Self Constuction vs. Self Destruction

[[er...]]

Hey All,

 

It's been a while since I've come up with a new topic, so as I'm feeling good today, I thought I'd see what some of your experience is with this, and how things are going lately..?

 

Basically, where I'm at in my recovery from Benzos is I'm not feeling physically sick anymore.  (I'm at 4 months off of 8.5 year use, and a 7 month taper.)

 

Most nights I sleep well, and all of that head stuff is gone.  (pressure, headaches, numb brain, liquid brain, etc.. )  I don't have benzo flu anymore and I'm not dizzy.  Anxiety is normal now.  Even tinnitus is down to just a little background noise.

 

So, what now? 

 

I still have my memory issues, some difficulty speaking, and a different type of cog fog has settled in.. So what do we do about it?  this seems to me, to be the million dollar question..

 

I don't think there's much I can do about CNS shortcomings?  and, from all that i know, it's going to be "a while" before my cognition improves to where it should be..  (like all of us, I've gone through lots of doubt about my CNS' ability to recover, but I have to trust those that have gone before me and their successes..)

 

Anyway, about the topic of "self construction vs. self destruction" =- for so long, especially during my taper, I couldn't seem to do much at all that was positive for myself.  I seemed to be coming apart at the seems, and I was - physically and mentally, i just couldn't do shit.  But, now, after a lot of time, and education about benzos, and acceptance, I seem to be at a place where I can take an active role in my recovery.  (mentally, i've gotten some work here and there which has helped me feel better about myself..)  But, I really mean to address the physical sense.. and I think that's my responsibility in this nightmare..

 

something that's helping me a lot is dieting and exercise.  I have had awful benzo belly during this, and bloating from eating.  So, I started using a product called, "Almased" - it gives a person all the nutrition they need, is loaded with probiotics, and helps a person lose weight.  I've lost 17lbs in a month, and my benzo belly is rapidly disappearing.  (but it wouldn't have, if I didn't do anything about it..)  Also, since June 30th, I've forced myself to go to the gym everyday except July 4th.  I'm up to 40 minutes of cardio a day, which has been really good for my head, my emotions, self esteem, etc..

 

well, i'm just saying.. there are things we can do when we start to feel a little better, which will help us feel a lot better!  that's been my experience.. what are some thing that you all are doing to help you feel better?? - Eric

 

 

[[Ch...]]

Diet and exercise...what a concept.   

 

Glad you're posting about it.  I think you have made some important points.

[[er...]]

Diet and exercise...what a concept.   

 

Glad you're posting about it.  I think you have made some important points.

 

too funny... yeah, i guess i can be, what my brother used to tease me about, a "master of the obvious.." lol.. diet and exercise.. right..  but, i guess i've been trapped so much in my own head during this experience, that there is a huge difference between "knowing" and actually "doing" something - and re-discovering these two in a post benzo world for me has been so great i felt inclined to share! : )

[[il...]]

Eric,

 

You're a natural leader, bud. I just wanted to quickly thank you for this, and to add that even the memory and cognition functions take pleasant turns.

 

Eric knows the things I do, but to share with everyone else --

 

• I exercise once a day, more if I'm able.

• I eat with purpose. Every meal includes proteins, omega 3s, leafy greens. I snack on anything with antioxidants (blueberries are my go-to) and walnuts (omega 3 - responsible for building new brain mass).

• I force myself to do stuff. For the first time doing everything since I CT'd, whatever it was, it felt like the first time doing it. My memories of it were faded and distant, so I would be nervous as I forgot what it felt like. Well, after the first time, faded memories became clear again, distant became newer, and the NEXT time I did it, it was much more familiar.

• Aforementioned stuff that I force myself to do are easy things, I.e. Socializing, movies, vacation. I haven't started working yet, but that's next. But, re: social things, I simply don't do something if it will make me feel uncomfortable until I get to 100%. I've learned to respect myself more, basically. 

 

Prayers for all!

Never again

[[ca...]]

Good post Eric! Once a person recognizes the enemy, you have to dedicate yourself to defeating it. It makes it very challenging when you have to enter this battle alone! In a few months you will be able to look back on all of this as a bad memory. I do believe that people walk away from experiences like this a stronger person. Most of my life I have adapted the idea that, if I have to suffer this much, I should be gaining something in return. I don't accept defeat! Never have and I never will!