Why so much fear?

[[1w...]]

Hey Buddies...why is it that fear takes on a life of its own on all of this?  I never used to be afraid of things that now keep me almost housebound.  Well ther are things that I am rightly afraid of but now it's magnified like 1000%. Agoraphobia is something I read about years ago but never in my wildest dreams thought it could happen to me...

[[Ch...]]

Our bodies are in fight or flight during withdrawal and into recovery for awhile.  Agoraphobia is pretty common but it's temporary.  I'd never had feelings of agoraphobia before, but i had them during withdrawal and some lingering feelings of not wanting to go anywhere for awhile after my taper ended.

 

It has all passed (long ago)...yours will too.  Magnification of everything negative is what seems to happen while we're in withdrawal, but as the central nervous system heals, everything starts to settle back down.

 

 

[[1w...]]

Thanks Challis.  I also so disconnected to everything and everyone.  Just so isolating.  I keep holding on.  I actually slept last night which was huge since I hadn't much in about a week.

[[be...]]

Fear is very common during all this as is becoming agoraphobic. I was fine...out and about until I crossed over to Valium. Now, except for certain things I'm pretty much housebound and I hate it. I've been told it should pass in time or even come and go. In the meantime no matter how badly it makes me feel I keep my hopes up every day. I think that's really important. B

[[Ch...]]

No kidding...I remember the disconnect.  I was connected to BB and that was it.  It was very isolating, very upsetting that this was not a medically validated issue.  The only validation I got was here, where other people were going through the same thing I was.

 

Time is what will get you through this. With all honesty I can tell you I've been where you are and it does end.  You will have your life back again with time.  It just takes so much longer than anyone would ever predict or expect as a reasonable  healing time. 

 

Hang in there, recovery is worth it.   

[[1w...]]

Yeah it's pretty crazy...I never used to be fearful of my fellow human beings but now my socialization is primarily with BB and my husband.  I work sporadically in personal home care but that scares the daylights out of me now too where it never used to.  Fear feeds on itself and I'm train wreck right now.  Also the intrusive memories make me crazy.  I just tell myself they are only memories but nonetheless it would be a nice change for them to stop!

[[Ch...]]

When they start up, try to distract yourself with something else... I played Pet Rescue, Scrabble and Solitaire to take my mind off things or redirect my thoughts when I wasn't posting on BB.

[[...]]

I second all of this. I have sensitivity to glare during the day (reflected sunlight) and night (headlights, street lamps, etc..) and my fear of it has grown massively while on benzos. I actively avoid going out at night or let my wife do the driving because of it. I never imagined that as a grown adult I could be so anxious and uncomfortable about something that small.

[[...]]

Our bodies are in fight or flight during withdrawal and into recovery for awhile.

 

I never thought of it this way, but it does seem to fit. Thanks for the food for thought.

[[1w...]]

Yeah each day the fear and crazy thinking brings something new.  Didn't think it could get worse but the deterioration of thoughts has been really hard.

[[Ar...]]

It has all passed (long ago)...yours will too.  Magnification of everything negative is what seems to happen while we're in withdrawal, but as the central nervous system heals, everything starts to settle back down.

 

Thanks for that, I really needed to hear that..I'm building enormous negative thought castles in my head now and its drivin me insane

[[ia...]]

Hey Buddies...why is it that fear takes on a life of its own on all of this?  I never used to be afraid of things that now keep me almost housebound.  Well ther are things that I am rightly afraid of but now it's magnified like 1000%. Agoraphobia is something I read about years ago but never in my wildest dreams thought it could happen to me...

 

Thanks for posting this topic 1waye...and for all those who responded. I learned true Fear and Agoraphobia thanks to Benzos.

I find no other place to validate these common symptoms. It really does help to know we are not alone.

[[ra...]]

Agoraphobia is something I read about years ago but never in my wildest dreams thought it could happen to me...

 

Well it happened to me too. Scared of driving a couple of streets from home... I was racing formula Ford cars in my youth and the race track was + 2 hours from home!

[[be...]]

These drugs have stolen our thoughts, emotions (feel extremely disconnected from my family except my husband) , our physical well being and the list goes on. They steel time from us but yet all we have is time on our side to heal. Distraction is great but for example today I'm sitting here on BB because I can't even put some folded laundry away. My legs are jello. For me it's the Valium but for others it's a different benzo. I just cringed and took my second dose ( I'm on a .5 cut today and HAPPY about it) so in 20 minutes I'll be in worse, not better shape. I can only hope the lower I get the better I will feel. I can stand the withdrawal but not the Valium. On Monday we head out in our motor home to escape the indoor painting we're having done. It's a great little spot 20 minutes away but I'm dreading it. Yet paint makes me very sick. So a no win. Maybe I've just hit a wall and this small cut will bring some happiness and less fear. I plan . 5 cuts every 5 days because I honestly can't stand this drug. I also looked at the thousand paint colours he brought over. I can't make any decisions. I need a shower but my skin is burning too much. I'm in my bedroom so I don't bug my husband with my stupid cigarette smoke (he quit and Vapes and now he hates the smell). It's cold so we can't open the windows. As you can see it's not a good day. Except for BB I'm totally alone! In my room again. I just want this to stop. Stop for us all. Sorry for the rant. B

[[1w...]]

These drugs have stolen our thoughts, emotions (feel extremely disconnected from my family except my husband) , our physical well being and the list goes on. They steel time from us but yet all we have is time on our side to heal. Distraction is great but for example today I'm sitting here on BB because I can't even put some folded laundry away. My legs are jello. For me it's the Valium but for others it's a different benzo. I just cringed and took my second dose ( I'm on a .5 cut today and HAPPY about it) so in 20 minutes I'll be in worse, not better shape. I can only hope the lower I get the better I will feel. I can stand the withdrawal but not the Valium. On Monday we head out in our motor home to escape the indoor painting we're having done. It's a great little spot 20 minutes away but I'm dreading it. Yet paint makes me very sick. So a no win. Maybe I've just hit a wall and this small cut will bring some happiness and less fear. I plan . 5 cuts every 5 days because I honestly can't stand this drug. I also looked at the thousand paint colours he brought over. I can't make any decisions. I need a shower but my skin is burning too much. I'm in my bedroom so I don't bug my husband with my stupid cigarette smoke (he quit and Vapes and now he hates the smell). It's cold so we can't open the windows. As you can see it's not a good day. Except for BB I'm totally alone! In my room again. I just want this to stop. Stop for us all. Sorry for the rant. B

 

Understood!

[[be...]]

Thanks Waye. Appreciate! B

[[El...]]

I have it too, and it's bad. I'm afraid/terrified most of the day. Things that I never thought twice about doing, everyday things, I am afraid to do. I have to get up the nerve to make phone calls or bring out the recycling etc.. It's absurd. I don't understand why I am so afraid. It's like I have to battle my way through the most mundane things, and it is exhausting.

[[ny...]]

Yup me too, when I CT'd pff K I had severe agoraphobia.  Now that I'm tapering, its minor BUT I'm a professional comedian who needs to be on stage every night.  I can't tell you what a difficult profession this is to maintain while withdrawing.  I'm just trying to keep my job.  When I'm out it's not that bad.  The problem is I don't want to go out and have canceled many shows.  My health is more important, I hope to be my old funny self soon. 

[[...]]

Yup me too, when I CT'd pff K I had severe agoraphobia.  Now that I'm tapering, its minor BUT I'm a professional comedian who needs to be on stage every night.  I can't tell you what a difficult profession this is to maintain while withdrawing.  I'm just trying to keep my job.  When I'm out it's not that bad.  The problem is I don't want to go out and have canceled many shows.  My health is more important, I hope to be my old funny self soon.

 

That is incredible! Bravo to you for being able to perform under these circumstances. I sit at a desk and type away at a computer most of the day, and that is difficult enough with all this!

[[Be...]]

Let me add this reassurance: since I stabilised recently, there has been a *marked* drop in agoraphobia. It's so weird. You think before that agoraphobia must involve more conscious or even subconscious thought / fear. For 'conventional' sufferers, that's the case. But for us, it really is just that our anxiety regulators are short circuited, it's a very raw, physical, chemical thing. Mine snuck up on me as I crashed my CNS through a brutal taper.

It's just got a lot easier for me to go out and do small stuff again. I'd be surprised if I didn't get hit by it again as I taper more but I know now that it can switch off just like *that*. And ultimately will for all of us, permanently.

 

 

[[Be...]]

Just read the stand up comic post - f*cking hell, man! That is truly hardcore. Huge respect. You'll get it all back and you'll be stronger for it. Great comedy can come from tribulation like this. That I do believe.