Clonazepam after Sexual Assault

[[Dr...]]

Hi. I've was prescribed Clonazepam (1 mg 2x per day) about 3 years ago after a night home invasion sexual assault. I couldn't leave my home (even though it happened in my home, I often couldn't physically get myself to leave after, because anxiety is TOTALLY rational). I didn't want to leave my bed. When I did leave, I had trouble exiting my car. I couldn't sleep at night, but I wanted to sleep all day. My life would have ended except for my mom's "tough love". She would physically drag me out of bed, make me go to work (I own and operate a business and have to be there every day), and I have children I need to care for.

 

So... I was prescribed Clonazepam. I had no idea at the time how addictive it was and how hard it would be to kick. I want to be upset that I wasn't warned, but to be honest, I needed it at the time. I don't want to need it anymore.

 

Over the past two years I cut from 2 mg per day down to 1 mg at bed time.

Over the past 6 months I cut from 1mg to .5mg.

Over the past two months I have been working on cutting from .5mg to .25mg.

I'm having trouble making the final jump from there.

 

I didn't really have too much trouble until reducing from .5mg to .25mg. This is the point were I started recognizing my symptoms as being withdrawal. Actually, my fiancé's brother pointed it out, or I may still just think I'm going nuts. I started researching and here I am...

 

I'm crying a lot. I'm irrationally and suddenly angry in momentary spurts. I can't stand hearing people chew.

I'm working on "manually overriding" irrational and negative thoughts like "My life sucks" or "I want to die" and etc with more realistic and positive thoughts. Morning anxiety is horrible. My alarm clock triggers panic attacks. I've tried setting different tones, but it doesn't help.

 

I feel sick, my body hurts, I feel toxic. The absolute worst is that I have HEADACHES that last for days and do not go away. Light sensitivity, sounds irritate me, it's in and behind my eyes, in my neck, in my shoulders. This headache is the living worst. No amount of Tylenol or Ibuprofen helps. My doctor believes the headaches to be anxiety based and wanted to add more anxiety meds. I filled the prescription for Propranolol 40mg 2x per day) but I have not taken it, and have chosen not to. I do not want to switch from one addiction to another (besides that he wants taking this on top of Clonazepam).

 

I fear not being able to sleep, but so far that has not been my reality. I wake up several times during the night, but I seem to be able to fall back asleep reasonably. I'm afraid that will change when I make the jump.

 

So, that's my introduction. Thanks for having me and for any advice.

[[ma...]]

Hi  Drifting2sleep Welcome to Benzobuddies

 

I am so sad for what you went through.  Words fail me to describe the person who did that to you and I can’t begin to imagine how it has affected you.  Your Mom sounds amazing!  Well done to you for getting yourself through it all and taking care of children, you’re a brave girl!

 

It’s always very tough at the low doses,  you might want to consider  the titration method if you wanted to slow it down.  The general recommendation is to taper no more than 5-10% every 10-14 days.  We have a great community here, our members  will be willing to share their experiences with you. 

 

Are you familiar with The  Ashton Manual  is an excellent resource for information about these medications and gives a lot of information about withdrawal/tapering. 

 

Here are some helpful links:

 

The Ashton Manual. 

 

General Taper Plans

 

Withdrawal Support

 

The Klonopin Klub

 

If you would be so kind as to add a signature (history of meds/doses etc) it will help members give you relevant advice To do this,  Click on 'Profile' then 'Account Settings', Then 'Modify Profile', in the drop-down list click 'Forum Profile'. From that page, scroll down almost to the bottom and type in your info in the Signature box. Make sure and click 'Change Profile' at the bottom.

 

Welcome aboard

 

Magrita

 

 

[[Dr...]]

Thank you for your kindness.

 

I have added the signature with my med history.

I am not familiar with those things and am eager to read the links you provided.

 

Until I tried to cut from .5mg to .25mg I wasn't aware how difficult this was going to be. I didn't even know what benzodiazapines were, much less that the medication I had been taking for 3 years was one. I mentioned trying to cut down my medication to my fiancé's brother and was jarred by his level of concern, leading me here. I hadn't made the connections between reducing my medication and all the symptoms I was experiencing. I thought something was seriously going wrong with me, or that I was crazy. I'm happy to find out I am not crazy and not alone.

 

Thank you again.

[[ne...]]

HI, my heart goes out to you and I understand your symptoms all too well.

 

I can share the propranolol is not addictive and will help regulate heart rate and an off label side effect is reducing anxiety. I've taken in the past and stopped without any issues. I'm not taking it now as my anxiety has lifted mostly so it's one less thing.  I think if you do some research on it, you may find some peace in taking it short term to see if it helps. My understanding is they discovered it worked as many in symphonies who took it, lost performance anxiety issues.

 

I also found these links to be incredibly beneficial to get rid of the fear in withdrawal.

 

What is happening to us:

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=66397.0

 

Layman's Guide

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=77803.msg1026651#msg1026651

 

[[me...]]

Hello,

 

I am so, so sorry to hear what happened to you.  My heart goes out to you.  I was just talking to my 18 yr old daughter  the other day, about how sad it is that women have to constantly be on guard when out that a man may attack them.  Here, it happened  in your own home.  I will pray for you dear.  Healing from benzos is a long process.  There are so many mental and physical symptoms, but it does get better.  You won't be like this forever, even though it seems like it.  Take it one day at a time.  I am 18 months out and the majority of my symptoms are gone.

 

((Hugs))