Struggling to be Benzo Free

[[ka...]]

I have been priscribed some type of Benzo on and off for 30 or more years.

I also have taken others Benzos in my late teens early 20's. I've been taken Xanax under a Dr.'s care for over 10 years. My dose went from about .025 mgs as needed to 2 mgs up to 16mgs a day (as needed ). There were many days I took more and suffered with few pills until my insurance company would agree to fill (usually 5 days before next refill date). Because I was not seeking outside of my prescription I've had a hard time getting help to get off Benzos. My life sucks! Because I have so many good things and good people I don't get to enjoy time with. I will never be able to go back and change what has happened but I've had Dr's, family, friends and even therapists who have quit taking my calls. I am currently in and Out Patient Program and I'm hopeful. They didn't turn me away they didn't say no, they continue to help my progress forward, but I do worry because they don't have many patients who come to them for Benzos. HELP 

[[pi...]]

Hello katwol,

 

Welcome to Benzo Buddies! Oh dear, 16mg of Xanax is such a high dose, dangerously so. I'm so glad you've moved forward towards getting off Xanax.  Right now I believe your focus should be on your withdrawal, that is your first priority. Unfortunately many of us have lost friends, jobs, doctors and such because of these drugs and their withdrawal. Only people who have been through the process really understand.  We get it and you'll get the help you need here on the forum. Once off and healed, that would be the time to reconnect with others.  Theres will be time to enjoy a full benzo free and happy life.

 

Most outpatient facilities really don't understand benzo withdrawal, it's so different from withdrawal from other drugs.  It's really important because of your high dose and length of time on benzos to utilize a slow taper.  Generally a reduction of no more than 5-10% every 10-14 days is suggested. I'll give you a link to the General Taper Plans for additional information.

 

I'll also give you a link to the Ashton Manual, it is an excellent resource about these types of drugs and how to withdraw. It was written by Dr. Heather Ashton, an expert in the field. You might consider printing out the pertinent pages of the manual and taking it to your next appointment.

 

It may take a while to be benzo free, but in my opinion it's well worth the effort.  We'll be here for you as you journey to be benzo free. Please do ask questions, we're here to help.

 

General Taper Plans 

 

The Ashton Manual

 

pianogirl 

 

[[Ch...]]

Although my long term prescribed drug was Clonazepam, my drug of choice has always been Xanax because it works so smoothly and quickly...until it doesn't...then one day you wake up and are taking 16 mg a day....I understand and empathize with you....I hope you read the Ashton manual and that you can get a prescriber to convert you over to Valium and taper VERY slowly from there.

I won't sugar coat it...you have a long path towards freedom, but I promise you that when all is said and done you will shake your head in amazement at the person Benzos had caused you to become and who you are when recovered from them...I wish you well and will follow your posts closely.

[[ka...]]

So Im getting ready to complete my IOP (Intense Outpatient Program) in about 2 weeks. I am very nervous, yet still feeling hopeful. I did not taper, I went to Outpatient November 25, 2016 the day after Thanksgiving. It has been a very rocky road ( complete understatememt!) I was given Phenobarbital 32.4 mg 8 tablets a day to 2 tablets a day (I sometimes forget to take them). So my plan along with the Dr is to be off completly over the next few weeks, I don't really notice when I do or don't take them (I only take them at night when I do). Because when ever my damaged brain (but healing) will allow I read as much as I can obtain and keep hearing the same that cold turkey and Phenobarbital is not the way to go, slow tappering. That didn't seem to be an obtion for me so I am nervous. I was on a high dose for so long and I still look for my bottles of Xanax or Klonopin when ever I'm stressed.

I have nothing negetive to say about the program. Group has been a God send to me. I think I'm addictied! I have never been a great public speaker and my first group session was my first Panick Attack since I was a teen without medication, everyone was awesome and within no time I became a big contributor, less the weeks i could not speek without crying only, it seemed to be my only emotion. But my group rallied around me always!!!! l I had stated in my Introduction they were the only ones not saying NO,  Your Not sick enough, Your not buying drugs off the street, Is this court ordered?,I will call back (sometimes days later) when I check your insurance coverage, or the most common..." Unless your willing to PAY a lot over and above what Insurance is willing to pay." At the point that I was begging for help I would have paid anything!!!! I laugh that a few of these very well known rehabs will call me to see if I'm still interested, I am some how very calm and say, "thanks but no thanks." I can only guess that they are aware of my Insurance coverage. I did have a Dr and a therapist who also bailed on me trying to get help and also have called me almost 4 months later now to see how I'm doing. I'm happy to say I am no longer looking to them for answers. Being in group 5, 4 , 3 and now 2 days a week has helped me understand that like everything Drug Rehab is a business and they all take a lot of calls and have to screen all calls but if there is a need they should meet the demand or be mindful of advertising. I am working on pulling away from the feeling of being a victim because it only slows down my recovery. Having Benzo.

[[ka...]]

Just read my last post and realized I cut off my last sentence. I has written.....Having Benzo's in my life for most of my life has left me broken, I am hoping to spend the next half healing and living!!!!!!