5 weeks out...my progress!

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Well it’s been 5 weeks now since my jump date and it’s the best feeling to know that even though I was afraid of what the withdrawal symptoms would be after, it actually hasn’t been too bad. I’ve had many symptoms but I decided to myself that they are all temporary and it would be all worth enduring if it meant being off clonazepam.

 

I haven’t been on the forum as often as when I was on clonazepam and tapering as that was the time I had so many questions so….Thank you all for making that time more bearable!!!! But Post jump it was worth my healing to try and not obsess over every symptom I was feeling and by minimizing it I didn’t give it power. I wanted to move on and start living my life so I've been pouring myself into working out daily again, getting back to yoga and swimming, school, and being more productive around the house. Now I hope to find a part time job soon as I had to quit my job earlier this summer when going through AD withdrawal (still am) and was putting it off until I was off clonazepam.

 

I initially went on clonazepam for sleep and was on it for 10 weeks total (including a 4 week aggressive taper) I needed to come off it after noticing some paradoxical effects of myoclonic jerks and spasms into week 5. So let me first highlight those two reasons for going on and off clonazepam:

 

Myoclonic jerks and muscle spasms: Since jump date these have subsided (yah!) I don’t get any more of those muscle spasm movements even after a hard workout at the gym. The jerks are only on occasion when just falling asleep and even then it’s just a small body movement. This makes me hopeful for all of you that suffer from this that it will subside or even go away once you are off benzos.

 

Sleep: I used mirtazapine for tapering off clonazepam and with it’s current use I get better sleep on it then I did with clonazepam. I never used to feel like I had REM with clonaz but do with mirtazapine.  When I was tapering clonaz every time I made a cut, sleep was affected, but would resume after 2-3 days and then I would press on with another cut after a few days. The first week post jump was a little rocky as well but thank goodness for mirtazapine as that was a cushion for me getting off clonazepam and still get sleep. I would get longer stretches of sleep (7-8 hrs) not being on clonazepam.  I have been on a steady taper of mirtazapine since 3 weeks ago but still get 7-8 hrs of sleep even as I taper.

 

Some other symptoms of improvement worth mentioning:

 

Jerky arm and shoulder movements: Trying to control the computer mouse sometimes it was hard to make a smooth move as my arm would kind of jerk forward. Also, if I tried to soften my shoulders downward away from my ears when meditating it would be a little jerky rather than a smooth move. These have all gone away!!!!

 

Walking: I noticed that I would walk a little funny after a couple weeks past my jump date. It was like I had lost some proprioception in my left foot. I could still walk but always felt like if I didn’t swing my left foot out a little I would trip over my right foot even if that wasn’t the case. I started to be conscious of it and made more attempts to straighten my walk, exercise my leg muscles and trust that I wouldn’t trip. Since 4 days ago my walking feels stronger and I feel like my proprioception has returned.

 

menstrual cycle: didn't get my period for entire time on clonazepam and then 1 week after jump date...BAMMM! In fact 2x in this past month (Guess my body needed to catch up). Some may think it's a blessing but not getting it during that time made me really appreciate this part of being a woman.

 

Night sweats: I still get this almost nightly. At first I thought it was due to tapering off the clonazepam but now I’m thinking it could be the mirtazapine as it started happening as soon as I introduced mirtazapine to the mix. Also, I haven’t seen any lessening of this symptom being 5 weeks post jump. So this is another reason I am steadily tapering off mirtazapine as well.

 

 

I still have some other numbness and tingling going on but this could all still be from my AD withdrawal attempt this past summer. Therefore I just wanted to mention the symptoms I know were clonazepam related.  Overall, it’s been very optimistic for me. I can now say I’ve learned so much in the past couple months about benzos and AD’s in general. As mentioned, I probably won’t be on the forum very much now but will check in every so often to offer support to others topics and posts as many of you were there for me during my time of need:) Please feel free to PM me if needed. I hope to give another positive update when enough time has passed.

 

Everyone Please keep trekking forward. You are worth the fight!!!!!

Thank you Benzo Buddies for your ongoing support! :thumbsup:

 

 

Psalm 91

 

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It sounds like great progress in five weeks! Congrats :smitten:

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thanks BRC. Still a long road ahead with other symptoms but definitely great progress with those mentioned.

[[Sh...]]

Sounds like you are almost there!  I am so happy for you.  Thank you so much for coming back to share the good news.  Wishing you well on the rest of your healing journey.

 

She

 

 

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SWM, looks like you're doing quite well yourself