Here it is

[[ho...]]

I'm slowly declining. I think I'm disabled. I want to jump of a bridgeveveryday. The only way I can focuscis is ifcignore my issues. Then it gets worse. The more I go out I feel my perception change. I'm all alone I hate my family I M really stuck ifeel trap0ed I have nowhere to go and this anger I feel on top of my muscle spas is so annoying I want to literally remove my neck muscles and my back mucsles from my body I'm wondering maybe the reason I can't feel emotions pain bcuse I'm in such slphycal pain I talk to myself all day and it worries me I'm ready to die I don't want another pill I'm tired of not breathing and I really hat my family. I really hate where I'm at I feel very dependent because I'm not functioning at all

[[Ca...]]

Hey hodge,

Not sure what to say, but it all sounds like a lot of horrid...

I noticed u dont have a lot in the way of time frames and dosage cuts in ur sig...?

Wondering if u are in accute (too fast in cutting), or maybe quite intolerent to this medication, or perhaps an interaction? -9 times in 10, it will b the simple answer...

-they were just my uneducated guesses... -i mainly just wanted to say, hang in there, and i so hope it gets better real soon... try not to focus on what u have no controll over...

Im sure someone will give u good advice soon...

 

[[...]]

Hodge,

 

I have felt like you and suffer like you, but then I have days that I feel a tiny bit better and know their is hope.  Like the previous buddies said, are you cutting too much too fast. That's what I was doing and I was hinknim in acute which is absolutely horrible!!! But this morning I woke up with a tiny bit of of relief from my physical sxs.  And it helps me keep going.  You also have us your buddies. So please,

fight. Don't let that pill win. Don't let that pill steal your life. I'm praying for you.  For all of us.

[[ho...]]

Honestly I tapped to fas and the hospital cold turkeyed me the rest of the way even when I told them not to take me off Tue bemzo I've been of 3 months

[[pi...]]

I'm slowly declining. I think I'm disabled. I want to jump of a bridgeveveryday. The only way I can focuscis is ifcignore my issues. Then it gets worse. The more I go out I feel my perception change. I'm all alone I hate my family I M really stuck ifeel trap0ed I have nowhere to go and this anger I feel on top of my muscle spas is so annoying I want to literally remove my neck muscles and my back mucsles from my body I'm wondering maybe the reason I can't feel emotions pain bcuse I'm in such slphycal pain I talk to myself all day and it worries me I'm ready to die I don't want another pill I'm tired of not breathing and I really hat my family. I really hate where I'm at I feel very dependent because I'm not functioning at all

 

Hodge,

 

We understand how the symptoms can make us feel hopeless and lost. However, as you've been reminded before, we disallow conversations about self harm on the forum.  This is something we take seriously and wish for our members to seek out appropriate professional help for these thoughts.

 

Although we deeply sympathize with those experiencing suicidal feelings or ideation, to protect the sensitivities of the greater majority of our members - and most importantly, for your own safety - discussions and commentary regarding suicide, suicide ideation, self-harm, or threats of self-harm are not allowed at this forum. If you experience such feelings or thoughts, you must contact your doctor or other suitable healthcare practitioner. You will find more information on our Suicide, Self-Harm & Threatening Behaviour webpage:

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/resources/suicide-self-harm/

 

I will tell you that my physical symptoms were the worse part of my withdrawal. I felt nerve and muscle pain and burning all the time. The only respite I got was during sleep.  Little by little these symptoms eased up and finally went away. These drugs, benzos, are such efficient muscle relaxers that it takes time for the body to learn to relax naturally, without chemical intervention. 

 

Give your system time to heal, distract as much as possible. That is what got me through the worst of times.

 

pianogirl