10 weeks off getting worse!

[[Ma...]]

Almost 10 weeks off and this is the worst most miserable Christmas I have ever known! I went to my sisters for Christmas last night and all I could do is set in the floor and cry or get up and pace around the house or go outside to smoke with all the physical pain and pressure in my head and nothing but pure evil intrusive thoughts all around me! I couldn't even watch my kids open there presents! The burning, tingling numbness head in a vice pressure is unbearable everytime I left my eyes or tense my head it's nothing but numbness pain burning pressure in my head that is relentless! The DP/DR, confusion, and horrible evil intrusive thoughts are so scary and unreal I feel like I'm losing my mind having a psycho breakdown or going to die! I feel just as bad now if not worse before I went into the hospital! I feel at my moms feet last night crying begging pleading that I just couldn't take anymore! I woke up this morning with all that pain in my head and nothing but evil all around me and in my mind to the point I'm scared to be by myself or around my family! This is crazy! What's worse is they put me on Zoloft in the hospital and I've been on that now 2 months and I can't tell if it's making it worse and is like to taper off it but I'm worried about WD now to that too!

[[Pr...]]

I'm the same way and I'm 6 months out of a cold t.  I'm just like you it's sick. I'm in bed this christmas crying. So sick from no sleep... what are you going to do.? Stay off?

[[Ma...]]

I don't know this is absolute hell on earth and I'm so sacred! Most say 4-6 weeks for acute then I heard 2-4 months I don't know but I'm past the 2 month point and no relief and no end in sight if not worse! I just can't see going back to the drug that causes all this pain and torture to begin with and they talk about kindling and multiple WD being worse and I can't handle worse! I want to get off Zoloft too but after 2 months I'm worried about WD from that and just making it worse but I don't know if it's not making it worse now? This is crazy and I don't know what to do?

[[Bi...]]

I don't know this is absolute hell on earth and I'm so sacred! Most say 4-6 weeks for acute then I heard 2-4 months I don't know but I'm past the 2 month point and no relief and no end in sight if not worse! I just can't see going back to the drug that causes all this pain and torture to begin with and they talk about kindling and multiple W/D being worse and I can't handle worse! I want to get off Zoloft too but after 2 months I'm worried about WD from that and just making it worse but I don't know if it's not making it worse now? This is crazy and I don't know what to do?

 

Crazy is a two week detox.  I did 3 partial reinstates every time that I knew I just tapered too fast.  No kindling just relief to have a bit of benzo back in my brain to slow it back down. 

2 weeks is basically a C/T and it takes 200% longer to heal from that kind of brain shock, I know sicne I lived it and come back from it.  It is never too late to taper slow and proper.  Odds are the lack of benzo has got you so paranoid you will keep on making bad choices. 

I reinstated after 6 months off and it was the BEST choice in my life!  Now I am doing 80% better.

Do not let the horror stories get to you.  If it were me I'd take enough benzo to mellow out and enjoy the holiday and my kids and start on a new plan tomorrow.

[[Ma...]]

Well I just can't see going back to the drug that did this to me! But then again I am so miserable and literally feel like I'm dying with all the physical pain in my head and the emotional symptoms I feel like I'm having a psycho breakdown and losing complete touch with all reality! This is crazy and I try to destract myself but nothing helps just total misery and pain it's so scary and I know I can't take this another 4 months or more! And I still have to decide what to do about this Zoloft mess!

[[Oo...]]

I am in the same boat, same symptoms, 21 months off.....what a hell ! This is pure horror that seems to have no end 😢😢😢

[[Bi...]]

I am in the same boat, same symptoms, 21 months off.....what a hell ! This is pure horror that seems to have no end 😢😢😢

 

 

This website must stay positive for it to work.  Most people do heal.  On the other hand I know a hand full of people that had to go reinstate and some of them even 5 years post jump.

 

if you have a defective gene at GABRG3 on the 15th chromosome you could be going through the same hell some alcoholics go through and these people have just never recovered after years of abstinence.  A 100% success rate is unrealistic.

They are finally given benzo's for life and they stabilize and go on to live happy lives.  You try your best and your body and mind will give you a clear answer one way or another.  At least you know you gave it your best shot.

 

There is a test for this GABRG3 gene. If you test positive you have decisions to make.

Benzo's do the same damage to gene GABRG3 as alcohol and the brain just can't build enough new pathways to fix it. The old gabaA pathways literally vanish so there is nothing left to heal. Some people get lucky and the brain just makes the existing gabaA pathways stronger but for people with the GABRG3 gene they are just out of luck.  Get tested and know for sure.

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=chromosome+15+alcoholic+gene&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8

[[ke...]]

Well I just can't see going back to the drug that did this to me! But then again I am so miserable and literally feel like I'm dying with all the physical pain in my head and the emotional symptoms I feel like I'm having a psycho breakdown and losing complete touch with all reality! This is crazy and I try to destract myself but nothing helps just total misery and pain it's so scary and I know I can't take this another 4 months or more! And I still have to decide what to do about this Zoloft mess!

 

Don't be so quick to blame these symptoms on the Zoloft. More likely you are in a holiday induced stress wave. You will probably feel better if you let yourself chill a bit.

[[ke...]]

I am in the same boat, same symptoms, 21 months off.....what a hell ! This is pure horror that seems to have no end 😢😢😢

 

 

This website must stay positive for it to work.  Most people do heal.  On the other hand I know a hand full of people that had to go reinstate and some of them even 5 years post jump.

 

if you have a defective gene at GABRG3 on the 15th chromosome you could be going through the same hell some alcoholics go through and these people have just never recovered after years of abstinence.  A 100% success rate is unrealistic.

They are finally given benzo's for life and they stabilize and go on to live happy lives.  You try your best and your body and mind will give you a clear answer one way or another.  At least you know you gave it your best shot.

 

There is a test for this GABRG3 gene. If you test positive you have decisions to make.

Benzo's do the same damage to gene GABRG3 as alcohol and the brain just can't build enough new pathways to fix it. The old gabaA pathways literally vanish so there is nothing left to heal. Some people get lucky and the brain just makes the existing gabaA pathways stronger but for people with the GABRG3 gene they are just out of luck.  Get tested and know for sure.

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=chromosome+15+alcoholic+gene&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8

 

This is the stuff that promotes hypochondria.

[[Ma...]]

Yeah that's kind what I said! As far as the Zoloft it's just hard to tell what it's doing cause the benzo WD is so horrible and intense as I'm still in acute WS after 11 weeks and the head pressure burning numbness in my brain I now is benzo WD but with the Zoloft I just wander if it isn't making the mental symptoms worse?

[[...]]

Hello Im so sorry for your suffering.  I to c/t but it was four and a half years ago.  I actually remember that xmas all those years ago when I was in hospital for ten weeks.  It was horrible I couldnt buy my kids presents or anything my ex had to do it all and my mum came and got me and bought me home for xmas lunch honestly I cant even remember the details.  Please believe me when I say you would be still in acute withdrawal.  Thats exactly where you are at everyone can list oh it lasts for however many months but as you can see everyone is different in withdrawal and the cold turkey is the most brutal of them all. 

 

Trust me when I say it can take a long time and I just cant tell you how long its a horrific process but one you have to just keep going through to survive.  It seriously DOES get better but its just a time thing.  You just have to hang on and read and read the success stories and keep going.  When you are in the depths of despair its hard to believe you will ever feel any relief from this crap but you do.  Its all true you will recover from this to where you are functioning again.  Just stay on the boards and get through the days as you can.  pace cry scream do whatever it takes to get through minute by minute hour by hour. 

 

please take care of yourself your family needs you.  There will be other christmases to enjoy believe in the process that your brain can indeed heal itself.

 

Lizzy x

[[Ma...]]

Yeah this was the worst Christmas I have ever known and it hasn't got much better since! The symptoms are relentless and never end and it is hard to imagine being health again or ever recovering cause I've been in this torture now so long I don't even remember what it was like to be normal and healthy! I just want my life back and the suffering never ends and hope seems like just a word at this point and the bad thing is this is not the only heath concern I have so tons more going and I can't even hardly function! I do know I'm still in acute WD with no end in sight and the Zoloft is making me crazy worrying about what it's doing to my brain and having to WD from that it's so very scary and horrible and I will never forget this past Christmas it was horrible!

[[...]]

You sound so much like me years ago but its not true you are not crazy and I said all the same stuff.  I did have an old account on bb with all my suffering I really wish I hadnt cancelled so you could read it.  I used to say im brain damaged ill never be better etc but that is what benzo withdrawal will tell you its all lies.  I really cant comment on your a/d but trust me your withdrawal is real and it is hell and Im sorry you are going through it. xx

[[Ma...]]

Thank you and everyone keeps saying you will heal and eventually get better but it's hard to imagine right now when the symptoms are so severe and knowing you've been off the drug for 11 weeks with no improvement at all! It just really is hard I mean you would think that after almost 3 months there would be some sign of improvement but it's just as bad if not worse and then there's the Zoloft and that just makes it that much more worse!

[[...]]

Im sorry but the healing is a very very slow process and I know the pain your in however it was months before I even got a glimpse of relief and everyone was talking about the waves and windows and im like omg there are only waves i just sat in a corner and screamed and cried non stop for months.  I will give you a ray of light though and let you know that just because you cold turkeyed doesnt mean you will be protracted others who have done a taper still can suffer as well its just that the acute for cold turkey is so extreme.  hang tight. 

[[rm...]]

It doesn't seem like tapering is less hellish than cold turkey for most people.  And I can't taper.  So.... Lol.