Horrible wave 😢

[[vd...]]

Horrible wave this time, started last night, difficulty breathing, dizzy upon standing, I managed to catch a few zzz's but not enough, tried work but wasn't happening, so here I sit at the emergency room, shaking like a seizure, arms head and lips are numb, servere pressure and numbness by my sternum, blood pressures all over the place, can't sleep because I stop breathing when I sleep it's horrible, of course they reccomended some Ativan and I was like oh god no it's been almost 3 months clean but I just can't shake this wave, I asked if I could have the smallest dose they could administer and got that so here I sit waiting in this room

[[vd...]]

And of course ekg looks normal and blood tests normal, here comes another 1000$ bill I can't afford

[[Da...]]

I know it is difficult. When I was in my acute phase I did not know what was going on I was totally uneducated. Rehab told me I would fine in 2-3 weeks then a month passed and I still felt terrible. I believed I had to have a physical problem so I went to a lot of different doctors and had a lot of tests done and everything kept coming up negative. All the doctors told me it could not be withdrawal too. So I know what it is like but I think I needed the peace of mind. I'm hoping you snap out of it soon.

[[bl...]]

Horrible wave this time, started last night, difficulty breathing, dizzy upon standing, I managed to catch a few zzz's but not enough, tried work but wasn't happening, so here I sit at the emergency room, shaking like a seizure, arms head and lips are numb, servere pressure and numbness by my sternum, blood pressures all over the place, can't sleep because I stop breathing when I sleep it's horrible, of course they reccomended some Ativan and I was like oh god no it's been almost 3 months clean but I just can't shake this wave, I asked if I could have the smallest dose they could administer and got that so here I sit waiting in this room

 

Hello vdubtech!

I am so very sorry that you are struggling sweetheart!

I want you to know that the sxs you are experiencing are very common during withdrawal and recovery. I know that you can't "feel" it right now, but you are healing and ALL of these horrible sxs WILL go away, I promise. You are 3 months into your journey and when I was at your time off, I too experienced the same sxs and many more. I know it doesn't "feel" like the sxs will go away but they will lessen given more time (as long as you do not take any more benzodiazepines) and then in more time the sxs will begin to fall away and then completely go away for good!

 

I know that right now you want more then anything for the sxs to stop and just go away RIGHT NOW, and as you get more time under your belt with this process, they will do that very thing.

 

Please know that you aren't alone in your journey! We are all here walking this path beside you hun! Please if at all possible don't accept anymore benzodiazepine even a small smidgen at the ER. They do not (and some will not) know what kind of hell benzodiazepines cause!

 

As you said, you've had an EKG  and all if normal. The sxs you are experiencing are very very common sxs for withdrawal and recovery. I know it hurts like pure hell but please don't give up and in time and sometimes more time is needed but it WILL get better!!

 

I would like to share with you what helped me during the earlier months, I listened to meditation videos on YouTube for (Anxiety, sleep, nervousness etc. I also listened to and watched (when I got to where I could see fairly ok, children's movies and songs) Just type a word in the search box on YouTube)

 

I hope you get some relief soon!!

 

Please stay strong hun! BIG

[[vd...]]

Thanks for all the support, since I was in the er my sx's are relentless and they did end up giving me a small dose of Ativan :/ I hope that won't "reset" my healing clock that would suck

[[Da...]]

Hi vdubtech, what is done is done. You cant change it now. I doubt one dose is going to set you back to the beginning. I never took any rescue doses  myself but a lot of people on here have. I think to totally reset yourself to when you were addicted it would take more than that. Keep a positive outlook and you should be OK.

[[Co...]]

Vdubtech..

.....many buddies have taken a rescue dose and been just fine. You just don't want to ever think of it as a go to. Ask for hydroxyzine ....it is a completely different non-benzo medication ...it will help for panics, but you want to look at it as a maintenance medication either.

....I know the agony you are in....I didn't hit acute until about 2.5 months out and had a very tough time until about month 6.....,then things started getting almost bearable. You want to get some strategies in place that will help you endure the bad times. Strategies won't always ease the sx or make them go away, but they will help you endure the wave until it is over....or better. For me it was mindless TV.....I couldn't even follow 30 minute sitcoms or old runs of The Walton's.....time and distraction are your best help....

.....So sorry you are in er and in hell. I think most of us have been in er at one time or another. Do you live with someone ?.....Not being alone through acute was a big help to me. I live alone but my daughter stayed with me a lot during acute.....

......Hold on ....if you can get through acute  you can do the rest

 

[[Co...]]

* don't*......you don't want to look at hydroxyzine as a maintenance drug either

[[vd...]]

I do live with my fiancé, she is kind of sympathetic to me but doesn't really understand or believe in this withdrawal all the way so sometimes I'm on my own

[[Da...]]

 

Cooperten- If it has come down to watching  "The Walton's" things have gotten really bad. And I'm not even going to discuss that you could not follow the plot. (it is a joke, I have a bizarre sense of humor - I chuckled a little when I read it. I did not know that it is still on TV, I had not thought about it for many years, goodnight johnboy).

 

vdubtech - On being alone. Me and my GF broke up two months after I got out of rehab after living together for 12 years. It was a ton of things I won't even discuss but she moved out in January. I was in super acute WD and she was totally unsupportive and starting fights everyday. I def was afraid I was going to get high to cope, but I didn't. I'm sorry you are getting disapproval. I just don't think that anyone can understand it that does not go through it.

 

[[Co...]]

Davis.....things are much better now.....I am out just about 33 months now....very functional in my life now, but with some lingering sx still....but I am 66 years old and have an inner ear condition that triggers sx of w/d

.....yes, the Waltons were my salvation when hit a really bad place in month16 I think.....lol......a 66 year old Nonnie spending the afternoons clinging to the bed watching The Waltons....I couldn't handle anything that wasn't absolutely soothing..So glad to be past that.

......well, I guess living alone might be better than living with a contentious relationship....sorry you lost a relationship of 12 years.This is a brutal process.its really hard on our families too

.......wishing you some sunbreaks

[[Da...]]

Hi Cooperten, I'm so glad you are feeling better and we all do what we have to do to heal. It has been a hard process and losing her and being alone has been a difficult thing to get used to, I could not stand arguing everyday when I was so sick. I could no longer handle it. I have never been alone in my life so it is something new and it has upsides and downsides. That god for my dog, she is my best supporter right now and you guys as well.

[[vd...]]

You almost wish you could make them experience what you're going through but I wouldn't wish this fear/panic on my worst enemy