11 weeks off pure misery and torment getting worse!

[[Ma...]]

Im so very scared and losing hope by the day! Im 11 weeks out today from a CT detox in the hospital in which I spent two weeks. All I can do is set here and rock back and forth on the couch or in my bed in total pain and misery! The worst of it is constant burning, tingling, numbness and pressure in my brain that moves from my forehead to my temples to the top all the way down into my ears and back of my head and neck! It's so bad all I can do is set in the floor and cry or on the couch or in my bed rocking back and forth! Today it's especially bad in my forehead and burning and numbness in the back of my head and neck! It's relentless never ending and no relief. Then there's the constant confusion DP/DR and having one day roll into the next not knowing what I'm doing half the time can't recognize myself in the mirror having to remind myself when I stand up or go to do something of what it is I'm supposed to be doing! It's crazy! And one of the scariest besides the pressure in my head is this constant dark cloud evil intrusive thoughts that are scary and make me feel like I'm losing my mind! I just grab my head with the physical pain and can't even lay down and watch TV without my mind going to a dark place I feel like I'm honestly dying! The only med I'm on now is Zoloft 100mg and honestly the benzo WD is so severe I can't tell what the Zoloft is doing to my brain or if it's not just making it worse! I'm losing hope that I will ever recover and all I see is more pain and suffering ahead! I just don't know what to do?

[[ho...]]

God Maize I so wish I could help you! Is there any support groups you can call such as the Samaritans or something??

[[Ma...]]

Well my sister just suggested I go back to the hospital but all they want to do is look at me like I'm crazy and shove more drugs down my throat which is how I got in this mess with Zoloft and resperdal from the hospital as they blamed my symptoms on OCD and anxiety not benzo WD so no thank you on that one! The problem is no doctor I've talked too or dealt with in the hospital or since and not even my family understands what I'm going through and they just thank I'm crazy. Yet I didn't t have all this before Xanax just painic attacks was the main thing. I mean my sister has been on Xanax for 8 years and has never experienced what I have so she just thinks I'm looney and anyone I talk too doesn't have a clue not even the new doctor I saw yesterday to get my prescription of Zoloft had any idea so I feel like I'm on my own with this misery and torment and no one believes me or understands the hell and torment I have to live through each and everyday! I don't even really understand it I mean you would think after almost 3 months their would be some improvement but no it's just gotten worse with no relief in sight!

[[ho...]]

I dunno what to tell you mate. Just do your best and hand in there. Don't do anything stupid okay??

[[Ma...]]

Yeah I don't either and I'm trying to hang in there and believe that these symptoms will fade and I will recover but it's hard to believe that now and the misery and torment never ends and it doesn't help knowing everyone around you thinks your crazy and no one has a clue about what your going through when you try and tell them!

[[ho...]]

Everyone on here knows u are not crazy!!  We will all try and help as much as possible.

[[ho...]]

Maybe if you let your doc and family read the posts on here then they will believe you?

[[Ma...]]

I actually jus told my sister that very thing that if she didn't believe that these drugs could really do this to people then go on here and look and I even have her my screen name to look for me! I know it's hard for her to understand being she's been on Xanax for 8 years with no ill effects but just like I told her everyone is different and some people really do suffer unbearable torture and pain from these drugs and that the symptoms and suffering are real and causes by the damage the drug does to your brain and gaba receptors and not anxiety and depression causing all this! I even tried to explain to her and the stupid doctors in the hospital that Zoloft and resperdal wasn't gonna help because Zoloft effects serotonin not gaba but again they just blamed my symptoms on OCD and anxiety not benzo WD so I give up trying to explain that my symptoms are real and pure hell and very scary and caused by Xanax and acute benzo WD not anything else!

[[ho...]]

Well hopefully your sister will understand when she reads stuff on here. All the best to you mate.

[[Ma...]]

Yeah I doubt she will even read any of it or even come on this site! I feel like I'm on my own And these symptoms especially the head pressure and the thoughts are off the charts and I'm so scared and losing hope more and more everyday!

[[ho...]]

Please hang in there!

[[Fe...]]

It's amazing how doctors can keep closing the eyes for this kind of drugs. My doc told me this week he can't help me if I don't take them. (He wants me to updose the oxazepam). I tried to explain what I had red in the ashton manual and the things Parker wrote but he just laughed it away. But we are not crazy en we can do this. . You can do this. Take care and hold on

X

[[Ma...]]

Yeah I have lost all faith in doctors especially the so called mental health professionals! I'm sure there are some out there who actually know what they are talking about who have done the research and spent enough time actually getting to know their patients and listening to them to see what is actually going on with the drugs they prescribe but none that I've come across! I feel like I'm totally on my own from this point forward and it's crazy the damage and destruction these drugs have caused! I'm trying to hold on and hang in there but my symptoms are so severe I have no quality of life at all and I'm in constant suffering and torment! The burning, numbness and head pressure is so unbearable I can't hardly get up off the couch or out of my bed and the last two mornings the horrible evil thoughts in my mind have come back with a vengeance and are more than disturbing I feel like I'm losing my mind or becoming psycho! The horrible confusion DP/DR makes you feel like your not even real or in reality anymore and I laid in my bed all night feeling like the walls were caving in around me and I couldn't breath and it really feels like I'm dying! The doctors have no clue and just want to throw more drugs at you hence the Zoloft problem that I now have and no one around me understands at all what I'm going through and just look at me like I'm crazy! I'm so alone and losing hope and don't know what to do? The doctor didn't even want to tell me what to do with the Zoloft basically said here's your scrip do what you want stay or taper it's up to you so I am on my own!

[[...]]

Oh I feel for you MaizenB!

I know about family thinking one is crazy.

My sis took xanax and oxazepam for years and just went off it CT.

She think i'm just being silly with all my WD.

My sis do take alot of other drugs now,serquel, lamictal, cipralex, clonazepam and something I can't remember the name on.

I told her to just stop taking her meds for 5 days then come back and tell me I'm crazy. She hang up on me

I have been where you are when I made my big cut of diazepam. Or very near where you are.

Still a battle every ngle day and night.

 

My husband and one friend support me. My doctor just tell me that I don't have WD now

 

You are NOT crazy.

Hugs

 

 

[[Ma...]]

I'm trying but the pressure burning and numbness in my head is unbearable and the constant confusion DP/DR and horrible evil thoughts is more than I can stand. I honestly feel like I'm dying!!!! I mean 11 weeks and no improvement just getting worse. Now 10 weeks on Zoloft and I don't think it's helped at all just another drug messing with my brain! It's complete torture and torment 24/7!

[[ho...]]

The Zoloft might be making your end worse maize. Ssri antidepressants tend to cause anxiety at first.

[[Ma...]]

I don't know? This is sure torture and torment beyond compare and so vary scary! The worst most consistent symptom is the burning, tingling, numbness and severe pressure in my head that is relentless! I feel like I'm dying!