Everything reminds me of withdrawal and more

[[Si...]]

...the curtains I open in the morning

...the bathroom

...my own bedroom

...my dog

....my Ipad that I used for playing games, social media (to distract)

....I hate everything i see or hear!

 

It's like my brain is telling me I have to change everything in my life!!!

Thinking about my childhood, present time, future, so many images, pretty intrusive all the time.

Like my life before withdrawal was worthless so i have to move, have more friends, have a boyfriend and so on....things I was okay with before withdrawal is now a BIG issue...!!!

I compare myself all the time with other people's lives: married, better this or that, more this or that

 

Does anyone recognize this?

Does these feelings go away???

[[Re...]]

Of course these feeling will go away. I personally had this really bad my second and first month. Therapy helped a lot with it to help realize how irrational my thought process was. I still get this one off and on. I am sure I will get it again even  worse since this recovery is complete bullshit.

 

My thoughts became painful to me emotionally . Very toxic stuff our thoughts. Mindfulness is the key to overcoming this. I would talk to a therapist if you could. So they can help you see what is rational and what is irrational . They do this using cbt. Some of the best coping skills out there.

 

You must become a Jedi mentally to overcome these thoughts

 

:oXo: :oXo: :oXo:

[[Da...]]

Hi Simone, I totally relate to what you are saying. I have the same feelings as you. I regret so many things from the past that I said and did, it is crazy becauz ive never done this before. I have always been an optimist and always looked forward to the future and moving forward. Now I'm stuck in this terrible feeling all day everyday and it is so difficult. I know you feel the same way and I want things to change for you and me soon.

[[Na...]]

This is typical.  I know it is upsetting, and I have this every day.  Yesterday for the first time I said to myself, this is not you, this is benzo BS and it's going to go on until it's worn out, until you recover more.  I said to myself  "so what your brain is in healing mode, get used to it for now, and STOP letting it upset you."I was going so far in to regret about the past that I was going to ask my husband to restore my house back the way it was before it was remodeled 13 years ago,. That somehow that would make me feel better??  It made no sense. Benzo brain makes no sense. Just tell yourself this every day, all day.  We can learn to overcome it.

[[Si...]]

Thx all for your replies!!

Really appreciate it,

 

Simone.

[[...]]

Yes all those feelings do go with time! When I hit my 9th month they really started lifting. Now at 1 year they're 90-95% gone. Hang in there all, it does get better!

[[Si...]]

Thx so much rj! This gives me hope!

[[Ce...]]

This is typical.  I know it is upsetting, and I have this every day.  Yesterday for the first time I said to myself, this is not you, this is benzo BS and it's going to go on until it's worn out, until you recover more.  I said to myself  "so what your brain is in healing mode, get used to it for now, and STOP letting it upset you."I was going so far in to regret about the past that I was going to ask my husband to restore my house back the way it was before it was remodeled 13 years ago,. That somehow that would make me feel better??  It made no sense. Benzo brain makes no sense. Just tell yourself this every day, all day.  We can learn to overcome it.

 

I can so relate to this! It's late, I'm going to bed. I can't seem to hold a thought. So glad for this reading, it helps settle my thoughts...thank you!  Good night...

[[Si...]]

Whaha, it's morning here, 10.15 am exactly!! I'm sitting in the garden right now and it's getting hot today.

 

Thx 4 ur reply!

 

Good night sleeping for you cece!

[[Si...]]

Anyone else?

[Guest [wo...]]

Oh my.. I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this too...  :'( it's really painful. It will go away, our brains just don't know it yet, they are not ready to believe it but it will and soon I'm sure.

 

It's frustrating because it feels rational to you right now to think it won't go away, I know the feeling. We are tired and it's hard to believe anyone saying we'll feel much better at one point. I yearn for the same relief you're desperately trying to achieve. We WILL find it.

 

In the meantime, can you move furniture around? I do it once a week and it helps. It makes my surroundings different enough for a while. I also use different dishes or linens because the usual ones remind me of my suffering. Wow that really sounds silly but you know... whatever works right?

[[Si...]]

Oh my.. I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this too...  :'( it's really painful. It will go away, our brains just don't know it yet, they are not ready to believe it but it will and soon I'm sure.

 

It's frustrating because it feels rational to you right now to think it won't go away, I know the feeling. We are tired and it's hard to believe anyone saying we'll feel much better at one point. I yearn for the same relief you're desperately trying to achieve. We WILL find it.

 

In the meantime, can you move furniture around? I do it once a week and it helps. It makes my surroundings different enough for a while. I also use different dishes or linens because the usual ones remind me of my suffering. Wow that really sounds silly but you know... whatever works right?

 

Thanks worrymiss,

 

I tried to change some things, but I think it's also a disconnected kind of feeling.

Everyday when i get dressed i look at my clothes and i think: these are mine, but i feel strange about them, can't explain.

I bought some new clothes but it didn't help....

[Guest [wo...]]

DP/DR is a hard thing to go through, makes us feel a little insane right? I'm only at 4 months off but since I get it on and off, I know it subsides and it helps. I wish we could skip this part since it makes it really difficult to hang on. We need to feel safe at home but we don't recognize it anymore. It gets scary. We can't escape to a safe place anymore but it won't last, we'll get it back!

 

Keep us posted

[[Ce...]]

Whaha, it's morning here, 10.15 am exactly!! I'm sitting in the garden right now and it's getting hot today.

 

Thx 4 ur reply!

 

Good night sleeping for you cece!

 

 

It's 4.00, now in the midwest USA and now you are probably asleep!  Such craziness...

[[Jo...]]

Oh my.. I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this too...  :'( it's really painful. It will go away, our brains just don't know it yet, they are not ready to believe it but it will and soon I'm sure.

 

It's frustrating because it feels rational to you right now to think it won't go away, I know the feeling. We are tired and it's hard to believe anyone saying we'll feel much better at one point. I yearn for the same relief you're desperately trying to achieve. We WILL find it.

 

In the meantime, can you move furniture around? I do it once a week and it helps. It makes my surroundings different enough for a while. I also use different dishes or linens because the usual ones remind me of my suffering. Wow that really sounds silly but you know... whatever works right?

 

Thanks worrymiss,

 

I tried to change some things, but I think it's also a disconnected kind of feeling.

Everyday when i get dressed i look at my clothes and i think: these are mine, but i feel strange about them, can't explain.

I bought some new clothes but it didn't help....

 

YES! This.  I couldn't put my finger on the clothes issue or things like that.  But that's what it is.  I look at my clothes, or my jewelry, my wedding rings, or my hair, and don't feel like these things are the same.  They're mine, but not.  I just feel strange and disconnected from them.

 

But most definitely my house and just about every single thing about it.  About a month ago I got a wild hair and bought new paint and started repainting our dining room and living room.  Now on to our spare bedroom.  Took a few weekends because I have NO strength or real energy.  Then I sold a few pieces of furniture on FB sale sites and Craigslist, and used the money to buy new stuff.  It was almost a desperation to get rid of my old things.  I couldn't stand to look at anything anymore and also realized everything was dark.  Dark brown, black, that was every room.  I'm wondering if I was just a dark person during benzo use.

 

I definitely crave lightness and color now. My DH just shakes his head and goes along.  He's the best, helps me pick up whatever furniture I've bought and does all the hanging, moving, etc.

 

I love decorating so I don't mind this part.  But like you, I'm hoping to just feel more normal or more like myself and a bit more connected.  Although I don't really know what's normal or who my "true self" is anymore.... Things are much better, but this bit of feeling disconnectedness is bothersome.

 

You're not alone!

[[Si...]]

Yes, even when I comb my hair it feels like I'm combing someone else's ......