1 YEAR Ativan Free.

[[Ki...]]

[move]ITS MY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY![/move]

 

Month 12: 68-70%

Window(ish) Days: 7

 

Wow! One year benzo free. It's so hard to believe that I've made it this far. I've come a long way since sitting in my closet wrapped up in a blanket with head phones on, listening to a rain app on my iPod because I couldn't handle any stimulation AT ALL. That was after going cold turkey, not realizing benzos were bad news, then getting back on, then making a 25% cut all in the span of a week. Those were some really dark days.

 

Then I found this forum, stabilized, and began a 22 month taper that was filled with so many up and downs, I thought I'd never make it. Now I'm 365 days post benzos and life is getting better. Much better.

 

That's not to say I'm not still in recovery. I am. Some days it's VERY obvious that I still have a lot of healing to do...other days things are pretty "easy" as far as withdrawal goes. Month 11 was great, this month though was back to the roller coaster. The hardest thing to deal with this month was the erratic nature of recovery. I would go from good to very bad in minutes or vice versa. 

 

But here I am.

 

Last night I hosted a BBQ at my home for 27 people, most of whom do not know what I've gone through. I had a great time, no anxiety/stress. This was the first time since benzos I've taken on something like this and it was a complete success. And you know what I feel today? Tired. That's it. No blowback, just regular old tired because I stayed up too late. But it was worth it.

 

As far as symptoms go....I'm still dealing with lots. They are mostly dialed back but can still rear up and take hold for a few days to a week. But in an effort to keep this post celebratory I'm not going to list the sx I have, but instead, list the ones that are gone.

 

Symptoms that are gone (hopefully for good)

Nerve Burn

Low back pain

Internal Vibrations

Tremors

Daily Headaches/Migraines

Severe Floaty/Boaty/Disequilibrium

Severe Fatigue

Pins and Needles

Numbness

Extreme cold hands/feet

Daily Panic/Anxiety

Dry Eyes (can wear contacts again)

GI Stuff

Suicide Ideation

Moderate-Severe Depression

Daily inconsolable crying

Moderate-Severe Stress Intolerance

Moderate-Severe Exercise Intolerance

Agitation/Anger

Akathesia

 

Now my next big milestone will be at 18 months! I'm ready.

 

[[Ce...]]

[move]HAPPY ANNIVERSARY KIDDO!!!![/move]

 

Congrats! You really sound like you are doing well. Can't wait to be where you are! Enjoy having your life back!! One year is quite an accomplishment.

[[...]]

I couldnt be more happyfor you.

I cannot imagine what you went through.

I have most of same syptom.

Hope one day i can have same level of healing.

You are a true winner!

I can really relate.

[[Bu...]]

Congratulations on being one year benzo free and feeling so much better!  So glad many of your sxs are gone and others are decreasing!!  Thanks for posting-it gave me a much needed lift today 

[[Te...]]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!  :thumbsup:

 

Hosting a BBQ for 27 people!!! Wow, I couldn't do that after a year. Keep going; you're doing great!!!

[[bc...]]

Congratulations, Kiddo....a year is a great milestone and you have come so far in your healing...   ..and so many of those ugly symptoms, gone....AWESOME!!..

 

I am still struggling with a lot of those symptoms....hoping that some leave sooner than later.

 

Wishing you continued healing......

[[La...]]

 

[[be...]]

Wow, one year. That is a huge milestone. You are going to make it all the way. You really are. Just look how far you have come so far. I know they are days that you struggle, but you did an amazing job with your taper. You should be really proud of yourself. I know I am. Love ya kiddo!  :smitten:

[[Re...]]

Thank you for keeping the post upbeat!  It inspires me! Keep going! 

[[Lo...]]

Hello Kiddo! Congrats to you! Wow I remember your jump and the dark days! Those days are long gone! So happy for you!

[[Ao...]]

CONGRATULATIONS KIDDO

 

I am so pleased for you. When I see this , it really does give me hope.