Three months Diclazepam free

[[Da...]]

I never thought I'd be free of the 'designer' Benzo Diclazepam, and I lost a good three years of my life as a slave to this awful substance. I finally left Diclazepam (and all my awful psychological paradoxical side effects), well and truly in the past in September 2016. I will never, ever let another Benzo into my body for as long as I live. At three months, I have reclaimed my mind, the mind that Diclazepam tried to steal from me. I have ideas again, I can plan things again, I am no longer controlled by this garbage.

 

I am finding things very tough with my 50+ physical sxs and it's very hard to be positive and put ideas into practice when you're in the condition I am in. I feel useless as I am pretty much tied to the sofa with severe malaise and lethargy right now. I would however, like to take a moment to tell EVERYONE here that it IS possible to get off, and stay off Benzos, and there is a world beyond them.

 

I did it 

[[Ge...]]

So awesome!  Congrats!!

[[Da...]]

So awesome!  Congrats!!

 

Thanks

 

No going back ever. I know I am nowhere close to being recovered from this mess, I've accepted that, but I am no longer having to buy over 5 packs of this rat poison a week. I often wonder how bad the issue with 'research chemical' Benzos and WD from them is worldwide though. It may be illegal here now but it's still very much 'alive' in other countries, including continental Europe and America. Unlike perhaps someone who was prescribed Benzos by a doctor and became dependent on them, I was never prescribed them, so I can't go back to a doctor and say 'hey, you put me on this stuff, so now help me get off it!'. I only have myself to blame for this. I never thought I'd stop, I thought it would be the death of me. If only I'd known that stopping was the easy part. 

[[So...]]

Keep going DappleApple! Stay strong! It may be a turbulent ride, or maybe not, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Congrats!

[[Da...]]

Keep going DappleApple! Stay strong! It may be a turbulent ride, or maybe not, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Congrats!

 

It sure is. This is the time one really does find out what their anchors in the tempest really are, and what is just driftwood. I've had to give up so much because of this whole mess. I suppose if you didn't lose things, you wouldn't have the chance to find far better ones while you're trying to find them. Sort of like when you misplace an object and land up finding one you never thought you would see again while looking for it and all of a sudden the missing one loses it's appeal lol.

 

 

[[be...]]

You should be really proud of yourself. "You did it" 

[[Da...]]

You should be really proud of yourself. "You did it" 

 

I try to be. I can certainly see how many people struggle with this when they're in the grips of WD though. The thing that's ticking me off right now is people saying 'you look SOOOO much better now you're off those Benzos!', oh if only they knew!. They usually see me when I have pushed myself to the very limits just to be standing in front of them. I don't know how anyone can see me as at all 'well' right now. My eyes look like they're sunken into my head by about three inches, I have huge dark circles around them that outline my entire eye sockets, I am so weak and exhausted I sway if I try to stand or move and I'm always grimacing from the nerve pain and electric shocks that run all through my body.

 

I'd very happily do 10 opiate CTs one after the other than spend another day in Benzo WD. If only I'd known about this before!. If one of the people or doctors I'd tried to tell when I got to the point I was taking Diclazepam every day had known about Benzo WD!. I wish I'd known while my dose was low, and had I been helped sensibly taper off instead of just been told to go away and flounder through it alone, I would have never let my dose go up so high.

 

I was very curious, the effects of these substances intrigued me. I'm the sort of person who won't say I don't like something until I've tried it, well, emphasis on the word 'was'. I had NO idea what was waiting for me after I finally rid myself of this poison. 

 

Before I took Diclazepam, I had something reminiscent of a life, now all I have are regrets.