Now I had a nightmare from hell

[[he...]]

I went to my social workers appointment today after this 3 week struggle of horrid side effects from Valium to the point I have been bedridden most of those days, and she suggested that I should be admitted in their small phych ward. I really did not want to but agreed. And they allowed me to go home and get my cats taken care of and get some personal belongings. And I came back with my clothes and personal hygene stuff. They first took me to the ER in the loony room. They said they were told I was suicidal, at my social worker made it clear I was not.  Imagine that.  and did blood work and told me I had to put on this urine colored outfit while being taken up there. I absolutely refused. Told them that if they insist I put those on, then I will just refuse to be admitted. They agreed finally but had to put on this blue outfit. Then had to be put in a wheelchair and escorted by the VA police, of all things. God, talk about degrading.

 

Then when I got up there, they took away all my belongings from me and would not even let me have my cell phone to pay a bill and even would not give me a medical cylinder in order to take care of my colostomy. And everything was plastic or cardboard in the whole place. Plastic chairs and cardboard trash cans. Such a depressing place with patients that were like totally not like me. Like the movie, One flew over the cuckoos nest. After about a couple of hours I could not take it anymore and demanded that I want to go home. I volunteered to come up here and this is not helping me and I want to leave. They called the doctor. He finally came after about an hour and asked me if I wanted to hurt myself. I told him I never did to begin with, I thought, Idiot, once again. :idiot:

 

Then the nurse came to me with a paper stating that I could leave but the paper said that I was leaving against medical advice. I was pissed and wrote my input on that same note stating that I volunteered to come up here so It should not say this and I said I was more medically healthy to be at home and that being there was a very unhealthy place for me to be in. (I really wanted to say you all are a bunch of fricken jerks that can stick that paper where the sun does not shine, with sandpaper wraped around it). I think you get my point.

 

I'm home now. And its so late, almost 11:30pm but I just wanted to get this written out to all of youcause I think just writing it makes me feel better. I see my doctor tomorrow at 3:30pm and I am going to tell him just to reinstate me back to Klonopin until by body adjusts and I feel mentally and physically ready to start my taper. Period. I don't want to deal with any other B.S. So that was how my day went today. Fun Fun but really  :crazy:

 

Heather

 

[[Ce...]]

Holy buckets! What a nightmare. You certainly named it right!  I was in a psych ward once without my consent (long sorted story). It was the same for me, too. The mirror wasn't glass, couldn't even use my blow dryer and a whole host of other inconveniences. I was pissed the whole time. The other patients weren't like me, either. They called this a safe place. HA! No. I think not. Some of them were bouncing off the walls. I have a soft heart for people in pain, but I just didn't belong there.

 

I was talking to a woman in a wheelchair, she was telling me that she had multiple personalities. We talked for a while and she told me her name was Kim. After about an hour we're just having this discussion and she says that her most dominant personality is asleep. So I asked her who am I talking to now?? She said I'm Kathy. OK...Then her 'dominant' side started to show, she was really aggressive, so I asked her her name again. This time it was Kelly. WTF!

 

Then there was this man there who was in a room at the end of the hall by himself. He kept coming out of his room bare ass naked. They would re dress him, put him back in his room, he'd go in undress and come back out naked again...he kept doing this!

 

Another woman came in singing her sentences. I'd say something to her and she'd break out in song.

 

Another guy came in said he had a crush on me and wrote me an X rated note!!! This is a safe place?? I sure as hell felt anything but safe.

 

I won't even tell you about the poor kid they had to shoot up with sedatives at night because he would throw a fit at bedtime, coming around my table at breakfast literally drooling over my plate.

 

Best you avoid those places!  It did me more harm than good. Glad you're home safe and sound.  ~CeCe 

[[be...]]

I had many psychiatric stays after my detoxes.  They ranged from 3 to 5 days each. You were not able to have your phone because of the camera on it.  At three weeks in you are still in my acute phase of withdrawal. This is when symptoms are their very worst and they can be severe. This phase typically lasts about a month. Once past this nightmare stage one will see a noticeable improvement. I personally would not reinstate at this time. I would give it a few more weeks.  It is recommended that a reinstatement be done within 14 days of stopping to have the best chance of success. Subsequent withdrawals are often more difficult, so even with a sensible taper it might not be better.

[[To...]]

  I'm a big fan of your posts !! Please write more, this shit is good ... 

 

  No serious that was some cool stuff to read.

 

I'm sorry this happened to you !!!     

 

You didn't go Cold Turkey did you ??   

[[of...]]

I went through the same thing. !! In my case, I just wanted to talk to doctors about a possible solution. I ended up in the psych ward for two weeks, I met several others in there for the same reason as myself. They were yanked off their benzos and suffering greatly.

 

Each one of these patients were treated like dogs.

 

Btw I was also a walk in. I drove to the hospital. After a week I started telling the nurses, hey, can you check on my car for me?

 

Then they let me out. 

 

 

[[ne...]]

My doctor wanted me to go to a psych hospital to get stable.

I was only very anxious because I was home alone and worried about getting groceries, bathing, laundry, falling.

 

The price of admittance was taking an AD, even for a 10 day outpatient group. 

AD's don't work for weeks and it was only a 10 day program..the math doesn't work.

 

HELLO, I just spent a year and 9 months getting off all meds.

 

Thank God I didn't go if this is what it was like.  UNREAL!

 

My only issue now is mostly pain, along with sensitivity to a lot of stimulus (lights, sounds) adrenalin spikes, fatigue.

BP spikes, high pulse at times, some insomnia.  They all was and wane.

 

I'm NOT depressed, I'm fatigued. Whole different ballgame.