11 weeks off losing hope total misery! Xanax ruined my life!

[[Ma...]]

Im so very scared and losing hope by the day! Im 11 weeks out today from a CT detox in the hospital in which I spent two weeks. All I can do is set here and rock back and forth on the couch or in my bed in total pain and misery! The worst of it is constant burning, tingling, numbness and pressure in my brain that moves from my forehead to my temples to the top all the way down into my ears and back of my head and neck! It's so bad all I can do is set in the floor and cry or on the couch or in my bed rocking back and forth! Today it's especially bad in my forehead and burning and numbness in the back of my head and neck! It's relentless never ending and no relief. Then there's the constant confusion DP/DR and having one day roll into the next not knowing what I'm doing half the time can't recognize myself in the mirror having to remind myself when I stand up or go to do something of what it is I'm supposed to be doing! It's crazy! And one of the scariest besides the pressure in my head is this constant dark cloud evil intrusive thoughts that are scary and make me feel like I'm losing my mind! I just grab my head with the physical pain and can't even lay down and watch TV without my mind going to a dark place I feel like I'm honestly dying! The only med I'm on now is Zoloft 100mg and honestly the benzo WD is so severe I can't tell what the Zoloft is doing to my brain or if it's not just making it worse! I'm losing hope that I will ever recover and all I see is more pain and suffering ahead! I just don't know what to do?

[[ho...]]

Maize have you thought about reinstating seeing as you are in such a bad way?? I know that sounds crazy but you could reinstate to a longer acting benzo, valium or Librium? I had to reinstate as I felt I was losing my mind and was one step away from a psych unit.

[[Ma...]]

As far as reinstating I think it's too late for that at 11 weeks and I can't see putting another benzo back in my body after all the damage and destruction it has caused and then there's the kindling issue and each subsequent WD being worse no way! I can't handle worse I feel like I'm dying now!

[[Da...]]

Hi MaizeNBlue81, I don't believe you should reinstate, you are going to have to face this now or face it in the future, you might as well get it out of the way now. I know you are miserable and I know why because I have been through the same thing. Nobody but someone who experiences it can understand how truly horrible we feel and that it lasts for months and months of misery. All we can do is ride this out and believe that one day we will wake up and the whole nightmare will be behind us. I think if you hang in there you should start to feel some relief soon as the acute will slow down. All you can do is hang tough and wait it out.

[[Ma...]]

Yeah I'm not reinstating ever! I will never put another benzo back in my body period! I don't even want to be taking this Zoloft but I feel like I'm stuck with it now and don't even really know what it's doing or if it's just really making it worse! I'm trying to hang on and from what I've heard acute WD can last up to 4 months sometimes even longer and I just don't know how much more my mind and body can take?

[[pu...]]

I went off cold turkey as well and I felt the same way you did. THINGS GOT BETTER.

 

When I took zoloft, I think it made things worse. It gave me bad anxiety.

Maybe you should talk to your doctor and taper off the slowly zoloft?

 

 

HANG IN THERE. Like I said I C/T'd too and I felt like you thinking things would NEVER get better but they did.

 

[[Ma...]]

It's just so hard to believe that at this point with my symptoms being so bad and constant with no relief in sight! The worst symptoms by far is the intense never ending pressure burning and numbness in my head and the horrible evil intrusive thoughts have come on strong the last few days almost as bad as it was when I went into the hospital! The physical pain in my brain is unbearable and these thoughts make me feel like I'm losing my mind and going psycho! Such evil horrible things going through my mind it gets to the point it scares me and I have to get up and walk around or go outside and just cry it's so bad! As far as the Zoloft I just don't know what it's doing and I'm worried it's making the thoughts worse and some of the symptoms worse but I also worry about WD and putting my already damaged CNS in more despair! I just don't know what to do and my mind and body can't handle much more!

[[mo...]]

I am 71 days out. And I am finding myself fucked. I can't work. My hands get sweaty. I can't even get out of the house and I feel like I am trapped in my own sick twisted mind. I hate benzos. My life is fucked. I don't know if I will ever be the same again. How could a pill and long term use take this long to feel like a normal human being. I got a call to go on an interview the second I got off the phone my mind went insane. All the symptoms came back. And overwhelmed feeling of anxiety. God help us all.

[[Ma...]]

I understand! I'm 11 weeks off today of being detoxed off .75mg in the hospital and I only took it for 6 months not 6 years! It has completely destroyed my life as I have no quality of life at all and haven't since I went back in to the doctor in may to get back on meds after coming off Prozac in the fall of 2015. In march I started having panic attacks again and being that I was going through a divorce and trying to quit smoking I thought I might need to get back on something to help me through this rough period in my life and instead of these meds helping me they have destroyed my life and left me without any hope at all for a future! I didn't know all this could happen from these drugs and I was honestly taking it for a legitimate reason as I had severe panic attacks since 2012! I wasn't trying to abuse it or use it just to be using it but by the time I realized what these drugs were doing it was to late the damage was already done and I have lost everything! I've been through more in the last year than at any other point in my life and I truly like you don't know if I'll ever smile or laugh or be happy ever again! It's crazy to me that these drugs can do so much damage and cause so much destruction yet doctors are still able to prescribe them not even knowing themselves the damage they can cause! It's been almost 3 months and no improvement in my symptoms and in some cases they gotten worse! That shows you how dangerous these drugs are and the benefits do not outweigh the risk as the doctors try to tell you they do when you ask about side effects and the risk of long term use! I've lost everything my marriage my mind my life and losing more and more hope everyday the old me will ever return!