a little over 2 months out still scared

[[Ky...]]

Its been a little over 2 months since i quit. Wow what a horrific experience it has been. Words cannot describe the horror I have felt. I am getting to a point now where some of the physical symptoms are starting to fade into the background but I am still have this looming feeling that this is who i am now and that i will never get better, even though there is part of my mind that can list the ways that i am getting better. What a mind F@#$k. I was able to start watching television again about 2 weeks ago, it is still uncomfortable but i can do it now. Still have this extreme feeling of fear when I am at the store, even though i dont know what that fear is for, but it seems to be fading slowly, a month ago I could only take it for a couple minutes, now its getting better. I still have this tension or pressure in my head which is greatly reduced from what it was, but it is still pretty bad. I also have bad insomnia, it was 1-2 hrs a night and it has improved to about 4-5 hrs a night. I am just wanting to get back to where i was, I never thought i would say i missed work but i really do. Its been 6 months since i had to quit due to this and i am counting the minutes until i think i can stand to make it through an interview and be in an unfamiliar place with out feeling this intense fear, terror, insecurity or whatever it is.

Stay strong everyone, thanks for letting me rant.

[[Da...]]

Hi Kylet, everything you are describing is normal. I remember when I first detoxed 13 months ago and was consumed by the feeling I did not know myself and I was no longer connecting to others I was close to. I did not know it had a name but learned later it is part of DP/DR. The fear and panic in public places. What is happening to you now is you are probably coming out of acute it took me about 60 days to get thru it. Hang in there better days are coming. Keep in mind it is perfectly normal everything you are going thru. I have felt so many times (I still do) that it is going to last forever, there is something different wrong with me then everyone else, I have a mental disorder, I'm going crazy etc etc. Those are all intrusive thoughts and they are also normal. I lost my business as a result and it is really hard to deal with I know. Stick with it things do get better, it takes time.

[[Ex...]]

I went through everything you explained. You will make it through it all. I'm still going through myself, but I'm sure we are all healing up perfectly right now even if it doesn't feel like it.

[[ca...]]

We can ALL relate to what you are experiencing! It seems that when you start feeling a little better, you think you are getting over it. This isn't like getting over a cold or flu virus! That is why it becomes discouraging and down right scarey. Between 1 to 6 months I had times that I thought I was going to black out due to the extreme dizziness and unbalance. I had a hard time going to a McDonalds and picking up a hamburger. I couldn't eat it there! No way! The shaking, panic attacks and 100 other symptoms that was relentless. The key here is learn to be patient! Understand that it is going to take time to heal. Enjoy your windows! When you go into a wave try to occupy your time with a hobby if you can. Take baby steps! It can be rewarding when you break through a barrier. Disturbing things like the news and books and movies that are disturbing in nature really make this withdrawal difficult. Try to avoid these things!