long time pharmaceutical user -- addict or just kinda functional person?

[[pr...]]

having severe issues with a family member who has been on norco and soma for many years. i think you all know who i am speaking about by now. anyway, this person started norco almost 20 years ago because he had surgery on his prostate and the scar tissue caused a lot of pain which i know can be very painful. so almost 20 years later he is taking 6 tabs of (10mg) norco which is the highest strength.  he also has a bad neck injury.

 

 

this person also has been on 4 tabs of 350mg soma for a little over 6 years now. so he takes these two meds everyday. i know that when he is running low of the soma and doesn't have a doctor to fill his script he gets into severe panic and probably interdose withdrawal.

 

i am just wondering if anyone thinks the way i do since i also was on these two drugs as well as the benzos. i feel like no matter what anyone can get into interdose withdrawal, especially after 20 years of use. ?

 

but do you think it's possible that a person can stay on this amount and these kinds of pharmaceuticals for this long without being an addict or dependent -- and just being a normal functional person? because he's trying really hard to keep these drugs around because he has so much "pain" all the time and will forever be needing these medications for the rest of his life and he's also got another family member thinking that he is just a normal semi - functional person who needs to be on these drugs for the rest of his life.

 

am i missing something

 

[[Ce...]]

Hey pretty  ,

 

These drugs are both so addicting...I know, I used to take Soma and not norco, but Tylenol #3. I gotta say about the T-3's, I got so tolerant to them, I was given 250 tabs (a month's supply) one time and went through them in 2 weeks time. I've since quit taking them, but went through an opiate w/d before I was out of the woods on that one. Soma I quit cold turkey. Not fun, but doable.

 

I can't imagine that these drugs still work for your friend, at the same doses for this many years. They are both highly addictive, so I think after 20 years, yes this person is addicted/dependant. The body couldn't help but be addicted or dependant. Does this person care, or want to be off these things? Just wondering...

 

I don't know if I helped or not, but I hope I gave you some insight.  Let us know how you are doing with this, ok? 

 

Hugs to you and lot's of love, always...~CeCe   

[[pr...]]

Hey Cece,

 

 

as well as large dose's of benzo's (mostly klonopin) i had also did the cold turkey from 1750mg of soma so that as well as the benzo's is what i am recovery from.

 

this person, i believe needs to keep his "pain" so he can keep taking what he is taking. he says it's the only thing that "works" for him. after almost 20 years of use, i am wondering if his personality is his true personality or if it's colored by the drugs and/or if he would be different if he were not on these medications? i am starting to not be able to have any tolerance around this infantile person -- baby. i am starting to wonder where his diapers and his crib are at?

 

but he is a good con artist and con's another family member everyday that he needs these drugs always. and that he is semi-functional keeps him from being a full blown addict.

[[Ce...]]

Hey Cece,

 

 

as well as large dose's of benzo's (mostly klonopin) i had also did the cold turkey from 1750mg of soma so that as well as the benzo's is what i am recovery from.

 

this person, i believe needs to keep his "pain" do he can keep taking what he is taking. he says it's the only thing that "works" for him. after almost 20 years of use, i am wondering if his personality is his true personality or if it's colored by the drugs and/or if he would be different if he were not on these medications? i am starting to not be able to have any tolerance around this infantile person -- baby. i am starting to wonder where his diapers and his crib are at?

 

but he is a good con artist and con's another family member everyday that he needs these drugs always. and that he is semi-functional keeps him from being a full blown addict.

 

Pretty, I hear you. My step dad--same thing. I went to SC one year to help him and my mother move. We were all working like crazy and I was wondering where the hell he was! So I looked around the house for him and found him cowering in one of the bedrooms. He looked up at me all frazzled, I asked him what the deal was and he told me he was out of his "medication". I asked him which one? Before he even answered I already knew what he was going to say, and he said it! Xanax. Geez, however did I know? Because I know him, that's how. He's addicted to so many scripts and supplements, it makes me cringe whenever I'm near him. He thinks he has everyone fooled. Well, you can't BS a BSer! Let's just say, I have his number....he also walks around like he's so sick all the time, just for sympathy and I guess to 'prove' to everyone that he needs these medications. He is only 64 years old, but will not do a thing except sit in his recliner and bark orders at my 82 year old mother, who really is sick!    It really does piss me off!

[[Ce...]]

PS  Thank you for letting me vent...I feel better, somehow   

[[pr...]]

CeCe,

 

i hear ya! my brother is always ordering my 77 year old mother around and swindling money from her saying that he will pay her back. telling me to just "get rid of your car insurance" since he doesn't want to deal with it or any other bill that i have - oh it's just a whole thing i can't even get into on here but i need to talk with someone about this because i am going insane about it. is this really his personality? or do these drugs color one's true self? i guess they must. and i know what you mean, i've been through it and he thinks he can BS and already BSer? is he kidding me?

 

he thinks that just because he is somewhat functional and doesn't "abuse" these pills that he is not an addict and has true pain./ i'm sure he does have pain but i am also sure that it's because of interdose withdrawal and hyperglasia. i've had enough of this and i can't take living with this person any longer. every single fucking word that is uttered out of his mouth is babble bullshit and i can't believe that my mother keeps thinking that "maybe somehow he will be different and change" i've been fooled too but not any longer.

 

sorry to hear that you are going through this as well with your step dad. has he been on xanax a long time? is he in tolerance withdrawal? is he on anything else?

[[fr...]]

  So funny(not) that you brought up those two meds.  I am on both also and have also been on for years.  started out lower doses but up to 60 mg. daily of norco and about 2 1/2 -3 somas a day and valium.  I was on ativan but switched to the valium to try to help.  I am barely functional.  This all hit at once when I started tapering the valium.  I have had 3 back surgeries and others, and need knee replacements but am putting them off.  I would say he is definitely having a problem now as I am.  I don't know how you tapered all that you did Pretty, you must be very strong.  I have burning neuropathy and nausea as my most horrible symptoms.  I have to talk to the Drs. but we all know they don't know anything and I'm terrified now that they will try to just yank me off.  I don't try to fool myself for one minute that this will be easy but I just don't see how I can do it. Dr. says one drug at a time but its so hard when you are barely alive.  My Dr. should never have kept me on this stuff for so long but can't blame him, I put them in my mouth.  Never had a problem until now I do.  I don't know which way is up and am trying not to panic but I am in a very bad way and scared.  63 and been in Pain management for over 20 yrs. also.  Hope things get better for all, I pray for us all.  So so sick and tired of pills but must take them or be in horrible shape.  Just thought i would weigh in that I don't blame anyoe but me for this, I should hhave done my research esp. when they put me on ativan 5 yrs ago. 

[[li...]]

What are we talking about here - physical dependence or drug craving, abuse, dose escalation ?

[[fr...]]

  I am talking about physical dependence on these drugs now.  I don't crave them or even want them, I want to taper and have tried but am so sick right now don't see how I can.  I am tapering the valium first per my Dr. but the pain meds and soma don't last the full time between doses so I guess my body is now demanding more.  Dr. has tried to get me to go to Oxycodone for the pain, as i do have legitimate issues but I don't want to escalate.  Just want to try to get off but am very sick and burning neuropathy is worst s/x at this time. Wants me to take gabapentin for that and am trying not to.  I think original poster was speaking about an abuse issue maybe, didn't mean to hijack the post but was struck by the same meds that I am on other than the xanax.

[[fr...]]

  CeCe,  I hope you didn't mean me for this answer.  I know I am physically dependent on them but I never abused them, took as prescribed and never craved etc.  I feel sorry for you and Pretty as to the situations with your relatives.  To be nasty, demanding and tormenting other people is terrible and if they are doing this I sympathize with you fully.  I on the other hand try to downplay my suffering as my family is so worried and it hurts my heart to see them like this also.  I'm not trying to make excuses but severe chronic pain must be addressed and this was and is my case.  Anyway, should have stayed out of it, please don't think I was discounting what you go through with addicts etc in your lives.  I hope things do get better, it has to be so bad when innocent people are subjected to a nasty drug addled persons abuse. 

[[Ce...]]

  CeCe,  I hope you didn't mean me for this answer.  I know I am physically dependent on them but I never abused them, took as prescribed and never craved etc.  I feel sorry for you and Pretty as to the situations with your relatives.  To be nasty, demanding and tormenting other people is terrible and if they are doing this I sympathize with you fully.  I on the other hand try to downplay my suffering as my family is so worried and it hurts my heart to see them like this also.  I'm not trying to make excuses but severe chronic pain must be addressed and this was and is my case.  Anyway, should have stayed out of it, please don't think I was discounting what you go through with addicts etc in your lives.  I hope things do get better, it has to be so bad when innocent people are subjected to a nasty drug addled persons abuse.

 

 

Hi freeme,

 

No worries, I was just venting and I think I can speak for pretty, she needed to vent, as well. I really do understand pain, I've had a lot of it in my life, as well. Was suppose to go to an inpatient pain clinic at one point, but it never happened. That was many years ago. I hope I wasn't out of line by venting on the wrong thread. I didn't mean to hurt you or anyone else. Just venting about my step dad. He really is a good guy, but the family has known about his drug issues for years, now. Whenever I get on the subject, I go off because it affects my sweet mother so badly. This was in no way aimed at anyone other than the ones pretty and I mentioned. I know there are people suffering legitimately and taking their meds as directed for good reason. The person I mentioned, is addicted and abusive with his meds. Running out of Xanax is a red flag to me. But now that I'm going through all of this, I'm thinking...is he going through interdose w/d, too?? 

 

Hope you are well,  ~CeCe   

[[fr...]]

  CeCe,  I fully understand, I don't blame you for venting.  To see your loved one abused is so awful.  Yes, running out early is a red flag.  If you truly need more meds this should always be discussed with Dr. as to why etc.  I never run out early, I try to take less in fact.  My pain was so bad before the surgery I couldn't walk or stand for more than a few minutes.  I still refused stronger meds because I'm so tired of this endless cycle of pills, pills and more pills.  Anyway, I probably should have kept my mouth out of it so you two vent on, I sympathize.  Its all good,  blessings to you both and hope the situations improve.

[[Ce...]]

  CeCe,  I fully understand, I don't blame you for venting.  To see your loved one abused is so awful.  Yes, running out early is a red flag.  If you truly need more meds this should always be discussed with Dr. as to why etc.  I never run out early, I try to take less in fact.  My pain was so bad before the surgery I couldn't walk or stand for more than a few minutes.  I still refused stronger meds because I'm so tired of this endless cycle of pills, pills and more pills.  Anyway, I probably should have kept my mouth out of it so you two vent on, I sympathize.  Its all good,  blessings to you both and hope the situations improve.

 

 

I hope you find relief, freeme. Pills, pills and more pills. Exactly. It's horrible. Taking less is always a good idea, I hope you get relief and feel better very soon.

 

Love and hugs,  CeCe   

[[pr...]]

What are we talking about here - physical dependence or drug craving, abuse, dose escalation ?

 

 

my question is: can a person be on these meds for a long period of time like 20 years and keep taking them as directed and have a fully functioning life and not be an addict or dependent because they need them for pain management?

 

also, wondering if this is truly my brother's personality or if these drugs affect his personality because if this is his true personality i need to run for the hills and i can't right now being still non functional myself. i am hell!

[[fr...]]

  IDK about your brother but I know that I am no longer a fully functioning person.  I wasn't before the pills but was stable for years on them.  I went up some in dosage but never changed meds.  Drs. always want to try something stronger and I always resisted.  I shouldn't have started the benzo's but had a life threatening illness and almost was dead.  I had so much anxiety they gave it to me in the hospital and from then on the Dr wanted me to stay  on it.  5 yrs.  of Ativan.  It all worked, until it didn't.  Now I suffer but it was only when I tried to taper off the ativan that this all went south so is that why?  IDK  I am the same person though, I don't feel my personality has changed and i certainly don't abuse people.  I find since being in such pain and agony i am more empathetic if anything.  I feel for you with your brother.  I hope he can get help. 

[[li...]]

What are we talking about here - physical dependence or drug craving, abuse, dose escalation ?

 

 

my question is: can a person be on these meds for a long period of time like 20 years and keep taking them as directed and have a fully functioning life and not be an addict or dependent because they need them for pain management?

 

also, wondering if this is truly my brother's personality or if these drugs affect his personality because if this is his true personality i need to run for the hills and i can't right now being still non functional myself. i am hell!

 

1) Maybe. I don't know. I don't have much experience with opiates. Probably depends on the person as well. Will full tolerance to the effects of the opiate not be achieved after years ?

 

2) If he's in agony off the drugs, is that his true personality ?

[[pr...]]

well, the thing is he hasn't been off the opiates in about 20 years and he has been on the soma for about 6-7 years.

before that he was always on marijuana so he really hasn't been clean, sober and off any kind of drugs since he was about 13 years old and he is in his late 40's now.

 

i wouldn't know what his true personality is? -- as he has never been off drugs. i don't really remember but it just seems like his personality is getting more severe with the fact that his perception about life and other people seems extremely infantile and he almost seems like he is a little bit of a sociopath. i don't know how much empathy he has and he certainly doesn't have any for me nor does he realize what has even happened to me.

 

i have been on many different benzo's, a few different opiates and soma and i will say that the benzo's seem to be an entirely different beast as far as these pharmaceuticals. i think every probably should be tapered but it seems like the benzo's need the longest and slowest of all the tapers. and it also seems like the benzo's can make people go into a tolerance and their lives seem to be disrupted but i've also seen where the opiates can disrupt people's lives and functionality too.

 

my brother says he needs morphine for his pain now so i know he wants a stronger opiate and i only think it could be a matter of time before something happens to him like what happened to Prince, Heath Ledger, River Phoenix and Philip Seymour Hoffman. once you start looking for those stronger opiates, i think you're headed for more trouble and possibly even the grave.

[[fr...]]

  I so hope he isn't Pretty.  Wanting stronger drugs is not good.  I know I was often offered them but didn't want them. I feel for you both.  Its sad that he can't see what you are going through.  YOu seem very strong.  I hope I can be as strong in getting off these drugs, I want to see how much pain I can bear without them.  I only know I can't go on like this.  IDK if his Drs. would go along with morphine, that is pretty extreme but I don't know much about the stronger ones.  I hope you both can get the help you need.  He sounds like he has been in a drug induced state most of his life, very sad.  Good luck to you and hope you feel better soon. Its so hard, I know.

[[Sm...]]

Hi PrettyDaisys,hope you are doing well. Your poor brother, those opiates are awful. I was on Norcos for pretty much my whole adult life and the way they had an effect on me is very interesting. First of all, I fully believe that you can become dependent and not an addict. But either way, if taken consistently your body will need more just to feel normal. By normal I mean not be completely sick with withdrawals. When I first started I took one half a norco (10mg) a day. By the time I CT I was taking anywhere from 6-10 a day. If you just met me though you'd never know that I was dependent on them. I was a full time student, lived on my own, had boyfriends, hung out with friends, worked full time. I lived a very functional life. When I took them they made me feel normal. But every 2-4 hours I could feel them wearing off. My back would start to ache really bad, I'd get very irritable, start sweating and then I'd pop another pill and go about my day. I never craved them. I never took them to get high. I pretty much just took them to prevent from getting sick.

 

When I decided to get off of them, I thought it'd be no big deal. Feel sick for a week and I'd be good to go. Not the case. I still struggle to decide whether my protracted withdrawals are from the norcos I took or the 10 xanax I took for a couple months after the painkillers but either way, becoming sober has made me realize how different I was on the painkillers. When I was on the painkillers I was VERY manipulative. I can't even believe the crap I'd pull just to get my way. It's outrageous. I'm not like that at all anymore. When I took painkillers I was also very "blah". I was very very serious. Nothing was fun. I didn't have much of a personality. Now I smile more, have fun, dance, be goofy, and now it's as if I'm looking at the world through the eyes of a child. Everything seems SO cool and fascinating. Even my senses are better, colors are brighter, smells and taste is stronger, hearing is better. Unfortunately, at times they're too sensitive. Bright lights are very hard for me. The downfall is learning to cope with emotions again. Being sober, for me, emotions are a million times stronger. If I'm happy I'm super happy,if I'm sad I'm really sad, and if I'm angry I'm F****** pissed. lol. But at least I feel. When I was on painkillers I never felt the level of happiness I feel now. I never knew anyone could ever feel this happy at all. When I was on painkillers, I never got angry. I was always in the "I don't care" mode. And if I did get sad, it was mostly for manipulative purposes. Therefore, if your brother does get sober, he won't be the same person he is now. I can guarantee that. He won't be the person he was before them either because it's been so long. He'd have to discover the new sober man he now has become.

 

So many people are always afraid of the pain they'll be in when getting off painkillers, but in my case and many others, my pain has completely vanished (unless if I'm in a wave and then it's a whole host of all kinds of weird feelings and pain and sensations but you all know how that goes). But even in a wave I'm not in legitimate pain like I was while on the painkillers. My back no longer aches the way it used to, my hips and pelvis feel better than ever (which were crushed and completely rebuilt and replaced when I was 19) and I feel lighter. The ugly side though is that I do get nerve pain I think from the CT and whatever it did to my nervous system. Sometimes it's really agitating, sometimes I don't have it all, and other times it's just little painful zaps that I'll get for a second and then go away.

 

Anyways, getting off the painkillers is the best thing I've ever done. It's nice to not be imprisoned by them. But to be honest, I didn't see how much it effected me until I got off them. I simply got off of them because I don't want to be on pills my whole life. That was the only reason. In fact, I didn't even think I needed to get off of them. I functioned just fine and lived a life just like everyone else. I didn't see it until I got off of them and stayed off of them. Therefore, this is the norm for your brother. He doesn't know any other way than this way. He doesn't know what it feels like to be off of them. To him, he probably doesn't even recognize that he has a problem. And if he were to get off of them, then he'd have to adjust to a whole new way of living, coping, and feeling like we all have here.

 

BUT try your best to to not let him go on morphine. Those withdrawals I've heard are some of the worst out of all the opiates. Don't let him get on anything stronger because that will make him non functional and raise his risk for an OD.  But maybe he can go to the doctor and look into suboxone. I've heard it helps. Also, for him to remain on the same dosage of painkillers to me is amazing. To be on them for 20 years and only at 60mg of hydrocodone a day? That's a lot better than a lot of people. But if you can make him get a liver panel test done because all that Tylenol can't be good for his liver and if his liver enzymes are high, maybe that'll scare him into getting sober. Those are just my thoughts. Hang in there PrettyDaisys.

[[Ce...]]

Hi PrettyDaisys,hope you are doing well. Your poor brother, those opiates are awful. I was on Norcos for pretty much my whole adult life and the way they had an effect on me is very interesting. First of all, I fully believe that you can become dependent and not an addict. But either way, if taken consistently your body will need more just to feel normal. By normal I mean not be completely sick with withdrawals. When I first started I took one half a norco (10mg) a day. By the time I CT I was taking anywhere from 6-10 a day. If you just met me though you'd never know that I was dependent on them. I was a full time student, lived on my own, had boyfriends, hung out with friends, worked full time. I lived a very functional life. When I took them they made me feel normal. But every 2-4 hours I could feel them wearing off. My back would start to ache really bad, I'd get very irritable, start sweating and then I'd pop another pill and go about my day. I never craved them. I never took them to get high. I pretty much just took them to prevent from getting sick.

 

When I decided to get off of them, I thought it'd be no big deal. Feel sick for a week and I'd be good to go. Not the case. I still struggle to decide whether my protracted withdrawals are from the norcos I took or the 10 xanax I took for a couple months after the painkillers but either way, becoming sober has made me realize how different I was on the painkillers. When I was on the painkillers I was VERY manipulative. I can't even believe the crap I'd pull just to get my way. It's outrageous. I'm not like that at all anymore. When I took painkillers I was also very "blah". I was very very serious. Nothing was fun. I didn't have much of a personality. Now I smile more, have fun, dance, be goofy, and now it's as if I'm looking at the world through the eyes of a child. Everything seems SO cool and fascinating. Even my senses are better, colors are brighter, smells and taste is stronger, hearing is better. Unfortunately, at times they're too sensitive. Bright lights are very hard for me. The downfall is learning to cope with emotions again. Being sober, for me, emotions are a million times stronger. If I'm happy I'm super happy,if I'm sad I'm really sad, and if I'm angry I'm F****** pissed. lol. But at least I feel. When I was on painkillers I never felt the level of happiness I feel now. I never knew anyone could ever feel this happy at all. When I was on painkillers, I never got angry. I was always in the "I don't care" mode. And if I did get sad, it was mostly for manipulative purposes. Therefore, if your brother does get sober, he won't be the same person he is now. I can guarantee that. He won't be the person he was before them either because it's been so long. He'd have to discover the new sober man he now has become.

 

So many people are always afraid of the pain they'll be in when getting off painkillers, but in my case and many others, my pain has completely vanished (unless if I'm in a wave and then it's a whole host of all kinds of weird feelings and pain and sensations but you all know how that goes). But even in a wave I'm not in legitimate pain like I was while on the painkillers. My back no longer aches the way it used to, my hips and pelvis feel better than ever (which were crushed and completely rebuilt and replaced when I was 19) and I feel lighter. The ugly side though is that I do get nerve pain I think from the CT and whatever it did to my nervous system. Sometimes it's really agitating, sometimes I don't have it all, and other times it's just little painful zaps that I'll get for a second and then go away.

 

Anyways, getting off the painkillers is the best thing I've ever done. It's nice to not be imprisoned by them. But to be honest, I didn't see how much it effected me until I got off them. I simply got off of them because I don't want to be on pills my whole life. That was the only reason. In fact, I didn't even think I needed to get off of them. I functioned just fine and lived a life just like everyone else. I didn't see it until I got off of them and stayed off of them. Therefore, this is the norm for your brother. He doesn't know any other way than this way. He doesn't know what it feels like to be off of them. To him, he probably doesn't even recognize that he has a problem. And if he were to get off of them, then he'd have to adjust to a whole new way of living, coping, and feeling like we all have here.

 

BUT try your best to to not let him go on morphine. Those withdrawals I've heard are some of the worst out of all the opiates. Don't let him get on anything stronger because that will make him non functional and raise his risk for an OD.  But maybe he can go to the doctor and look into suboxone. I've heard it helps. Also, for him to remain on the same dosage of painkillers to me is amazing. To be on them for 20 years and only at 60mg of hydrocodone a day? That's a lot better than a lot of people. But if you can make him get a liver panel test done because all that Tylenol can't be good for his liver and if his liver enzymes are high, maybe that'll scare him into getting sober. Those are just my thoughts. Hang in there PrettyDaisys.

 

Nice post,  Sms2214, thank you! I agree stay away from the morphine!! I too was in terrible pain for many years, now that I'm off T-3's, I can't even remember what or where my pain was! Wierd, because it was such a big issue at one time. I was put on morphine for a while and had a patch with the medication that was in Prince's blood stream (can't remember the name) but at one time, I forgot I had patches on and would put more patches on not even thinking...once I got off these things, I also started feeling again. I can relate to that so well. Pretty, I bet once your brother got off these things, you'd meet the real Mccoy!

 

Good luck, pretty...he's got to want to do it before anything can happen.

 

Love to you always!! ~CeCe   

[[pr...]]

Hi PrettyDaisys,hope you are doing well. Your poor brother, those opiates are awful. I was on Norcos for pretty much my whole adult life and the way they had an effect on me is very interesting. First of all, I fully believe that you can become dependent and not an addict. But either way, if taken consistently your body will need more just to feel normal. By normal I mean not be completely sick with withdrawals. When I first started I took one half a norco (10mg) a day. By the time I CT I was taking anywhere from 6-10 a day. If you just met me though you'd never know that I was dependent on them. I was a full time student, lived on my own, had boyfriends, hung out with friends, worked full time. I lived a very functional life. When I took them they made me feel normal. But every 2-4 hours I could feel them wearing off. My back would start to ache really bad, I'd get very irritable, start sweating and then I'd pop another pill and go about my day. I never craved them. I never took them to get high. I pretty much just took them to prevent from getting sick.

 

When I decided to get off of them, I thought it'd be no big deal. Feel sick for a week and I'd be good to go. Not the case. I still struggle to decide whether my protracted withdrawals are from the norcos I took or the 10 xanax I took for a couple months after the painkillers but either way, becoming sober has made me realize how different I was on the painkillers. When I was on the painkillers I was VERY manipulative. I can't even believe the crap I'd pull just to get my way. It's outrageous. I'm not like that at all anymore. When I took painkillers I was also very "blah". I was very very serious. Nothing was fun. I didn't have much of a personality. Now I smile more, have fun, dance, be goofy, and now it's as if I'm looking at the world through the eyes of a child. Everything seems SO cool and fascinating. Even my senses are better, colors are brighter, smells and taste is stronger, hearing is better. Unfortunately, at times they're too sensitive. Bright lights are very hard for me. The downfall is learning to cope with emotions again. Being sober, for me, emotions are a million times stronger. If I'm happy I'm super happy,if I'm sad I'm really sad, and if I'm angry I'm F****** pissed. lol. But at least I feel. When I was on painkillers I never felt the level of happiness I feel now. I never knew anyone could ever feel this happy at all. When I was on painkillers, I never got angry. I was always in the "I don't care" mode. And if I did get sad, it was mostly for manipulative purposes. Therefore, if your brother does get sober, he won't be the same person he is now. I can guarantee that. He won't be the person he was before them either because it's been so long. He'd have to discover the new sober man he now has become.

 

So many people are always afraid of the pain they'll be in when getting off painkillers, but in my case and many others, my pain has completely vanished (unless if I'm in a wave and then it's a whole host of all kinds of weird feelings and pain and sensations but you all know how that goes). But even in a wave I'm not in legitimate pain like I was while on the painkillers. My back no longer aches the way it used to, my hips and pelvis feel better than ever (which were crushed and completely rebuilt and replaced when I was 19) and I feel lighter. The ugly side though is that I do get nerve pain I think from the CT and whatever it did to my nervous system. Sometimes it's really agitating, sometimes I don't have it all, and other times it's just little painful zaps that I'll get for a second and then go away.

 

Anyways, getting off the painkillers is the best thing I've ever done. It's nice to not be imprisoned by them. But to be honest, I didn't see how much it effected me until I got off them. I simply got off of them because I don't want to be on pills my whole life. That was the only reason. In fact, I didn't even think I needed to get off of them. I functioned just fine and lived a life just like everyone else. I didn't see it until I got off of them and stayed off of them. Therefore, this is the norm for your brother. He doesn't know any other way than this way. He doesn't know what it feels like to be off of them. To him, he probably doesn't even recognize that he has a problem. And if he were to get off of them, then he'd have to adjust to a whole new way of living, coping, and feeling like we all have here.

 

BUT try your best to to not let him go on morphine. Those withdrawals I've heard are some of the worst out of all the opiates. Don't let him get on anything stronger because that will make him non functional and raise his risk for an OD.  But maybe he can go to the doctor and look into suboxone. I've heard it helps. Also, for him to remain on the same dosage of painkillers to me is amazing. To be on them for 20 years and only at 60mg of hydrocodone a day? That's a lot better than a lot of people. But if you can make him get a liver panel test done because all that Tylenol can't be good for his liver and if his liver enzymes are high, maybe that'll scare him into getting sober. Those are just my thoughts. Hang in there PrettyDaisys.

 

 

Sms2214,

 

 

i can't thank you enough for you post. i am also going to share it with my mother. she know's about my brother but stays in denial about it i think. i relate to every word because i was also dependent on opiates for a very long time and in fact i had tapered slowly from suboxone after being on it for ten years. i didn't want to do another cold turkey like i did with the benzo's so i tapered slowly over three years. before suboxone, i was on tons of vicodin and also this cough syrup called "Hydromet" of which i was severely addicted to and even OD a few times. i would make myself stay up all night because i was afraid to fall asleep as i knew i would not wake up. i knew i had overdosed on it a few times, actually more than a few. i was on 16oz every 5 days of that opiate cough syrup.

 

my brother will never be out of denial and will never go on suboxone. he truly thinks that the combination of the 6-8 norco and 4-5 soma a day "works" for all his pain. i know he is always in interdose withdrawal but interdose withdrawal just means that he is still always in pain and will always need these drugs. he just won't ever see that all of this "injuries" and pain is from being on the norco for so long and now the soma. and i have to live with this. and i hate it. every fucking thing he says and does bugs the hell out of me. i can't talk to him and i can't look at him. he is manipulative like crazy and i don't want anything to do with him. he is not a man, he is extremely infantile. i don't think i've ever seen anyone so infantile. yeah i am angry, i almost killed myself a million times over getting off the benzo's and than had to slowly taper from long time suboxone and he just sits here popping his pills and drinking his coffee and going out the front door every 15-30 minutes to smoke a cigarette which is his life and i don't have my own room -- i am right smack dab in the middle of the living room listening to this addict taking all kinds of things including coffee and tons of sugar and these pills going in and out the door every 15 minutes, it's truly maddening!

 

and i don't how the hell i will ever get out of here, but i must get well and get out. and then there is this whole "family" business working/money thing of which he is not being fair about and there is nothing i can do about anything and i am still so symptomatic from the benzo withdrawal.

 

 

i do think most of your pain and nerve pain is probably all benzo related. even though you only took 10 xanax for a couple of months, that is long enough when it comes to these benzos and the damage they can do. not saying that opiates are any better but for me it was always all the benzo damage that made me severely non functional. i also have that full body horrible pain when i was on the opiates. it felt like my whole body was riddled with cancer. now i still have some nerve pain and squeezing neuropathy from the benzo's but all the pain that was from the interdose from opiates was gone and gone fast. so i know that people can start to be free from all their pain once off the opiates.

 

again, thanks so much for sharing all of this. i hope my mother will be able to get out of her denial at least a little bit after i share this with her.

 

Good luck, pretty...he's got to want to do it before anything can happen.

 

CeCe,

 

i don't think he will ever get out of his denial about these two drugs and uses every excuse to stay on them. it's sickening to me and nothing i can do. i am seriously worried that i will be the only one that will have to bury him or me and his daughter. i don't how one can keep living with the way he treats his body and all the addictive toxic things he puts into his body every single moment. i hope i don't get shot down for saying this as i've been seriously fighting for me life for so long now. and he looks so yellow, pale and even green. doesn't look good at all -- and he blames me for everything!

[[Ce...]]

Pretty,

 

Do you think the state could get involved, and possibly get him committed to a mental health unit where they can help him get off some of this, readjusting his medications? If he looks really sickly and you're worried, I would think they could help you with that.

 

Really, I don't like talking about this, but my ex was really stressed about me and he did this. That's how I got off a lot of my pain meds. I fought it at the time and was really pissed, but now I'm thankful that he had the insight to do that for me. With the Soma, the Fentanyl patches and T-3's I was barely functioning.

 

What do you think?    ~CeCe 

[[pr...]]

Pretty,

 

Do you think the state could get involved, and possibly get him committed to a mental health unit where they can help him get off some of this, readjusting his medications? If he looks really sickly and you're worried, I would think they could help you with that.

 

Really, I don't like talking about this, but my ex was really stressed about me and he did this. That's how I got off a lot of my pain meds. I fought it at the time and was really pissed, but now I'm thankful that he had the insight to do that for me. With the Soma, the Fentanyl patches and T-3's I was barely functioning.

 

What do you think?    ~CeCe 

 

 

no because he doesn't think he has a problem. he truly believes he needs this for the rest of his life for his "pain". there would be no way that anyone could get involved. i've never seen anyone so head strong and stubborn. i can't wait to get away from here.

 

how much soma were you on? i was taking soma intermittenly and was on about 1750mg at a time. for about 3-4 months. the stupid doctor gave it to me to help with the benzo withdrawals. i told him he should have never done that. i would take about 4-5 of the 350mg at a time and just be so out of it.

[[Ce...]]

That's not good. Sorry that he's such a stubborn poop. And I'm hoping and praying for better days for you.....you deserve it!

 

I was on Soma intermittently, too. The most I took at one time was 5 x 350. Those things are wicked. I was so out of it! I was miserable. When they took me to the hospital, they told me my heart almost stopped, because it is, afterall, a muscle relaxant. Scary, scary stuff....I'll never put myself through that again. Ever! I know better, now. 

 

 

[[pr...]]

That's not good. Sorry that he's such a stubborn poop. And I'm hoping and praying for better days for you.....you deserve it!

 

I was on Soma intermittently, too. The most I took at one time was 5 x 350. Those things are wicked. I was so out of it! I was miserable. When they took me to the hospital, they told me my heart almost stopped, because it is, afterall, a muscle relaxant. Scary, scary stuff....I'll never put myself through that again. Ever! I know better, now. 

 

 

yeah, that is what i took all at once too. 5 tabs of the 350mg. it is wicked stuff. i couldn't operate a computer or dial a phone number and was weaving and not able to stand in one place.