8 months of recovery from benzos

[[Re...]]

This has been a long scary ride , to say the least. I finally feel like i have some normalcy back into my psyche now . The first 6 months I felt like I was not even in reality at all and everyday felt like I was dying , for the most part. Now I feel I at least have one foot in reality while the other is still stuck in the benzo brain reality. I can definitely see the end of this now, even though I still have a long way to go . (It's not a constant hell anymore.)

 

On another note I am actually sleeping now too. The first six month I was only sleeping 2-3 hours at a time( or less) now I am getting a solid six hours on average sometimes a little bit more. It has made a world of a difference for my mental state and I know it wil speed up recovering my brain. It's also easier for me to talk with people now without having those technical difficulties. So that's really nice ! Ohh, also my waves seem at least 50% less in severity as they were before. All my symptoms seemed to have dampened down in severity .I also have times when i can relax contently which is amazing, since it was never an option during the first six months.

 

My main focus throughout this has been  staying the course and doing what I can to stay sane. Now I am focusing more on my happiness since I feel more sane. I still can't do much outside of the house though I am doing more now. I think we all forget about our happiness during recovery  because it seems non existent. So take some time and do something you enjoy even if your dr/dp or depression seems to be not letting you enjoy it. Just keep doing it and eventually your brain will remember . Baby steps with everything and will alll make it to the other side .

 

 

Thanks for reading

Remy

[[tw...]]

Way to go on 8 months free! Thanks for posting this update. I'm 3 weeks out from jump from K and probably where you were when you say you felt like dying. Your posts are very encouraging to read, as they give me hope. Congratulations on reaching this milestone!

[[Re...]]

Way to go on 8 months free! Thanks for posting this update. I'm 3 weeks out from jump from K and probably where you were when you say you felt like dying. Your posts are very encouraging to read, as they give me hope. Congratulations on reaching this milestone!

 

Thanks Twinkle1705

[[...]]

    Vundabar     

[[Tr...]]

This has been a long scary ride , to say the least. I finally feel like i have some normalcy back into my psyche now . The first 6 months I felt like I was not even in reality at all and everyday felt like I was dying , for the most part. Now I feel I at least have one foot in reality while the other is still stuck in the benzo brain reality. I can definitely see the end of this now, even though I still have a long way to go . (It's not a constant hell anymore.)

 

On another note I am actually sleeping now too. The first six month I was only sleeping 2-3 hours at a time( or less) now I am getting a solid six hours on average sometimes a little bit more. It has made a world of a difference for my mental state and I know it wil speed up recovering my brain. It's also easier for me to talk with people now without having those technical difficulties. So that's really nice ! Ohh, also my waves seem at least 50% less in severity as they were before. All my symptoms seemed to have dampened down in severity .I also have times when i can relax contently which is amazing, since it was never an option during the first six months.

 

My main focus throughout this has been  staying the course and doing what I can to stay sane. Now I am focusing more on my happiness since I feel more sane. I still can't do much outside of the house though I am doing more now. I think we all forget about our happiness during recovery  because it seems non existent. So take some time and do something you enjoy even if your dr/dp or depression seems to be not letting you enjoy it. Just keep doing it and eventually your brain will remember . Baby steps with everything and will alll make it to the other side .

 

 

Thanks for reading

Remy

 

Hi Remy,

 

I am so happy for you. I am happy reading your message knowing that I'll get there slowly. I am 6 and half months out, and I know what you meant by days after days feeling very scared and dying. But lately I feel like I am slowly getting back to normal and one big thing I notice is that the waves are much shorter and easier to copy. I am still struggling with dp/dr, headache, dizziness, intrusive thoughts, and panic attacks. But they are 50% less than before too. So I'm very happy for you and I'm glad your sleep is better. Good job! I am behind you, hopefully feeling better soon.

 

Tracy

[[Re...]]

This has been a long scary ride , to say the least. I finally feel like i have some normalcy back into my psyche now . The first 6 months I felt like I was not even in reality at all and everyday felt like I was dying , for the most part. Now I feel I at least have one foot in reality while the other is still stuck in the benzo brain reality. I can definitely see the end of this now, even though I still have a long way to go . (It's not a constant hell anymore.)

 

On another note I am actually sleeping now too. The first six month I was only sleeping 2-3 hours at a time( or less) now I am getting a solid six hours on average sometimes a little bit more. It has made a world of a difference for my mental state and I know it wil speed up recovering my brain. It's also easier for me to talk with people now without having those technical difficulties. So that's really nice ! Ohh, also my waves seem at least 50% less in severity as they were before. All my symptoms seemed to have dampened down in severity .I also have times when i can relax contently which is amazing, since it was never an option during the first six months.

 

My main focus throughout this has been  staying the course and doing what I can to stay sane. Now I am focusing more on my happiness since I feel more sane. I still can't do much outside of the house though I am doing more now. I think we all forget about our happiness during recovery  because it seems non existent. So take some time and do something you enjoy even if your dr/dp or depression seems to be not letting you enjoy it. Just keep doing it and eventually your brain will remember . Baby steps with everything and will alll make it to the other side .

 

 

Thanks for reading

Remy

 

Hi Remy,

 

I am so happy for you. I am happy reading your message knowing that I'll get there slowly. I am 6 and half months out, and I know what you meant by days after days feeling very scared and dying. But lately I feel like I am slowly getting back to normal and one big thing I notice is that the waves are much shorter and easier to copy. I am still struggling with dp/dr, headache, dizziness, intrusive thoughts, and panic attacks. But they are 50% less than before too. So I'm very happy for you and I'm glad your sleep is better. Good job! I am behind you, hopefully feeling better soon.

 

Tracy

 

Thanks Tracy

 

It sounds like things are looking up for you as well , that is amazing to hear my friend.  Yeah my waves are a whole lot shorter now. They were almost constant before this past month. I would get breaks but it was always a short break. Now i can go days and weeks feeling somewhat decent with  smaller waves and less of those horrific waves. I actually have gone a full month now or more without a horrific wave. 

[[fi...]]

Congratulations on being off the Klonopin.  You're not far behind me.

[[Tr...]]

This has been a long scary ride , to say the least. I finally feel like i have some normalcy back into my psyche now . The first 6 months I felt like I was not even in reality at all and everyday felt like I was dying , for the most part. Now I feel I at least have one foot in reality while the other is still stuck in the benzo brain reality. I can definitely see the end of this now, even though I still have a long way to go . (It's not a constant hell anymore.)

 

On another note I am actually sleeping now too. The first six month I was only sleeping 2-3 hours at a time( or less) now I am getting a solid six hours on average sometimes a little bit more. It has made a world of a difference for my mental state and I know it wil speed up recovering my brain. It's also easier for me to talk with people now without having those technical difficulties. So that's really nice ! Ohh, also my waves seem at least 50% less in severity as they were before. All my symptoms seemed to have dampened down in severity .I also have times when i can relax contently which is amazing, since it was never an option during the first six months.

 

My main focus throughout this has been  staying the course and doing what I can to stay sane. Now I am focusing more on my happiness since I feel more sane. I still can't do much outside of the house though I am doing more now. I think we all forget about our happiness during recovery  because it seems non existent. So take some time and do something you enjoy even if your dr/dp or depression seems to be not letting you enjoy it. Just keep doing it and eventually your brain will remember . Baby steps with everything and will alll make it to the other side .

 

 

Thanks for reading

Remy

 

Hi Remy,

 

I am so happy for you. I am happy reading your message knowing that I'll get there slowly. I am 6 and half months out, and I know what you meant by days after days feeling very scared and dying. But lately I feel like I am slowly getting back to normal and one big thing I notice is that the waves are much shorter and easier to copy. I am still struggling with dp/dr, headache, dizziness, intrusive thoughts, and panic attacks. But they are 50% less than before too. So I'm very happy for you and I'm glad your sleep is better. Good job! I am behind you, hopefully feeling better soon.

 

Tracy

 

Thanks Tracy

 

It sounds like things are looking up for you as well , that is amazing to hear my friend.  Yeah my waves are a whole lot shorter now. They were almost constant before this past month. I would get breaks but it was always a short break. Now i can go days and weeks feeling somewhat decent with  smaller waves and less of those horrific waves. I actually have gone a full month now or more without a horrific wave. 

 

wow a whole month without horrific wave is awesome! honestly my waves are shorter and less intense but i still have them on most days...so maybe when i reach a little further like 7 months it will be better...cross my fingers also i am seeing a psychologist and she has helped somewhat to deal with anxiety in general...so i'm positive and hopeful that i can deal with anxiety when i am' totally healed and don't need to be on benzo or antidepressants, terrible drugs...

[[lo...]]

congrats Remy,

sleep is definitely a huge plus in recovery and now that you getting more, I expect your recovery will really gain speed.

I hope you get more and more of relaxing times, and can write a success story soon

[[be...]]

I can think of a few members who are really struggling in early withdrawal with sleepless night after sleepless night. Thanks for the post. I think it will give other hope. Congrats on the 8 months. You are doing great. You got this :smitten:

[[Re...]]

Thanks Fishguy, Locutusofborg and BRC

[[So...]]

Congrats Remy! 8 months is big. For me, I found every 3 months that healing accelerated. For you, 9 months is right around the corner. Keep going, stay strong; it definitely gets better, even if there are bumps in the road along the way.

[[Re...]]

Congrats Remy! 8 months is big. For me, I found every 3 months that healing accelerated. For you, 9 months is right around the corner. Keep going, stay strong; it definitely gets better, even if there are bumps in the road along the way.

Thanks socal, 8 months does feel big for me. I too have noticed that 3 month healing trend in recovery.

[[Vi...]]

Congratulations to reach 8 months benzo free. Is a huge mile stone and you doing very well. This year is going to be a good year for you!!!! I'm

2 weeks behind you.

I don't have window yet, but my burning headache what is my worst symtoms are 20% better than 2 weeks ago. Until 7 months I was in hell crying every day. I'm NOT crying every day now. Anxiety depression less too. Sleeping good with 3 mg remeron. (Slowly coming off. )Still inner vibration chest pain ( less then before)and huge fear off never going to heal.

Continue healing for you, congratulations again!

 

[[Mb...]]

So good to hear from you Remy. Im so proud of you man. You've done great!

[[Re...]]

So good to hear from you Remy. Im so proud of you man. You've done great!

 

Thank you so much busybee, it's good to hear from you too! I keep my eyes peeled for the people that are around the same timeframe as me. You guys aren't on as much lately which is good. I have been taking breaks from this site as well ,finally . I was on here constantly until recently . Hopefully things are getting better for you too.

[[Re...]]

Congratulations to reach 8 months benzo free. Is a huge mile stone and you doing very well. This year is going to be a good year for you!!!! I'm

2 weeks behind you.

I don't have window yet, but my burning headache what is my worst symtoms are 20% better than 2 weeks ago. Until 7 months I was in hell crying every day. I'm NOT crying every day now. Anxiety depression less too. Sleeping good with 3 mg remeron. (Slowly coming off. )Still inner vibration chest pain ( less then before)and huge fear off never going to heal.

Continue healing for you, congratulations again!

 

Thanks Vic , glad to hear things are improving for you as well. Crying is a good release , but I imagine after everyday it gets old. I cried a lot in my 4 th month it was the worst pain I ever experienced in my entire life. Zoiks