INSOMNIA awful since reducing.. need ADVICE/ENCOURAGEMENT PLEASE

[[...]]

HI all,

 

I'm feeling sooo very desperate atm and need some enouragement. Since coming off .2mg Ativan about a week ago (crossed over to 2mg dose of valium) my insomnia has become worse with less good-ish days of sleep and more bad days of only sleeping a few hours or more. Last night (as far as i can tell) i didn't sleep at all. the dose i am taking is not really effective anymore and i do intend to reduce it again at some stage soon.. i been on meds for around 11 weeks total now (see signature)

 

the most troubling symptom for me (and i know others experience this too), is being about to fall asleep but then having a surge of adrenaline prevent me from dropping off (with rapid breathing, sense of panic, heart racing etc..). the worst thing about it is that it happens over and over again.. i mean not just once or twice but continuous. do others experience this?? sometimes people say if you can't sleep then rest is best thing.. thing is.. this is NOT restful and feels more like torture because my body is constantly saying sleep but my brain says NO!! when this happens i try to be accepting, use mindfulness, tell myself it's ok, deep breathe etc.. but nothing works - it just keeps happening again and again.. now not every night is like this - some nights this happens far less and i am able to get some sleep (tho very broken)..

 

I suppose it's gonna take time for my brain to re-adjust but in the meantime what do i do?? i am going to try melatonin (but have heard mixed reports re that..), remeron has been suggested but that is an anti-depressant and i am not keen to go on that due to possibility of dependence/withdrawal again and also worsening tinnitus.. i do take OTC antihistamine from time to time - took full rec dose last night but didn't work.. i am loathe to updose my valium as the updose would have to be considerably large to be therapeutic and what then?? i would have to do long drawn out taper..?? not keen on that..

 

i have heard that insomnia can be severe as part of withdrawal.. but honestly it is soooo very hard to keep upbeat and optimistic when feeling soo tired.. right atm i feel utterly shattered, depressed, anxious and pretty much hopeless.. i have little confidence that my sleep will recover and that i will get back to being "me". i also have a very intensive job which i think i am going to have to take long leave from as i don't think i can cope..

 

I need some TIPS and words of encouragement from people with (or had) insomnia, especially those who know about this particular aspect of insomnia i have explained.. please be specific about how you deal with that? WILL THIS NIGHTMARE EVER END?? i need to be assured it will..

 

ENCOURAGING RESPONSES ONLY PLEASE

 

Thanks guys!!

 

love and hugs from down under (but soooooo exhausted..) 

 

 

[[me...]]

1966, I have an idea for you to consider--that is--go off of EVERYTHING now. If the Valium is no longer helping you sleep, I don't see the point of taking it. In fact, it may be impeding sleep for you. Even low doses of the z-drugs can do that. Also some of the OTC stuff can impede sleep rather than promoting it. So I'm going to propose what I and other have called "going naked". That is-- you trust in your body to do what it has to do, stay out of the medicine cabinet, and deal with whatever your body decides it needs to do.

 

Your usage is so minor, you aren't going to have protracted withdrawal. Rather as I have pointed out, longer usage results in more dependence and more symptoms. Going naked may be tough for a couple days, but I think you would be surprised how quickly your body can adjust and start to heal. Once that starts to happen and you accept it, the sense of relief and freedom is incredible.

 

Anyway, something to think about. It's tough to be optimistic after a bad night. You'll be amazed at how much better things appear after a few hours of sleep.

[[...]]

ok meowie - i'm gonna try that..

[[ho...]]

1966 melatonin does have benefits for some people. Its a natural chemical that is produced in the body and controls the sleep/ wake cycle so it might be of benefit while you are still in the early days. It doesn't help me all that much but have read quite a few ppl take it with success. But the choice is your of course! All the best!   

[[ho...]]

Also meditation,relaxation and breathing exercises before bed can help.   

[[...]]

thank you hopeful - yes i think i will give this a try, cut out all else as meowie suggests and maybe try just the melatonin - and yes i do all the relaxation stuff.. but i find that the same strategies tend to lose novelty so i try not rely on the same things all the time..

 

 

1966 melatonin does have benefits for some people. Its a natural chemical that is produced in the body and controls the sleep/ wake cycle so it might be of benefit while you are still in the early days. It doesn't help me all that much but have read quite a few ppl take it with success. But the choice is your of course! All the best!   

[[ho...]]

There are lots of cd's on ebay that are for sleep. I have bought a few and they do me some good! 

[[...]]

hi hopeful thanks for that - already have lots of that stuff and have been using regularly..

 

tell me do you have experience of the symptom i am talking about? ie constant surge of adrenaline when about to drop off to sleep?

 

There are lots of cd's on ebay that are for sleep. I have bought a few and they do me some good! 

[[ho...]]

Have had it a few times but not that often.   

[[Qu...]]

Hi!

I think I am totally with meowie on this. Your experience is sounding more and more like mine, and a long taper will just expose you more and more. You are a first time, short term, low dose user, so everything is in your favour at the moment. My withdrawal from 2.5mg valium was short and sharp (I now realise). Taking rescue doses, odd zopiclone, antihistamines, only made it worse and prolonged the pain. I'll pm you...

 

Lots of sympathy

[[...]]

Hi queen - what was the 2.5mg? was the longer acting or shorter acting benzo? i started 1mg Ativan but that is equiv of 10mg longer acting benzo like valium.. ta

 

Hi!

I think I am totally with meowie on this. Your experience is sounding more and more like mine, and a long taper will just expose you more and more. You are a first time, short term, low dose user, so everything is in your favour at the moment. My withdrawal from 2.5mg valium was short and sharp (I now realise). Taking rescue doses, odd zopiclone, antihistamines, only made it worse and prolonged the pain. I'll pm you...

 

Lots of sympathy

[[Qu...]]

Hi 1966, it was the long half life Valium, so it accumulated in my system even though I only took it sparingly. I think ativan has a much shorter half life.

[[te...]]

So sorry to hear about this, 1966! I am glad to see everyone's helpful responses and thoughts.

 

I have totally had those adrenaline surges! In fact, before this all happened, I would fall asleep and wake up 30 minutes later with a jolt and always think I forgot to do something, like take a medication or send an email. It was so strange. It happened every night! At that time it was pre-benzo use so I could fall back asleep. Now it does happen, sometimes my heart races when I want to sleep and I do the mindfulness thing, sometimes it works and sometimes not. Last night my mind kept taking me back to the race I did before and as I would drop off I imagined myself running downhill in the mud again, and jolted myself awake no less than 5x! So frustrating!!!! Our brains are just more active and more sensitive at this point I think. I hope things get better! Keep us in the loop. We are all in this together!!

[[...]]

Thanks for your kind words everyone.. XOX

 

i had a better sleep last night - 5 broken hours but better than nothing and am feeling more positive today..

 

i have also decided to take more time off work in the hope that i begin to stabilise a bit.. going back to work was a big stressor for me as the work is v intense.. so if i can avoid that for a little while longer that is better for me..

 

i have also decided to hold my meds at the current 2mg daily of valium - see how i go after a week and then taper down again.. one thing is for sure i won't be adding to this amount as that will be slippery downward slope i think... i just need to suck up whatever comes my way..

 

i have also started Melaonin - it's apparently quite safe but benefits don't kick in for at least a week so i will see what happens..

 

luv u all XOX

 

 

[[Qu...]]

Hi 1966,

 

Glad you slept better last night  .  Your last post sounds very positive, good to have a clear plan of action. Hope it goes well, xxx

[[te...]]

I think it's great you made the decision to take more time off work. It takes some of the pressure off and you can focus on relaxing and staying calm, which will only help support healing. Let me know how the melatonin helps! I haven't found it particularly helpful, but I never took it consistently. Keep us all posted!

[[...]]

awful sleep again last night - 1.5hours total maybe.. was five broken hours night before which was ok and next day felt good/positive.. then this again..

 

feelings v scared atm as my sleep is averaging 2-3hours a night only.. this is much worse than the 5 hours average was having up to two weeks ago ever since i dropped .200mg of benzo.. down to 2mg valium atm but not helping much.. now a pattern of one night no/little sleep, next night some sleep..

 

feel i can't cope and don't know what to do.. it's so scary having no sleep.. hoping the melatonin will kick in (takes a week) but not confident.. perhaps i need to go on anti depressant with sedative effect but not keen..

 

is this the withdrawals?? i feel like these drugs have destroyed my ability to sleep - and it's only 3months since starting them.. i need to know it will get better.. don't mind if it takes a while but need improvement soon.. how long does it take to get some improvement??

 

feeling devastated and hopeless once more

 

supportive words only

 

XOX

 

[[Qu...]]

Hi 1966,

 

I've sort of replied in some other threads, and pm'd you. You are describing how I was in May. Honestly, by July, I was getting long windows and could already see the light at the end of the tunnel. It has taken time for the sleep to become stable, but this month, January, I am feeling really confident that I can relax and get sleep, even when I have had a bad start or an awakening in the middle of the night.

 

I was scared by the lack of sleep too, really scared! But it's ok, you will be ok. I think the scared feeling might itself be withdrawal, as loss of sleep never worried me before, and I had more than my fair share working in IT. It's just a matter of time. I didn't really try other drugs to help, I just relied on my brain to heal itself.

 

Hope you get a better night tonight xxx

[[...]]

thank you sooo much Queen XOX 

 

Hi 1966,

 

I've sort of replied in some other threads, and pm'd you. You are describing how I was in May. Honestly, by July, I was getting long windows and could already see the light at the end of the tunnel. It has taken time for the sleep to become stable, but this month, January, I am feeling really confident that I can relax and get sleep, even when I have had a bad start or an awakening in the middle of the night.

 

I was scared by the lack of sleep too, really scared! But it's ok, you will be ok. I think the scared feeling might itself be withdrawal, as loss of sleep never worried me before, and I had more than my fair share working in IT. It's just a matter of time. I didn't really try other drugs to help, I just relied on my brain to heal itself.

 

Hope you get a better night tonight xxx