Currently on 17.5mg of diaz self prescribed. Supplies running out going on HOLID

[[Ma...]]

Hi folks,

 

Ive been on and off benzos since going c/t about 7 years ago.

 

My latest benzo addiction took hold about 2 years ago maybe less. In the form of a recently banned rc diclazepam. I was taking stupid amounts 7x 2mg a day which is roughly about 140mg of DIAZepam.

 

I got it down to a steady 2mg a day or the diaz equivalent of 20mg which lasted a year then the UK government banned them before i could taper.

 

Ive been using 20mg of diazepam a day for around about 6 months. I made my first reduction last week to 17.5mg i know this isnt following the 10% rule  but im dry cutting.

 

Anyway ive been finding it okish, possibly feeling a tat jittery around 4pm as i take 7.5mg in the am and a whole 10mg at bedtime. But its managable.

 

Ive been buying off the darknet or via freinds of freinds so my supply and amounts can vary.

 

I must add im seeing a social work addictions officer weekley as i live with my partner and her 3 children (my addiction never gets in the way of family life) she has reffered me to a CPN  (community phychiatriac nurse) for evaluation which has been going in for about 4 months and im getting nowhere. My last benzo addiction i sought help through a drugs project here in Scotland that done a few weeks of counciling, urine tests etc then they advised id start a prescribed tappering schedule...which i screwed up and missed a few appointments and was thrown off and went through cold turkey which was hell on earth, i quiver thinkjng of it now.

 

Anyway i was expecting the same service but god things have changed in those years and this whole palavour is taking a long time aswell as i feel im just getting pushed from pillar to post. My last meeting i was advised i would have a meeting with a phychiatrist. No mention of prescribing for a taper but possibly.

 

Anyway to my main point.

 

Ive been let down by a seller on a darknet site and im going away on holiday from monday and back on Friday and only have 20mg of diazepam left

 

Im very confident my order will be here for when i get back but i took 10mg this morning and im starting to feel crap now PM here in Scotland, bareable but want to know if i can perhaps space out my last 20mg so i dont have bad withdrawals/cold turkey hitting when im on a family holiday.

 

Im considering calling our healthcare systems out of hours service called NHS 24 and seeing if they can help but getting benzons prescribed in this country is darn near impossible, especially for someone like me who has been self prescribing.

 

Hope this makes sense and someone can shed some light on my what looks like dark week ahead.

 

Thank you

Peace, love and saor alba

❤

[[Ch...]]

I don't think there's any taper plan that can make 20mg of diazepam last for a week without withdrawal setting in, especially when you're on 17.5mg daily.

 

This may not be the best time for a family holiday as you could start feeling pretty ill.

[[be...]]

If you are currently feeling like "crap" after taking just 10 mg my guess is that 20 mg spread out for five day period will bring on withdrawal symptoms. I certainly give the NHS a try and see if they can help you out until you get back.

[[Ma...]]

When i say say i feel pretty crap i didnt really mean i was feeling withdrawal crap. I haven't done myself any favours by stressing about not having enough i may still be able to obtain some to get me through my holiday, so that anxiety has possibly been heighted, plus not eating much as the feeling of letting down my fiance and the kids is probably magnified.

 

I dont have any withdrawl feelings really.

 

I wasnt wanting a taper plan as such, more a way of spacing the doses over the next 6 days so i dont have major ill feelings. I can handle some withdrawals as ive went 3 days without my 20mg, i felt it was bareable but did get a tat sketchy on day 3.

 

I know my taper will be a long process but due to not having a supply i wondered if there was say a sticky plaster dosage i could follow until im back.

 

I know im probably looking for an answer that doesnt exist but if i can even feel relativley ok /be able to function to have the 4 nights away ...

 

God I hate myself for getting in this situation and the consequences it may have on my family holiday. If i cant get any by monday morning i may have to stay at home on my own.

 

 

[[Be...]]

Does anyone who has had a full on, proper cold turkey experience coming off benzos actually then go on to voluntarily take them again, and for non medical, recreational purposes?!

 

 

[[Be...]]

I actually find that hard to believe. You sound like you're lucky enough not to go through the sort of withdrawal symptoms that people who post here relate.

Believe me, they would get in the way of your family life, regardless of your intentions. And I mean from a small cut, not CT.

[[no...]]

I took them recreationally and prescribed at different points. Obviously your best bet would be to find a psych that will work with you to taper from 20 mg, so you will have a reliable supply. If you can't, however you can get them is fine I suppose. As far as the next few days go, it sounds like your not gonna have enough meds til yours come in, whether your on vacation or not. I would save the 20 mg for as long as i could, maybe even split it into 4s and take it only if necessary.  I think finding a doc that you can be honest with and whom understands the difficulties of benzo withdrawal is crucial. Don't over think things, or over"feel" things. It may not be that bad. Besides, you have been taking Valium for a while, it will be in your system at some degree for atleast a week. Good luck, let us know how things go

[[ho...]]

I would be very careful about the darknet.  Many of those vendors misrepresent the product they sell - some give inexact dosages per the weight, and many others use a different benzo than they purport to sell.  You likely know this.  But just a word to the wise.