Is anybody angry??

[[ma...]]

I am angry... I did not no, i was on drugs Xanax almost for 15 years. I was to high to no. Now I dont trust any doktor.

[[Sp...]]

I hate doctors too.

[[pu...]]

I am furious.

[[Da...]]

I have had a lot of anger since my detox 13 months ago. Angry with my doctor who prescribed it to me for 15 years, angry at myself for letting it go on for so long and not knowing what would happen when I stopped taking it. I had warning signs I ran out at different times and really wanted to take it fast. I could tell something was going wrong. Angry with other people in my life for reasons that are crazy or stupid. I believe a lot of questioning and self doubt comes along with it too. I think many of us share the angry feelings.

[[oa...]]

Constantly furious. And I mean that as different from "benzo rage", which I've experienced from time-to-time, but not recently. I just now started to compose a list in my head of reasons to be angry and it was too large a project for my immediate time restrictions (got to go run some errands, which is something I can now do without incident 20 months post-benzos, so that's a positive). Maybe I'll try to draft such a list someday if only as a vent for my frustration.

 

 

 

 

[[ca...]]

Before I went through all of this, I was already tired of the medical system and the way patients are being treated. My dad could have lived another 10 years if it wasn't for the medical hacks and the countless prescription that they had him on. I was going to a doctor that advertised being "holistic". I was more concerned about my thyroid when I first saw him. My thyroid was ok but my testosterone was on the bottom side of the scale. He had me on testosterone cream! This was not going as smoothly as one might think. I had to go in every 3 months to have my level tested. One time it was off the charts high. It was no wonder that my head was spinning and heart rate was erratic. This guy also pushed the pharmacy drugs but didn't openly advertise it. I wanted to trust him but in hindsight I wish I had just stayed away. The 2 years that I have had to go through has only added to my mistrust of our medical system. Mad? Damned right I'm mad! More people need to be outright furious!