not be my go to mode. But here's what it feels like---a warm blanket around my shivering brain. 

[[Tr...]]

That warm blanket is so seductive. I also gave in to temptation and took .5 mg a few months ago. I found it helped a little but I didn't enjoy the feeling as much as I thought I would. I've done so much mindful meditation that it made me feel like I had given over control of my thinking to a substance and I didn't really find the peace I was looking for. I ended up throwing the rest of my pills away and now I work on finding other ways to cope. It's difficult but worth it in the long run.

[[on...]]

Hkingchick- I know how you feel - this Christmas my Dad fell and broke his hip and he has been in and out of the hospital since- in very bad shape- I keep thinking how good a xanax would make me feel- it would calm down the anxiety- but what has held me back is remembering how far I have come- and knowing that after that moment of calmness the xanax would bring- would come horrible feelings of guilt for taking it and anger at myself for giving in...so I just try to cope with my breathing skills... it is a struggle though.....wonder if I will always think about escaping in a xanax   I do know I am committed to never giving in- its been 7 1/2 months now.

[Guest [ch...]]

No desire to take a benzo again, even when I'm feeling anxious. It would remind me of those 2 years of tapering and would make me depressed. I'd rather be anxious.

[[me...]]

Distraction, distraction, distraction.  I found that my cravings only lasted about 15 minutes, so if I could distract myself that long I was through it.  I knew as well that the short (an hour, maybe two) relief I'd get from xanax would be nothing compared to the self-recriminations I'd put myself through.  So, at about three months off I got rid of my "stash" for good and never looked back.  That was much easier than I thought it would be, and not having the benzos available goes a long way towards not craving them.

 

[[hi...]]

Thanks, you guys!  It's almost like "fool's gold", isn't it. And it's foolish to keep a stash around, knowing that it becomes a crutch. I'd say if I had waited 15 minutes, I would not have taken it. Lord knows, it also took me 2 years to taper off of it, and I certainly was able to do so without taking it whenever something bad happened.

[[Kl...]]

It's easy for me.. I remember how I feel right now six months out and so sick. It makes it easy to remember why I'm here. Bc of those pills. The devil.

[[er...]]

It's easy for me.. I remember how I feel right now six months out and so sick. It makes it easy to remember why I'm here. Bc of those pills. The devil.

 

I have to say, I'm with Klonofree here.. For me, it's pretty damn easy not to desire a benzo even when I am feeling in the "red line" area of stress.  I actually HATE benzos now, and don't want anything to do with them ever again.  I can't imagine doing anything much worse to myself than taking benzos again.

 

When I feel overwhelmed by things, stress / anxiety, I pray and ask God to remove my fears, I take a shower, I go to the gym, or I will just give myself permission to "veg" a while.  The feeling always passes.

 

Good luck in the new place!

 

Eric

[[Tr...]]

I understand how you feel but I have no desire to take benzo again. Every time I went to my family doctor she offered to give me a prescription if benzo but I never gave in. Even at ER couple days ago but when they gave to me and walked away . My fiancé took it and threw in the trash can, without letting mthem see if course .

[[Tr...]]

Forgot to add we can try meditation, exercise, eating healthy etc and distraction.  It will pass. Hope you feel better.

 

Tracy

[[ca...]]

I was on Xanax for a short period of time (2 months) so I don't know how hard it would be for someone who has been on this for years. I just knew that I could not allow myself to take this stuff after I finally jumped. I did carry a bottle with me for the first month after I had jumped as a more of a "in case of emergency" backup. I never had to do that but there was a couple of times I considered it. After a month I threw it away and never looked back. The only regret I have had is allowing myself to be talked into taking this in the first place.

[[on...]]

Hard to believe I was at my doctor today for a checkup and told her I was still feeling anxious 7 months post xanax and she offered to prescribe me klonopin instead of xanax....UNREAL...I told her not matter what the level of anxiety I have  I will never take another benzo...she seemed shocked.

[[Tr...]]

Hard to believe I was at my doctor today for a checkup and told her I was still feeling anxious 7 months post xanax and she offered to prescribe me klonopin instead of xanax....UNREAL...I told her not matter what the level of anxiety I have  I will never take another benzo...she seemed shocked.

 

Hi there.  How are you doing? How are your symptoms? My symptoms have been better and worse and better and worse for months now. My worst symptoms are dizziness, adrenaline surges (turn into panic attacks sometimes), and chest pain.  Yes every time I Went to my doctor she always wanted me to take a benzo.

[[on...]]

TraceyNGL-Like you the bad waves come and go. My primary complaints right now are surges of anxiety, related  jaw clenching, fatigue and being kind of down. Think the reality has set in that maybe this is as good as I will get- so no wonder I am feeling weepy sometimes. Yes  I am  better than I was a few months ago but I had hoped that the new me would be better than this! I had been reading with concern  your recent chest pain issues and panic attacks.... so sorry you are going through that...think the only reason my anxiety has not escalated into full blown panic attacks is that I have slowly learned to talk myself down off the ledge when I feel one coming on. I used to give into the fear and then WHAM I thought I needed an ambulance as I was dying.  Now I just keep repeating  to myself  "this will not kill you - it never has in the past- so just try to relax till  its over." Doesn't always work but I am doing better.. I used to be convinced I was having either a heart attack or stroke when the panic would set in. Called an ambulance twice many years ago but soon realized I couldn't keep doing that. Gotta find the strength within myself but it is not easy. Best wishes to you for a better 2017!

[[Kl...]]

I got rid of all my benzos so even when the fleeting feeling of wanting to take one comes, I don't have the option. You then realize no matter how bad you felt in that moment, you survived it without benzos and it reinforces not wanting to take them.

[[Ph...]]

<<How do I avoid taking a Benzo when the going gets tough???>>

 

Don't let the going get rough.  Process things differently.  Work on faulty thinking patterns.  Get the book "Feeling Good" by David Burns, or, if you want an Eastern religion version of same, try "Seeking the Heart of Wisdom" by Goldstein and Kornfield.  For me, there were times when reading passages from these books were as effective as a taking a milligram of Ativan.

[[Tr...]]

Like you the bad waves come and go. My primary complaints right now are surges of anxiety, related  jaw clenching, fatigue and being kind of down. Think the reality has set in that maybe this is as good as I will get- so no wonder I am feeling weepy sometimes. Yes  I am  better than I was a few months ago but I had hoped that the new me would be better than this! I had been reading with concern  your recent chest pain issues and panic attacks.... so sorry you are going through that...think the only reason my anxiety has not escalated into full blown panic attacks is that I have slowly learned to talk myself down off the ledge when I feel one coming on. I used to give into the fear and then WHAM I thought I needed an ambulance as I was dying.  Now I just keep repeating  to myself  "this will not kill you - it never has in the past- so just try to relax till  its over." Doesn't always work but I am doing better.. I used to be convinced I was having either a heart attack or stroke when the panic would set in. Called an ambulance twice many years ago but soon realized I couldn't keep doing that. Gotta find the strength within myself but it is not easy. Best wishes to you for a better 2017!

 

I used to call ambulance years ago WHILE on Xanax two times thinking I was dying, turned out it was panic attacks. Since I jumped, I never call ambulance but I went to ER one time was the dizziness and couple days ago because of chest palps/chest pains. I think I have handled well regarding those panic attacks of not calling the ambulance but the chest pain for 2-3 hours nonstop that really scared me.  But I have learned that these are from withdrawals and nothing dangerous anymore. Today I was having andrenaline surges but I was able to calm down by positive talks and breathing with acceptance and knowledge. Lately I have been practicing mindfulness meditation every night. So I think I am less afraid of the panic attacks now. Now I know my hear pain and dizziness are from the wd when going to doctors/er to check, all labs were normal. I have peace of mind to calm them down. It's very tough. I just thought people would get much better by six month, going on seven months but with little reliefs discouraged me a lot.  Hope you feel better.

 

TRacy

[[Ex...]]

It's easy for me.. I remember how I feel right now six months out and so sick. It makes it easy to remember why I'm here. Bc of those pills. The devil.

 

I'm with you Klonfree. I'm in my 6th month and going through hell. I have not thrown away the rest of the pills, but I haven't thought about them once, until right this very moment. I will be handing them off to the pharmacist once I go back, but as for me, its real easy to stay away from those pills, they are the devil. 

[[hi...]]

Everyone has been so helpful! I will take your advice and thoughts!! I love to read, so I will seek out the books you have suggested. Anxiety is such a monster. I ageee that we need to change our thought processes. That's what guides my feelings-my thoughts.    Love to you all!

[[Su...]]

Hi dears!! I finished my taper months ago. Was doing swell. Life went along swimmingly. Then, unexpectedly, we had to move to another state for my husband's work. I was excited and looking forward to the journey. Now that I'm here and my previous house, that I lived in for 20 yrs, is up for sale, I'm in bad spirits. I feel spooked, as if I've been dropped off in some foreign land. Nothing looks familiar, no friends here. I took .25mg Klonopin twice since we have arrived, at night, before bed. I know not to take it daily, god no. And I know taking it even occ should not be my go to mode. But here's what it feels like---a warm blanket around my shivering brain. 

 

Nothing/nobody could persuade me to ever take a benzo again 

[[Wi...]]

Hey TRACY-

Glad to see your motivated never to use again! I know youve had a particular rough ride. Hiking-i dont mean to be the downer in the room but you are playing with fire. If you continue-you take the risk of kindling which will make your suffering much worse then it already is. I know its easy to say "just this one time aint gonna hurt anything" but even once or twice is bound to set you back and more then that will kindle your brain. I was forced to do a 2 mg ativan 2 weeks ago because of a 220/110 bp spike and i could feel the added wd effects from that for about 3 days after i took it. I implore you to not give into the temptation ever again because your brains healing process will be setback if you do. You know in your heart that its insane to ever do these life destroying pills ever again so i hope you listen to your heart. Good luck girl!

[[bl...]]

As for me, I have absolutely no desire to take a benzo ever again in my life!  I rue the day I walked out of my doctors office with that script in my hand, blissfully ignorant of what was coming down the pike for me.  I wish I could go back to that day,knowing what I know now and toss it in the trash before ever filling the script and taking it.  Now I am so terrified of any drug that I don't want to take anything ever again for any reason !!  I even got myself a medical alert bracelet that I wear all the time because I am so afraid that I could end up in the hospital and be given a benzo without my knowledge or consent.  This horrible experience has totally changed me.

[[Kl...]]

I was actually frightened keeping the benzos around. Not because I thought I would break and take one. But I started to have nightmares that I accidentally mixed up my pills and took a klonopin instead. That's when I realized it was time to toss them. I NEVER EVER want to take another benzo even as a one off.

 

Right now, stopping benzos, is the time to realize life will ALWAYS be filled with stressors (some small and some big) and the key is to practice coping skills that help you be resilient without turning to pills.

 

I lost a family member last month, the very first day of December. Unexpected and heart wrenching. I was completely floored by how much I FELT. Klonopin had dulled my senses and numbed me so that I never felt that deeply. I had no idea how I would be able to cope with being flooded with so much pain.

 

I obviously was able to cope and I even found a certain appreciation for the intense emotions I felt (and still feel). It feels like being human again and being able to feel such sadness and loss means I also can feel joy and happiness.

[[...]]

If I had any zopiclone in the house I would probably have taken some.  I had to deal with having a stalker from September of last year, when I was not long off the zopiclone, and this has been a mega stressful experience.  I know I would have given in, so I just don't have any around. 

[[si...]]

I am 16 months off. I just recently threw out all of the benzos I had left, all of the pills and the liquid. It felt really good cleaning out that cabinet of all that crap.

I had forgot how much was stored away because after I jumped I never looked in there again.

But when I cleaned all of that out of my house it felt like a weight was lifted of my shoulders.

It felt really good.