stress-triggered wave

[[1o...]]

My taper is down a bit but today is plain awful. There was a death in the family and that is a real test of holding back on my benzo. I went ahead and took the 0.5 now instead of waiting until near time for bed. I feel the stress and toll it's taken on everyone. It was an uncle of mine so my father is upset. He lost another brother just 8 months earlier but he was closer to this one. This stress has produced aches and pains all over me. I wanna cry not just for this sad loss but for not having the med at the amount I want to take to calm down. This is hell. I feel everything emotionally, ten times worse. Been on this med so long that  my body does not know how to calm itself.

[[1o...]]

Plus this morning before waking up, I had a bad dream about evil spirits. I woke up just about to have waves of anxiety attacks. So I took my morning 0.5 earlier than usual. I don't watch scary movies like that so I don't know why I drempt  that.

[[ti...]]

I am so sorry for your loss.  Good for you for not taking any more of your benzo.  I have had stress that increased my symtoms.  I am trying to substitute herbs.  But yep, you are so right your body has no way whatsoever to deal with this.  Go ahead and have yourself a good scream or cry or whatever relieves the tension