Feel like poo...didn't know what to do.

[Guest [...]]

Last night was rough. 2 days and nights since my last dose of.5 MG of generic Ativan. Tried to sleep, my mind raced. All over body twitching, legs and arms sporadically jerking.  Severe panic and anxiety, not wanting to be alone. Husband works overnights.  I just wanted to be comforted. My kiddo, who is only a tiny bit aware of my anxiety and issue, thinking I was "sick" climbed into bed with me, which gave me a little comfort (my kiddo usually isn't a crutch, but last night needed just to know someone was there). However by about 11pm I was spiraling with all that then the headaches and nausea set in again. Despite taking gabapentin for some neurological pain,  I still hurt. So here I was, sleepy, hurting, panic and anxiety, Jerky and twitching. And I caved. Took a dose of the Ativan. Slept until about 3:30 am my time. Here I am up, still sleepy,  but some of the things going on resided.  Guess I would have slept better, but now the anxiety weighs on me more about what I did. I know I need to taper, but I know that when I go to the doctor early next week he probably won't write a new script and I will be forced to go cold anyway. I tried to alleviate the symptoms through mindfulness and meditation...honestly I get so agitated that it doesn't work. I have always been faithful in God, but even praying and reading the Bible is hard.

I feel like poo this morning, especially since I dosed last night.

Will this ever end?

I know I was given this for anxiety a few month ago after bad experiences with zoloft and trazadone...but what kind of hell did I create by using this little white pill as prescribed the someone as my doctor who I trusted...

And most of all...what have I done by asking for a refill on a pill that I didn't know would harm me if taken for a three month span daily...

If I only had known....

[[Da...]]

I know how you feel and it is rough. My doctor prescribed it to me for 15 years. It has caused me to suffer and deal with extreme anxiety, cognitive issues, DR/DP, and depression. He never warned me at all that there was even a chance of this happening. It sucks. All we can do is get through this as much as possible.

[[fr...]]

Pumpkin2005

 

Go easy on yourself and don't dwell on the fact your body needed to take a rescue pill. It happened, now focus on a good tapering plan moving forward

 

The first two weeks for me after I quit cold turkey were aweful as well. At nine weeks today, symptoms are much better and you learn to cope everyday. It's a process, but one I'm confident you'll over come

 

Keep battling

 

 

[Guest [...]]

Thanks frehley! I keep telling myself that it is such a small dose of Ativan compared to others and a shorter period of use (90 days as of Oct. that I might have it easier than others. Every uncomfortable feeling I am having means that my body is a step closer to healing. Take it as it comes.  I am hopeful though that maybe just going cold turkey might bring on the symptoms of withdrawal quicker, I will taper until the ones I have left are gone. I see my doctor on Tuesday, and still up in the air on how he may react when I tell him I think I am dependent. Or not and just ask for a few pills for tapering. So up in the air!

[[fr...]]

The strategy of cold turkey equating to quicker healing was my theory. I've read and heard from multiple buddies that this is not necessarily accurate for done people,  but by the time I learned this I was already one week in and thought I would white knuckle it.

 

I still take unisom for sleep which gets me five to six hours a night. I believe lack of sleep is half the battle.