2 month...I'm not crazy

[[El...]]

  Well I guess it's my turn to flip the coin....head or benzo

Two months, where and how am I? Today I had a nearly wide open window for the first time, people who had read some of my post might remembering I made a post : windows I don't understand them...I do now, thanks to some buddies in here and my condition today, I'm sure I will be more than 50-70% healed one day!

You and I  will be 100% healed and even more strong calm and wise after this journey ends.

I went through taper on my own after I tried a c/t without knowing nothing about a monkeys tale. After the c/t  I searched the internet I got so scared reading about benzos and thought....I gotta get out of this, and fast and tapered 5 mg over 2 1/5 week I think, it went quite ok actually...and the first 3 weeks after jump also, I had waves for 3 days and 50-70% Windows in between who lasted hours or some days, and I thought.. Wauwatosa mazel tov, This will be over soon.... Well some monkeys don't have any tales and is hard to catch and bammmm....there it hit like a bulls wip, a torture of learning how to cope with never ending story of pain and misery. I thought I was loosing my mind, going mad and was sure that I really was mental ill ( I had not found benzo buddies yet) the insomnia, the deep dark depression, racing thoughts and so on. In taper and after the jump I mainly exsperienced physical symptoms, but now the mental ones came. And to me those was the worst and still are to some point.

Well, no more horror stories, I found bb and all the wonderful people in here, and I learned and got secured that... it is really what it is.... benzo w/d and that kinda put a peace in my mind... I could work from that. I'm not crazy 

I always been a  person who is used to handle stuff and issues alone, I'm not much of a "asking for help person" I don't have much family around me, my brother got killed when I was 18 and my sister died in 2014. My mum is ill and my dad lives far away and they're so old that I don't wanna bother them. I had 2-3 friends I've been hanging on to, and they have been all over good. But in the end, a person who has never gone through this will never be able to fully understand what it's like, and it's not fair of me to expect that either. I was happy that they just listened, and they did. B.B. Was the place to get support and as soon as I was secured of my sanity I was able to cope, I now knew what it was, and then I was in control and could start working with it.

Lots of meditation, breathing and tapping....mind working and discipline to learn my mind to not freak out on every symptom. I observe and do nothing about them. ive been walking my dog every day twice and eat healthy and stay calm...caaaaalm 

When I first read a lot in secret here I got freaked about what or not to eat and I nearly starved myself. I now eat a little this and that and follow my body's cravings, though I have taken out sugar and coffee because I felt them triggered me.

I have until yesterday been in a kind of wave/window condition on and of with symptoms disappearing and lessening. I feel improvement everyday, but I think it's essential not to just sit passive and wait for healing, it demands a bit from ourselves to reach the monkeys tale. And damn am I going to swing that monkey when I finally get him.

 

I love u all and we will all be dancing again.

  Warm Danish hugs from Norway 

 

What has helped me:

Benzo buddies

Happy stories

Trust my inner self

Stay calm and observe

My imagination

My dog

Yoga

Relax and listening to my body

Tapping

Breathing

Staying positive (been hard)

Meditations and hypnosis apps

A big smoothie with high hemp protein powder, avocado, banana, lentels, turmeric, black pepper, cooked veggies and coco nut fat. Every night before bedtime has increased my inner tremblings to almost zero.

A dash of cinnamon in my fennel tea every morning has stabilized my blood sugar and reduced my bowel sounds

 

 

[[ma...]]

Hello am fr.o.m. Sweden. Am new here... Nice story.

[[El...]]

Thank you, though today I'm not feeling so good.

And welcome to you, I hope u will get much help in here.

U don't have a signature, so I can't see what u been using and for how long.

I'm Danish but live in Norway 🎈