The Lord has humbled me!!

[[Co...]]

situations have changed dramatically since i last posted.

 

I am Coyote, a lone wolf. alone because i let my sin get me instead of seeking The Lord. now don't get me wrong whatever your beliefs doesn;t matter to me. I am here for support and help.

 

My marriage since 3 years ago has slowly declined. I thought getting on suboxone again would make me "normal". Bad Idea!!! i eventually saw a Dr. through someone at the clinic who went to him. He is known as the "benzo king". Even by my sub doc.

 

My dilemma… I take prescribed benzo medications and RC benzo medications, because i wanted off the Sub. But i only added more demons to my turmoil. I was taking 2 Clonazepam, and a Restoril a day/night, then i discovered RC benzos. All of them! Clonazolam is the best one so far. I started drinking, because of it i am now facing a year separation from my wife and 2 year old daughter. She turned 2 the 10 days ago. i warn all who choose this path don't!!!!! I'm in too deep. I went to detox for alcohol but still take the benzos, (clonazepam, clonaolam, flubromazolam and nifoipam). not heavily. Just to sleep and make it by.

 

As of today I live in a 4 bedroom house, alone…. i sleep in the guest bed out of respect. i love my family! i will not harm them at all ever! I am using the benzos and something old i had called enhanced kratom to wean my sub dose to 2mg. So far i went 34 hours before taking a 2mg sub. I still can't sleep. tomorrow i see my sub dr. He now is aware of my alcohol problem, but already knew of my prescribed benzos. not the "others". I take baclofen which is VERY helpful in keeping me away from benzo and sub use. The VA gave it to me. I am going to see my normal dr in a week to see if i can get some clonodine, and Baclofen (higher dose)-I have chronic back pain. L4/5 disk. Baclofen is the only non narcotic, non benzo thing thats ever helped. In fact its been a Godsend to help me lower all my usage.

 

Anyway, I am Coyote (the Lone Wolf) Im fighting with The Lord's help, for my family back, and me back. Its hard. I have bad days and good days, i work non-stop. last week 62 hours. today 11. I know this may seem backwards but i need off the Sub first, before i tackle the benzo problem. So hello again everyone.

 

CS

[[Co...]]

Also i weep nightly and pray The Lord bring me to peace, and bring my family home. I don't feel like i have a home. Though me and my wife own this one. Material possessions are nothing!!!!!!! I'd be clean, homeless and with my family, than with all this! To see my daughter smile, laugh, my wife's beautiful face again, that's whats important. What makes this hard is I have no support, but from God. no family, a few "friends"-not drug users. and thats all. No one visits or cares. Thats how i feel. Sorry but it hurts.

[[co...]]

Are you still married?

[[yy...]]

Oh, Dear Brother.

 

Stark, it says to weep with those that weep.  I am weeping with you in my heart.  I am soooooooooooooo sorry. 

 

"I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten... Joel 2:25

 

I just lifted you up in prayer.

[[me...]]

Hello, this is a reminder that we do not allow religious discussion on the open forum.  However, we do have a private Faith board, where religion and prayer discussions are welcomed.  Here's how to access it:

 

Accessing the Faith-based Support Board

 

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Profile >> Modify Profile (from the lower menu bar) >> Group Membership >> 'Faith-based Support' >> click 'Request Membership >> add a reason for joining the group in the 'Request Group Membership' box (no detailed explanation required) >> click 'Submit Request'.

 

[[Co...]]

confused1-I am still married. Our beliefs prevent divorce unless one commits adultery. I haven't, and i know my wife hasn't. She jet up and left. The only time i can see my daughter is on Saturdays at a center. This week i will be prepared. i am gathering all my daughter's clothes, most toys, my wife's clothes and makeup kit. I love her and my daughter. This is an unheard of situation. I've never heard a story where the man is stuck in a co-owned home, while the wife and child is (undisclosed)…. i have no idea where they are.

 

yyeehhaaww- thank you i am going to bed, its no coincidence that i just heard a sermon on locusts hours ago while driving home. . Your response has triggered such emotion in my heart. It's good to find a brother in Christ. God Bless you, thank you for your prayers.

 

Goodnight, i pray and wish the best for you both!

 

 

[[...]]

Stay focused on your cause to get well. You are going to make it to the other side. Nothing worthwhile

Comes easy. We all have trails in life and thus ones yours. I will keep you in my prayers.

[[be...]]

I imagine the alcohol withdrawal is still playing a role. I'm sorry about your family though. It's very hard on them as it is us. You may very well in part have post alcohol withdrawal syndrome. I wish you the best but can't and won't get into religion with you except to say " god helps those who help themselves ". This motivates me anyway. Even those who have no religious beliefs are aware they need to help themselves as much as possible because no one else can help otherwise. Best of luck. B