What to expect after Valium reinstate??? Scariest thing ever

[[Ti...]]

What should i expect from taking 5 pills of valium 5mg each after stopping for 55 days?  Is this going to be a horrible wirhdrawal?  I've already noticed the valium does nothing for me. Now it seems my side effects are 10 times more severe and im just now of off it again.  Please help

[[Ju...]]

Timmy, for one, you can expect us to ask, WHY ARE YOU REINSTATING ?

Could be your brain sees valium as a toxin, (which i believe they call a paradoxical reaction).

Are you desperate because of anxiety, or ? You say that s/x are 10 times worse, and

have stopped. I see that as a good thing. What are you current symptoms?

 

-Jman

[[bl...]]

Hello Timmyp !

I'm so sorry that you are struggling relentlessly hun!!

Each withdrawal (reinstating and then stopping numerous times) does intensify sxs (as you now know by experience) and more severe. I know it's PURE HELL dealing with the sxs, but even though right now it does not at all "feel" like the sxs will ever let up! I promise you they WILL but in orderfor that to happen, one must not ever take another benzodiazipine. These crazy, bizzare, horrid mental and physical sxs will eventually let up!! I know it hurts like complete hell!!! Goodness, don't I know. It will get better Timmyp and I know it hurts soooooo dang bad! You really are much strong then you mind is telling you. You WILL get better!! I promise, please believe me!! This nasty pain WILL lessen and you WILL feel like a well abled human again!! Your brain IS working very hard to get back to homeostasis and it WILL do that very thing, Timmyp! You are still experiencing acute withdrawal. It WILL get better sweetheart, I promise you!!

 

Even though you do not feel like it (and your mind tells you over and over that you will not get better.....YES HELL YOU WILL!!) Because you really, really really WILL!! Yes, this is a long process and it worth it (even though RIGHT NOW it doesn't" feel" like it, it really will get so much much better, Timmyp!!! BIG

Please hang in there!!! BIG

[[Re...]]

Timmy,

 

My real name is Tim, too....and I'm kind of new here.  That said, I've read quite a few of your posts.  Like me, you're not working right now and have a place to stay with family.  Take advantage of this situation by not taking another benzo.  Better to do it now while you have few responsibilities.  Lock yourself in your room for a few weeks if you have to and watch happy movies.  Lie out at night under the stars if that suits you.  Just get through it.  This is the perfect time to get through a tough withdrawal.  The sooner you do this, the sooner you'll be able to get on with the rest of your life.

[[Da...]]

Hi Timmy, I don't believe it will be that bad, I have not been through that myself.  But the longer you take the valium the worse the symptoms, and it may be exponentially getting worse.

[[Re...]]

I agree with Revellion, take advantage of this time. I locked myself up in my room for a whole month while i was in acute. These past few weeks have gotten as bad as acute again. You know what i am doing? Hiding out in my room till it passes with movies and puzzles. Its the only thing we can do till it passes.

 

I cant even count how many times i have wanted to take a rescue dose. I never do though because i know its not going to help in the long run. The sooner you stop taking rescue doses the better things will get for you. You keep reliving this hell because you keep taking rescue doses. Tough it out this time around. You can do it my friend.

 

It might seem like your failing at this right now. I can tell  that your not though. Because you keep on trying and trying. You cant have success without failure. Really go for it this time around and avoid benzos at all costs. Throw them all out so its not a option that's what i did. Please please please dont take any more benzos.

 

Best of luck

 

 

[[Ti...]]

Thanks to all of you. Im not reinstating but i did take onexlastcnight on my drive home from Orlando. I'm beginning to think i have depression on top of this and this is why its mjch worse. Are you guys telling mecto lock myselfcin my room and not reach for an anti depressant also?

[[Ti...]]

Timmy, for one, you can expect us to ask, WHY ARE YOU REINSTATING ?

Could be your brain sees valium as a toxin, (which i believe they call a paradoxical reaction).

Are you desperate because of anxiety, or ? You say that s/x are 10 times worse, and

have stopped. I see that as a good thing. What are you current symptoms?

 

-Jman

 

 

Current symptons

 

Burning eyes, massive chest / Heart pain , flu like sickness , depression, akisthasia  and tinitis

[[il...]]

Thanks to all of you. Im not reinstating but i did take onexlastcnight on my drive home from Orlando. I'm beginning to think i have depression on top of this and this is why its mjch worse. Are you guys telling mecto lock myselfcin my room and not reach for an anti depressant also?

 

"Beginning" to think you have depression? Dude, do you not WANT to learn anything here? Do you talk like this to be funny? Are you sitting there behind your computer laughing?

 

Do you ENJOY affecting people by announcing your poor decisions that may, in turn, be tempting them? Is this all one joke to you?

 

Do you enjoy getting a rise out of people? Has NOTHING sunk in yet?

 

Not ONE person I've met on here would willingly go to the ER and ACCEPT a benzo, because they're horrified that the BENZO is what did THIS to them. You blame the ER like a child, but you go and ask for them, or accept the benzo when they offer it. You WILLINGLY do this to yourself.

 

You're speaking like it's your first day on this forum? You *think* you have depression? What the hell is making you wonder anymore? It's WITHDRAWAL from the drug you continue to use.

 

Why are you surprised to hear people say that they hid in a room, or that you should? You *know* I lived like a monk for 6 months.

 

You need to go find a forum that supports people who are on benzos, not POST-withdrawal RECOVERY.

 

You speak like valium is safe, like you still need it for a detox. Valium, Xanax, Klonopin, Ativan, any I haven't mentioned, NONE are safe, ALL are benzos.

 

At this point, Timmy, you're going to keep yourself in this for over a year like you feared so much. But, then again, how much did you fear it if you've reinstated/rescued a dozen times? Couldn't have feared it like I did, or anyone I've come to know. You keep dancing with the devil, you'll keep getting burned. And I wish you'd take your dumb "I have no idea why I feel this way" act somewhere else. THANK GOD i'm feeling so much better and I'm on here a fraction of the time I used to be.

 

AND BEFORE ANYONE TRIES TO SCOLD ME FOR SPEAKING IN THIS TONE ON A SUPPORT FORUM - I'VE TRIED PERSONALLY SUPPORTING TIM ALMOST SINCE DAY 1, TO NO AVAIL. AT THIS POINT, IT'S INSULTING THAT ANYONE WOULD EVER TAKE ONE OF THOSE PIECES OF POISION, ANNOUNCE IT, PLAY DUMB, ACT INNOCENT, AND THEN VICTIMIZE THEMSELVES.

[[il...]]

"What should I expect from taking ..."

 

Like, what?! It's a BENZO. EXPECT MORE OF WHAT YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN THROUGH AND ARE STILL GOING THROUGH!

[[Ti...]]

"What should I expect from taking ..."

 

Like, what?! It's a BENZO. EXPECT MORE OF WHAT YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN THROUGH AND ARE STILL GOING THROUGH!

 

This coming from a guy who "drank heavily " during his wirhdrawal. 

[[Ra...]]

 

"Beginning" to think you have depression? Dude, do you not WANT to learn anything here? Do you talk like this to be funny? Are you sitting there behind your computer laughing?

 

He's trying. I've been talking to Tim personally for 3 weeks now as he's given me every symptom. I can assure you that he is not sitting behind his computer laughing at any of this.

 

Do you ENJOY affecting people by announcing your poor decisions that may, in turn, be tempting them? Is this all one joke to you?

 

I'm sure he does. I'm sure he enjoys admitting he messed up. That makes sense.

 

Do you enjoy getting a rise out of people? Has NOTHING sunk in yet?

 

I could ask the same of you for this entire post.

 

Not ONE person I've met on here would willingly go to the ER and ACCEPT a benzo, because they're horrified that the BENZO is what did THIS to them. You blame the ER like a child, but you go and ask for them, or accept the benzo when they offer it. You WILLINGLY do this to yourself.

 

He actually went to the ER and declined benzos twice. Once they gave him an antihistamine which he took for once. You have no idea how high his pulse rate or blood pressure was. It was in the danger zone.

 

You're speaking like it's your first day on this forum? You *think* you have depression? What the hell is making you wonder anymore? It's WITHDRAWAL from the drug you continue to use.

 

You don't know his story clearly, or you would know he does suffer from severe depression. Put his severe depression in with benzo withdrawal and it has been nasty to him. I'm not saying nobody has gone through this, but clearly you're lacking compassion.

 

You need to go find a forum that supports people who are on benzos, not POST-withdrawal RECOVERY.

 

He needs to be treated like a human being, something you are not doing at the moment.

 

You speak like valium is safe, like you still need it for a detox. Valium, Xanax, Klonopin, Ativan, any I haven't mentioned, NONE are safe, ALL are benzos.

 

This is true. Do you think Tim is not aware of this? The problem is he's had 2 rapid detox's now and maybe you haven't heard of kindling. We've talked about it and what he needs to do is get a script, reinstate and slow taper so he can be more comfortable. Right now he's at risk of seizure and you're telling him to stay off of it. How smart is that?

 

At this point, Timmy, you're going to keep yourself in this for over a year like you feared so much. But, then again, how much did you fear it if you've reinstated/rescued a dozen times? Couldn't have feared it like I did, or anyone I've come to know. You keep dancing with the devil, you'll keep getting burned. And I wish you'd take your dumb "I have no idea why I feel this way" act somewhere else. THANK GOD i'm feeling so much better and I'm on here a fraction of the time I used to be.

 

Maybe you should just stay off of here if you can't deal with the pain people are going through. What happened to the empathy you were suppose to gain by getting off benzos? I don't see it in this post one bit.

 

AND BEFORE ANYONE TRIES TO SCOLD ME FOR SPEAKING IN THIS TONE ON A SUPPORT FORUM - I'VE TRIED PERSONALLY SUPPORTING TIM ALMOST SINCE DAY 1, TO NO AVAIL. AT THIS POINT, IT'S INSULTING THAT ANYONE WOULD EVER TAKE ONE OF THOSE PIECES OF POISION, ANNOUNCE IT, PLAY DUMB, ACT INNOCENT, AND THEN VICTIMIZE THEMSELVES.

 

He needs help. He's in almost literally the only place that will help him. Doctors are clueless. You talking down to him isn't going to help his situation.

 

Look at all the other posts offering support. Offering hugs. Telling him to hang in there. You have no idea how close to the edge he is. And yet you come in here and post this crap. Like he doesn't feel bad enough already? Are you serious? Maybe you should just stay off here and let some people with compassion for other human beings do the talking.

[[Ki...]]

TimmyP and Illneverdothisagain,

 

This thread is going downhill, please get back on track or move along.

 

You both agreed to the rules when you joined the forum:

 

Be polite towards, and respectful of, your fellow Buddies. We do not tolerate attacks upon fellow members. Any account created for the purposes of causing arguments and/or ill-feeling will be banned.

 

If you don't agree with one another, and have no support to offer each other, please go ahead and use the 'block member' function. This way, you will not see each others posts and we can keep the forum running smoothly.

 

Thank you,

 

Kiddo1977

 

 

[[Ra...]]

The more people that tell Tim that he needs to get a script and reinstate and start a SLOW taper, the better. Because he is seriously putting himself at risk. Negative posts are not going to help a depressed person. I don't care who you are, they aren't going to.

 

I don't see another way at this point. I really don't. He can try to push through it, but it's going to be hell. I think reinstatement with a slow taper is the only thing that's going to work.

 

But what Tim needs right now is people that are going to support him through this tough time. If anyone has any better ideas than reinstatement, I'm all for it, but I've tried nearly everything else with him. He's sensitive to magnesium and anything else that works on gaba. So, anything natural isn't going to help.

 

 

[[er...]]

Thanks to all of you. Im not reinstating but i did take onexlastcnight on my drive home from Orlando. I'm beginning to think i have depression on top of this and this is why its mjch worse. Are you guys telling mecto lock myselfcin my room and not reach for an anti depressant also?

 

"Beginning" to think you have depression? Dude, do you not WANT to learn anything here? Do you talk like this to be funny? Are you sitting there behind your computer laughing?

 

Do you ENJOY affecting people by announcing your poor decisions that may, in turn, be tempting them? Is this all one joke to you?

 

Do you enjoy getting a rise out of people? Has NOTHING sunk in yet?

 

Not ONE person I've met on here would willingly go to the ER and ACCEPT a benzo, because they're horrified that the BENZO is what did THIS to them. You blame the ER like a child, but you go and ask for them, or accept the benzo when they offer it. You WILLINGLY do this to yourself.

 

You're speaking like it's your first day on this forum? You *think* you have depression? What the hell is making you wonder anymore? It's WITHDRAWAL from the drug you continue to use.

 

Why are you surprised to hear people say that they hid in a room, or that you should? You *know* I lived like a monk for 6 months.

 

You need to go find a forum that supports people who are on benzos, not POST-withdrawal RECOVERY.

 

You speak like valium is safe, like you still need it for a detox. Valium, Xanax, Klonopin, Ativan, any I haven't mentioned, NONE are safe, ALL are benzos.

 

At this point, Timmy, you're going to keep yourself in this for over a year like you feared so much. But, then again, how much did you fear it if you've reinstated/rescued a dozen times? Couldn't have feared it like I did, or anyone I've come to know. You keep dancing with the devil, you'll keep getting burned. And I wish you'd take your dumb "I have no idea why I feel this way" act somewhere else. THANK GOD i'm feeling so much better and I'm on here a fraction of the time I used to be.

 

AND BEFORE ANYONE TRIES TO SCOLD ME FOR SPEAKING IN THIS TONE ON A SUPPORT FORUM - I'VE TRIED PERSONALLY SUPPORTING TIM ALMOST SINCE DAY 1, TO NO AVAIL. AT THIS POINT, IT'S INSULTING THAT ANYONE WOULD EVER TAKE ONE OF THOSE PIECES OF POISION, ANNOUNCE IT, PLAY DUMB, ACT INNOCENT, AND THEN VICTIMIZE THEMSELVES.

 

I agree 100% with Illnevrrdothisagain.  But, since Timmy obviously isn't through his benzo use, can he please move his posts off of the "post withdrawal recovery support" forum?  I think that would be the most helpful for all.  I for one, who has tapered off, over 7 grueling months, and have been benzo free for over 5 months don't want to hear about someone who keeps using benzos anytime the going gets rough. 

[[Be...]]

Tim

 

You are gonna  kindle . I know you know what that means.

 

If you don't stop going to the ER we are all gonna get together and drop you in an island with no benzos and leave you tiger for two years. We will leave you food , may be:)

[[Ti...]]

Thanks to all of you. Im not reinstating but i did take onexlastcnight on my drive home from Orlando. I'm beginning to think i have depression on top of this and this is why its mjch worse. Are you guys telling mecto lock myselfcin my room and not reach for an anti depressant also?

 

"Beginning" to think you have depression? Dude, do you not WANT to learn anything here? Do you talk like this to be funny? Are you sitting there behind your computer laughing?

 

Do you ENJOY affecting people by announcing your poor decisions that may, in turn, be tempting them? Is this all one joke to you?

 

Do you enjoy getting a rise out of people? Has NOTHING sunk in yet?

 

Not ONE person I've met on here would willingly go to the ER and ACCEPT a benzo, because they're horrified that the BENZO is what did THIS to them. You blame the ER like a child, but you go and ask for them, or accept the benzo when they offer it. You WILLINGLY do this to yourself.

 

You're speaking like it's your first day on this forum? You *think* you have depression? What the hell is making you wonder anymore? It's WITHDRAWAL from the drug you continue to use.

 

Why are you surprised to hear people say that they hid in a room, or that you should? You *know* I lived like a monk for 6 months.

 

You need to go find a forum that supports people who are on benzos, not POST-withdrawal RECOVERY.

 

You speak like valium is safe, like you still need it for a detox. Valium, Xanax, Klonopin, Ativan, any I haven't mentioned, NONE are safe, ALL are benzos.

 

At this point, Timmy, you're going to keep yourself in this for over a year like you feared so much. But, then again, how much did you fear it if you've reinstated/rescued a dozen times? Couldn't have feared it like I did, or anyone I've come to know. You keep dancing with the devil, you'll keep getting burned. And I wish you'd take your dumb "I have no idea why I feel this way" act somewhere else. THANK GOD i'm feeling so much better and I'm on here a fraction of the time I used to be.

 

AND BEFORE ANYONE TRIES TO SCOLD ME FOR SPEAKING IN THIS TONE ON A SUPPORT FORUM - I'VE TRIED PERSONALLY SUPPORTING TIM ALMOST SINCE DAY 1, TO NO AVAIL. AT THIS POINT, IT'S INSULTING THAT ANYONE WOULD EVER TAKE ONE OF THOSE PIECES OF POISION, ANNOUNCE IT, PLAY DUMB, ACT INNOCENT, AND THEN VICTIMIZE THEMSELVES.

 

I agree 100% with Illnevrrdothisagain.  But, since Timmy obviously isn't through his benzo use, can he please move his posts off of the "post withdrawal recovery support" forum?  I think that would be the most helpful for all.  I for one, who has tapered off, over 7 grueling months, and have been benzo free for over 5 months don't want to hear about someone who keeps using benzos anytime the going gets rough.

 

Then don't read the posts i create. Pretty easy right?  Or block me.  Get a clue bro

[[Ti...]]

Tim

 

You are gonna  kindle . I know you know what that means.

 

If you don't stop going to the ER we are all gonna get together and drop you in an island with no benzos and leave you tiger for two years. We will leave you food , may be:)

 

Kindling isnt something that has been proven has it. Please fil me in on exactly what,kindling is? Thanks

[[Da...]]

Guys first of all anybody can start a post in any forum that they choose and ask a question. There is no requirement for time off benzos or how many times you may have a relapsed. I agree with Timmy 100% that if you like his posts don't read them. Don't answer if you have a problem with it. His question is about benzo use so he can post it.

 

Give the man a break, help a brother out.

[[il...]]

Guys first of all anybody can start a post in any forum that they choose and ask a question. There is no requirement for time off benzos or how many times you may have a relapsed. I agree with Timmy 100% that if you like his posts don't read them. Don't answer if you have a problem with it. His question is about benzo use so he can post it.

 

Give the man a break, help a brother out.

 

Davis,

 

I'm unnotifying myself from this thread, but before I do, I just want to point out that I did help a brother out, for months. He knows what he needs to do and doesn't do it. In *any* situation in life, *anyone* would be frustrated giving advice that's never taken. That's all I have to say.

 

Oh, and, yes, anyone *could* post wherever they want, but there are also reasons why there are specific topics/areas to post about certain things. You answer the same questions for 6-8 months, then come talk to me, k?

[[er...]]

Thanks to all of you. Im not reinstating but i did take onexlastcnight on my drive home from Orlando. I'm beginning to think i have depression on top of this and this is why its mjch worse. Are you guys telling mecto lock myselfcin my room and not reach for an anti depressant also?

 

"Beginning" to think you have depression? Dude, do you not WANT to learn anything here? Do you talk like this to be funny? Are you sitting there behind your computer laughing?

 

Do you ENJOY affecting people by announcing your poor decisions that may, in turn, be tempting them? Is this all one joke to you?

 

Do you enjoy getting a rise out of people? Has NOTHING sunk in yet?

 

Not ONE person I've met on here would willingly go to the ER and ACCEPT a benzo, because they're horrified that the BENZO is what did THIS to them. You blame the ER like a child, but you go and ask for them, or accept the benzo when they offer it. You WILLINGLY do this to yourself.

 

You're speaking like it's your first day on this forum? You *think* you have depression? What the hell is making you wonder anymore? It's WITHDRAWAL from the drug you continue to use.

 

Why are you surprised to hear people say that they hid in a room, or that you should? You *know* I lived like a monk for 6 months.

 

You need to go find a forum that supports people who are on benzos, not POST-withdrawal RECOVERY.

 

You speak like valium is safe, like you still need it for a detox. Valium, Xanax, Klonopin, Ativan, any I haven't mentioned, NONE are safe, ALL are benzos.

 

At this point, Timmy, you're going to keep yourself in this for over a year like you feared so much. But, then again, how much did you fear it if you've reinstated/rescued a dozen times? Couldn't have feared it like I did, or anyone I've come to know. You keep dancing with the devil, you'll keep getting burned. And I wish you'd take your dumb "I have no idea why I feel this way" act somewhere else. THANK GOD i'm feeling so much better and I'm on here a fraction of the time I used to be.

 

AND BEFORE ANYONE TRIES TO SCOLD ME FOR SPEAKING IN THIS TONE ON A SUPPORT FORUM - I'VE TRIED PERSONALLY SUPPORTING TIM ALMOST SINCE DAY 1, TO NO AVAIL. AT THIS POINT, IT'S INSULTING THAT ANYONE WOULD EVER TAKE ONE OF THOSE PIECES OF POISION, ANNOUNCE IT, PLAY DUMB, ACT INNOCENT, AND THEN VICTIMIZE THEMSELVES.

 

I agree 100% with Illnevrrdothisagain.  But, since Timmy obviously isn't through his benzo use, can he please move his posts off of the "post withdrawal recovery support" forum?  I think that would be the most helpful for all.  I for one, who has tapered off, over 7 grueling months, and have been benzo free for over 5 months don't want to hear about someone who keeps using benzos anytime the going gets rough.

 

Then don't read the posts i create. Pretty easy right?  Or block me.  Get a clue bro

 

Hey Timmy,

 

Good luck with your benzo use - I don't feel the least bit sorry for you.  You're selfish and all you want is sympathy.  Get honest - go to NA and get off the pity pot.  Try to act like a man - you're 43, not 13..

[[Ju...]]

Timmy, for one, you can expect us to ask, WHY ARE YOU REINSTATING ?

Could be your brain sees valium as a toxin, (which i believe they call a paradoxical reaction).

Are you desperate because of anxiety, or ? You say that s/x are 10 times worse, and

have stopped. I see that as a good thing. What are you current symptoms?

 

-Jman

 

 

 

Current symptons

 

Burning eyes, massive chest / Heart pain , flu like sickness , depression, akisthasia  and tinitis

 

Hi Timmy;

OK, let's work with those one at a time. I get the burning eyes; it's our body detoxing through sweat, tears, etc. so we have temporary 'toxic tears. I just frequently flush with water. You can use visine too, but water helps. Sounds like you have a lot of muscle pain; how well do you tolerate Ibuprofen? follow the directions on the bottle. I take 200mg per day, not every day.Another old remedy for body aches, apple vinegar, about 1 oz, with a tsp of honey every 8 hrs, add a sprinkle of Turmeric from your spice shelf.  Depression is

a tough beast to beat. I'm on a Tricyclic, Imipriamine, as I had bad reactions with the SSRI's. Remeron helped, an SNRI that seemed easy to take (few side effects) You can googol those. Aside from your rescue dose, I recommend you stop taking any more Benzos. Once you're 30 days Benzo free, you should take advantage of  part II of this list posted by a fellow BB'er, possible one of the best links on BBuddies. http://www.longecity.org/forum/topic/54028-treating-anxiety-safely-effectively/

I know it's a lot to read,

but if you want to be healthy again, it's gonna take some work and self-discipline.

Good luck Timmy,

-Justaman

Tinitis will go away in time. At the most, it's annoying. You haven't listed anxiety or panic attacks, you lucky dog.

[[WW...]]

Im not reinstating but i did take onexlastcnight on my drive home from Orlando. I'm beginning to think i have depression on top of this and this is why its mjch worse. Are you guys telling mecto lock myselfcin my room and not reach for an anti depressant also?

 

I don't understand why you're posting in a recovery forum. I haven't been here very long, but all of your posts show that you're still using and/or are struggling to taper. Why do you keep asking the same questions over and over again without paying any attention to peoples' answers?

 

If you're so miserable in "recovery" that you have to go to the ER, why are you driving?

 

If you want to be off psychotropic drugs, you have to do the hard, gruelling work of getting off and staying off - no  matter how terrible you feel. This includes anti-depressants.

 

 

[[Ti...]]

Im not reinstating but i did take onexlastcnight on my drive home from Orlando. I'm beginning to think i have depression on top of this and this is why its mjch worse. Are you guys telling mecto lock myselfcin my room and not reach for an anti depressant also?

 

I don't understand why you're posting in a recovery forum. I haven't been here very long, but all of your posts show that you're still using and/or are struggling to taper. Why do you keep asking the same questions over and over again without paying any attention to peoples' answers?

 

If you're so miserable in "recovery" that you have to go to the ER, why are you driving?

 

If you want to be off psychotropic drugs, you have to do the hard, gruelling work of getting off and staying off - no  matter how terrible you feel. This includes anti-depressants.

 

I,dont know where youre geting your information from but i have been off for 55 days before i wentcto ER.  Why was i driving? Because I'm trying my hardest to get through this. I think im a little stronger than you think. Today though i am stuck in my bed.  Im struggling but it's my fault for accepting the dose at ER.  Ever since i quit ive been suffering awful pain

[[so...]]

Tim,

 

I do understand Willnever's frustration with you.  It's the same frustration many of us feel with you and your posts of feeling horrible in withdrawal and continuing to reinstate and take rescue doses that you should never do unless you want to stay in this state.

 

Tim, we all feel terrible in withdrawal.  Your withdrawal experience is no more horrible than the rest of us.  The way you are handling withdrawal, however, is more chaotic and fearful and childlike than the rest of us.  I feel for you.  It's like you don't have any inner strength deep down to pull from.  We are all in a tornado right now.  Many of us spend all day trying to tether ourselves to a tree in the midst of the chaos to "ground" ourselves.  You are "free floating" in the tornado and letting it bash the daylights out of you and you keep grabbing for benzos to calm the chaos, which only feeds it, intensifies it and keeps you in it.

 

Then you talk about taking an antidepressant?  Another dangerous psyche pill to feed the withdrawal beast.  Tim,  you have two choices:  Continue taking pills or stop taking pills.  That choice is yours and yours alone.

 

You have successfully raised sympathy and concern for you of many members on this forum, some of whom have come to believe from your posts that your symptoms are worse, or more dangerous, than their own.  If you read many many posts from other forum members, you will find several members who share your symptoms.  Chest pain, high heart rate, depression, anxiety, etc., which are being experienced by all of us.  You are no different than the rest of us, except in the way you are so poorly handling withdrawal.  Your symptoms are not unusual or abnormal.  You are in no more danger than any of us. 

 

The problem is you have not made your choice which is the right way to go.  You are on the fence as to whether you need to take drugs or not to live a good life.  Once you make your choice, you'll be halfway there.  The other half is sticking with your choice. 

 

Sofa