Trying to get through this...

[[ro...]]

I was prescribed 5 mg of Clonazepam from 12-16 years old when I weighed only 100 pounds. I started declining meds at age 16 and started recovery, unaware of what I was going through at the time. However, at age 22, I became adrenally insufficient (complete adrenal failure - Addison's Disease), but this was misdiagnosed as severe anxiety for 8 months. But by the time I was correctly diagnosed, I had already been put back on 3 mg of Klonopin for previous 6 months. Due to University and then job requirements, not to mention learning how to live with Addison's Disease, I was only able to taper myself down from 3 mg to 1 mg of Klonopin over 12 years. Finally, a doctor told me that I could just stop such a "low dose" of Clonazepam after 12 years - my first cold turkey. By the time I figured out what was going on one month later, I was a mess. I then re-instated and did a 14 month taper off of that final 1 mg. After one year of being off of benzo's, I took remaining doses I had laying around the house during a time of stress for only 1 week to deal with some stress. I figured that I "deserved" the relief from the drug considering the hell it had put me through in the past. I ceased taking those after one week, and it was no problem. But one month later, I was back in full withdrawal, not having slept one hour for 4 days. It took me a while to figure out what had happened, but as one doctor stated, "You've awakened the beast." I had no idea taking benzo's after having previously tapered ran the risk of resetting the withdrawal timeline back to zero after one year of cessation and having only taken them for one week. We reinstated, this time at 1.5 mg to stabilize, and I am back in the throws of a 10 month taper using a 0.375 mg/mL Clonazepam solution from a compounding pharmacy. After having endured, essentially, two cold-turkey withdrawals and one long taper, this second long taper is markedly worst. I am at 1.25 mg and have all kinds of unpleasant symptoms that have left me isolated, both physically and by the fact that I cannot lean on my friends or family as they do not understand. I am joining this community for support.

[[me...]]

Hello, and welcome to the forum! Those of us who have gone through multiple withdrawals know how much worse later withdrawals can be, because we've experienced "kindling."  That happened to me as well.  The only thing I can tell you is this time, once you're off benzos, stay off, no matter what happens.  That's the lesson I've learned and I've been off more than 4 years now.

 

You'll find plenty of information and support here.  Our members have gone through all aspects of withdrawal, and you're likely to see  people who understand what you're going through and can tell you what has worked for them.  For those who are currently tapering, we suggest reducing no faster than 5-10% every 10-14 days.  One exception: very short-term users of a few weeks or less may be able to taper faster than that.

 

Here are a few links you may find useful:

 

Withdrawal Support Board

 

The Ashton Manual is an authoritative source on what to expect in withdrawal and recovery.  Dr. Ashton is an expert in the field.  She describes and explains withdrawal symptoms in Chapter III, and there is also a section with withdrawal/taper schedules.

 

Please take the time to Create a Signature.  This will allow others to see where you are in the process so they can better support you.

 

Again, welcome!

 

 

 

[[Ce...]]

Hey rocketman0704,

 

You certainly have come to the right place! I've only been on since June, but have learned so much about benzos and the terrible impact it has on our lives in that short amount of time. There is a world of knowledge here from many good people. I think it's rare to find family or friends who understand what we are going through, which is a shame, because we could sure use some support out here!

 

Well, you at least have some experience in this and kinda know what to expect, and looks like you know what not to do, so that's good!

 

Hope you stick around, there are ppl here that know what you are going through and are happy to see you through this really rough time.

 

Welcome!

 

~CeCe