Worried about my symptoms after a rapid taper

[[Me...]]

Hey guys, I hope everyone is doing well.

 

So, I originally took 1mg or Lorazapam for about 6 months and my doctor told me I would be totally fine coming off it without a taper. So.. I figured I was on the safe side when I cut to .5 for a week then .25 then jumped. Boy, I never felt anxiety and panic like I did the first couple days, I went to the ER and almost put myself into a clinic because my depression and anxiety was so out of control.

 

Fast forward 3 weeks and Im almost a month out. My main symptoms right now are depression, anxiety especially in the mornings and from what i think is probably depersonalization? I also am having vision problems where computer monitors are really hard for me to focus on and I see floaters every once in a while. I try to concentrate on a video game to keep my mind off things but its really hard with the monitor. Seems like I cant focus like I used to. Things are borderline tolerable for me. I have really good times and really bad times. Im sleeping a little bit better but Im just so nervous about these symptoms.

 

I am not the person to take medications as am a very healthy person, and my doctor originally prescribed them for anxiety and panic attacks. I guess I just need some help and guidance to push me through this. I have a 2 year old and It makes me sad when the dp kicks in because I feel like I am not in the moment. Is this normal? I just fear that I caused some permanent damage and I am angry with my doctors. Lately, I have been trying to work out every day and getting to work when I can. I had to withdraw from my semester because the panic was so bad at the beginning that I couldnt even drive. I still havent driven yet. I pray every night and I have never been depressed until coming off this medication. Please give me some advice as how I can remain strong for my family through these hard times. I love you all and I will pray for every single one of you tonight. Thank you.