Depression spiraling and needs encouragement

[[bi...]]

I am sorry to be posting here, but this is one of those days and weeks where I really need to know from people who have been through this that it will be ok. Depression is crippling, sense of total hopelessness and crying for no reason. Dark thoughts are starting to surface. I just need to know that I will make it through this. I miss being my old self and this whole ordeal is taking its toll on my little family. Sleep sucks which does not help. I am a shell of who I used to be. Taper should be done early March 2017 and I am absolutely petrified that once the taper is done I will be worse. Doing all I can to try and hold down my job to support my family. I am 6'4" 280 and crying like a baby. This whole experience is a beast. I am powerless to it. On top of this I also quit drinking 5 months ago and that in itself I hear can cause depression. Double edged sword. God give me the strength to endure this 

[[Tr...]]

So sorry to hear what you're going through. You've been through so much and it's great you're down to where you are. I'm not sure about how much quitting alcohol contributes to depression but drinking too much can cause things to be even worse. Just know that you're brave and can get over this.

 

I don't know if you're seeing a doctor but an antidepressant may help if you're in such a terrible place. It can be rough starting out though, but may help stabilize. It did for me when I was at my worst. You should also consider therapy. I did that too. I met with someone every 2 weeks and don't now how I would have done it without her.

 

Keep coming to this board. I found this community helped when I was going through tough times. Don't be afraid to post here on the board. It can help to get your thoughts out. You might want to consider keeping a journal. You can write about anything, about your memories of good times, things you're concerned about, how you're feeling. I write every day or so and it helps me see through some of my distorted thinking. It can also help you document your symptoms so you can go back and see your progress. Good luck!

[[ho...]]

I get terrible depression too Billy. But it WILL pass! Just keep on going mate and you will get there!! All the best mate! It Will PASS !

 

 

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[[Da...]]

This is an extremely difficult process and insomnia, depression, anxiety and hopelessness goes along with it. I have made it to 13 months after a cold turkey. Nothing about it has been easy but I have started to see some relief from some of the really bad symptoms. If I can do it anybody can. You will make it you just have to hang tough and think about your family, they need you. You can get through it billy, you have a lot of better days coming up.

[[bi...]]

Thank you everyone. I'm losing steam. I'm trying to hold down a full time job to support my family. Just developed RLS from the withdrawl probably. So much adding to the depression including the anxiety and unrelenting insomnia. I am not sure I have the strength to make it. It's been almost a year of hell with no end in sight. God give me the strength to get through this. Crying like a baby now in my office with my door shut so nobody sees me  :'(

[[Ha...]]

This sounds so familiar.  I'm a full time firefighter and nothing used to phase me until this shit.  I have many days where I just break down in tears.  It's very tough to  to keep it together day in and day out.  We just have to keep fighting.

[[bi...]]

This sounds so familiar.  I'm a full time firefighter and nothing used to phase me until this shit.  I have many days where I just break down in tears.  It's very tough to  to keep it together day in and day out.  We just have to keep fighting.

 

It helps to know I am not alone Hamm. You still get these feelings even after jumping Feb '16? To think that Even when I am done with the taper, I have to deal with this $%^& is overwhelming!

[[Si...]]

Feel free to post any time bud. That's what this place is for. Ive been having some depression issuee lately too. Really just nothing fun about this at all.

[[Ha...]]

I had a setback in august following surgery.  I ended up going back on for about a week.  Post surgery I was having severe panic attacks so I had probly 5-7 doses of Valium and Ativan while in the hospital.  While I didn't go back into a full withdrawl the mental stuff has popped back up.  Plus I made the mistake of drinking heavily during the holidays which threw me through a loop.  But I know what I have to do to get through.  You will too!  When I'm in a bad way way I just remind myself that it's only temporary, and many have gone through it.  I worked through the absolute peak of my withdrawl which was hell, so I know I can make it through these waves that come about.