question of sx coinciding

[[kr...]]

Hope i can explain this...I am realizing that these "waves" always happen just before an event or during something like a fight or after too much physical activity.

The nerves are the worst and I keep think why do i have to have this goin on NOW when I need to be taking care of something...how much is this our cns not being able to handle the littlest stresses?? cause if it were chemical, would it just happen randomly?? makes me wonder if I have just subcons regressed cause of too dang much stress over prev yrs - my timing is hard to say cause the klon use and tolerance was same time as all the stress and depressive stuff...not like i was just living in one place, w my fam, doing the daily grind at a job 9-5

I have to say i have improved since over a yr ago. Its just odd that I seem best, when Im at the beach, no stressors coming my way etc I can jog and think positive, but, then its back when i most need my faculties intact!

[[Ma...]]

I think we all have a system that has been instabil for so many years and has to learn to cope by himself with impulses.

on the other hand our psyche is used to have fear and subconsciously we feel that all the time.

If you would paint a picture of this I would see a frightened little animal which is not used to a normal life -

so it has to be trained step by step for a very long time.

 

Of course waves show up when you know you have things to manage or after stress - both situations are stressors.

But avoiding it cant be the solution.

 

Perhaps you can see it like sitting on a seesaw? we have to learn to balance it out, right?

For me, I decided to accept myself as a hysterical unstable woman for the next 2 years and that gives me kind of peace inside:-)

 

Just be kind to yourself - and be aware that things might feel worse than they are because our brain is used to that catastopjal mode we had during WD.

 

Hug,

Marigold

[[kr...]]

thanks Marigold for all the well written thoughts. Im just down and worryin bout why Im feelin my cns beat up when I was improving. Self compassion is what we need i guess, and trust

 

[[...]]

Hey kris, I'm sorry you're having a rough go of it lately.  I still run into the same outcome as you do. It's either too much physical activity or a stressful situation that still ramps me up too much. For me I've found that talking to a counselor/therapist for stress management has helped me a lot. It doesn't stop the sxs when they flare up, but helps me to deal with them and manage the stress/anxieties of my life much better. Basically it's just life coaching. Anyone can benefit from it. My first therapist only wanted me to meditate and refused to believe that I was going through benzo wd, so I ditched her. I also reach out to people I know who seem to have mastered a few things in their lives and I pick their brains to find out how they get through stuff. This forum is great for that and it has helped me tremendously, but I think it's even better to find the right people where you are that you can trust and talk to in person. The more support we can get the better off we'll be.  There's a lot of wisdom out there, we just have to search it out.

 

I hope you feel better soon! I'm praying for you. rj.

[[kr...]]

Thanks RJ  I have tried some therapy and same thing, didn't believe or try to understand benzo stuff. Mostly thought reframing and relaxation techniques I already know. The cranio sacral lady i went to had some insightfull things to say as she had some psychology background. I have to let things unfold and trust my own decisions. Not be all or nothing now or never, like the worlds gonna end soon or life depends on what I do right or wrong. Take baby steps w smaller decisions and goals. (my friend Sandy would say...Faith basically. I dont see her often but she is a shining light. Havent told her details) Before klon I was determined and go for it person. Odd that since bf been back Ive been slipping back it seems. Even though he does help w stuff. Anyway its comforting to know you and others are thinkin of me

[[...]]

It will get better for you. It will.  It just takes such a long time for our brains to heal. This whole process is very grueling. I'm still not the same person yet I used to be, I'm getting there slowly though and so are you.  When our brains heal we will see things so much different than we do now. That's why someone told me way back when I started WD to not trust my feelings because they are going to be unreliable for a while. All's we can do is just hang on.  I know it sure gets old doesn't it. Be well. RJ.