Hello.

[[Al...]]

Forgot to add that my symptoms come and go over seconds to days which also makes me question if this is w/d or something else..

[[Al...]]

Hello. Im currently withdrawing from benzodiazepines (at the end it was every sort I could get as small doses, but me prescription was 30mg opamox) and lamictal (100mg). My life is really messed up and I really need support and reassurance to help me get over this, if I ever can. I stopped both of the medications cold turkey (pretty xxxxx stupid move, I know, but to be honest I tought I was suffering from anxiety due to the bad relationship I was in) when I separated from my girlfriend ~4 months ago and went through nightmarish acute w/d (which I realized like a month ago, which is also when I took my last dose of benzo) and didnt even realize I was suffering from w/d, just tought the dissociations were some sort of mental breakdown from the separation. My life is a living trainwreck, I feel like I live in the edge of psychosis and depression. I cant even tell you all the symptoms I have, or had, due to the fact that I just cant remember anything. It fells like I live in constant dissociation where I cant even think of what to say or what to write, or even how to do it.

I also stopped smoking pot since it made me dissociate so hard I couldnt focus on walking and thinking of walking at the same time. I dont know if anyone here can help me or reassure me that I can get over this, but I need to try everything before I end this nightmare, because thats what Im going to do if I need to "live" my "life" as it is, since this is no way of living, it feels like death would be a blessing.

Im just so xxxxx terrified of this, everything I try seems to be useless and pointless. To be honest everyhing else also seems useless and pointless, nothing makes sense to me.

 

Im sorry if my text bounces, I really cant focus on anything or even keep my toughts in order.

 

I will try to write a post of my situation to the correct part of the forum when I can, but Im afraid I cant do it in a while since I really am such a mess.

I used to be so damn smart, so damn bright and clear headed and now Im just... Nothing. A ghost of that past me. An empty shell of human.

 

edit: profanity removed

[[Al...]]

My symptoms are purely psychological, except for heart palpations. Thats also the reason I dont even know if this is w/d or am I just going mad or is this something permanent or maybe Im just so depressed I dont even manage To realize it anymore. Nothing makes sense anymore. I cant even cry or be sad, Im just numb to everything, except for irritation and small bursts of anger which fade in matter of minutes back to numbness.

[[pi...]]

Hello Alesii,

 

Welcome to Benzo Buddies! Stopping medications like benzos suddenly, cold turkey, can bring on some very strong symptoms.  Generally, a slow taper is recommended to minimize withdrawal effects. Everything you describe is common, when I was forced to stop Ativan for a medical procedure I felt much the same as yourself. That I had lost my life.  The important thing to remember is that this is temporary and will ease up with time.

 

I'll give you a link to the Cold Turkey, Detox and Rapid Withdrawal Board where you can communication with others in the same situation as yourself.

 

I'll also give you a link to the Ashton Manual. It is an excellent resource about these types of drugs and how to withdraw. It was written by Dr. Heather Ashton, an expert in the field. 

 

No, what you feel is not permanent, the cog fog, the emptiness will disappear with time.  The waxing and waning of symptoms is common for this process.  We'll be happy to support and encourage you as you heal, we understand what you are going through. Please do ask questions, we're here to help.

 

Cold Turkey, Detox & Rapid Withdrawal 

 

The Ashton Manual

 

pianogirl