7 months and better than ever!!

[[il...]]

All,

 

I wasn't going to write another thread or bother posting again, as I just wantED to move on from here, but then I remembered how much each and every celebration and success story helped carry me through the pure mental, physical and emotional hell known as benzo wd! It is my personal responsibility to turn around and left up anyone I possibly can.

 

To start, I am not saying I'm healed, but I'm better than ever. I went to Florida just a couple of weeks ago and only had one minor flare up for about 2 hours. The rest of the time was great, minus my mind being on FF half of the time. I even had a couple of days without the AM anxiety! Intrusive thinking flared up during take off for each flight but then it calmed. I also had intrusive thinking at a steady rate overall, that seems to be my worst symptom. But minus the flare up during take off, it was more than manageable!

 

I'm doing relatively great. Looking for some kind of source of income. Am I ready to jump into a full-time job, let alone a career job, no. But I've seen some real progress over the last 2 months. Plus, I consider myself truly at a 5.5 benchmark from the night I drank heavily, so it's even more exciting to see what's to come in the next few weeks/couple of months.

 

I feel 90% recovered *most* of the time. Of course it's all relative so I'm not focusing on numbers anymore. For multiple reasons, I've learned to truly take it a day at a time. I have AM anxiety for a few hours still, but I haven't panted for breath in over a month. Cognition seems to have gone from a 5-year old to a 15-year old, so I'll take that. (Probably better and I'm not giving myself enough credit there)  And DO NOT LISTEN TO THE WORST CASE SCENARIOS. EVERYONE heals, and MANY, MANY people just get better and better and better and better, however quickly or slowly that journey may be. DONT touch alcohol, DONT rescue, and eat as organic as possible and you'll progress as quickly as possible! I DONT pay attention to phases or anyone else for that matter, I pay attention to ME, and I can tell you it's NIGHT AND DAY from the earlier months!!!

 

AND MY BIGGEST PIECE OF ADVICE TO THOSE IN EARLY WD -- 

 

Remember there could be so many pieces to someone's puzzle. Keep your head on as straight as possible and remember that ASHTON, along with so many others I've met, says that all of those starts dissipating at (or around) 6 months and continues to get better and better in time. (So long as you stay away from rescuing AND alcohol) COLD TURKEY does NOT mean you suffer forever before seeing improvement. The majority of people I've met, regardless of dosage, length of use or taper vs. cold-turkey see significant improvement at 6 months and continue to improve thereafter.

 

Prayers are with all of you. Time is the healer. Acceptance is key.

 

Steve

 

[[Ch...]]

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy!

[[wh...]]

So so so happy for YOU !! 

[[il...]]

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy!

 

Both your sarcasm and kindness helped me a lot, Challis! God bless!

[[il...]]

So so so happy for YOU !! 

 

😉😘😘😘

[[Ch...]]

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy!

 

Both your sarcasm and kindness helped me a lot, Challis! God bless!

 

Sarcasm? Moi?   

 

[[il...]]

 

 

Sarcasm? Moi?   

 

😂😂😂😂😂

[Guest [We...]]

That's awesome! Your story is inspirational to say the least. 

 

Try keeping us posted how your life is going.

[[er...]]

Hey Steve,

 

Thanks a lot for your 7 month update!  I especially got a kick out of "cognition seems to have gone from a 5 year old to a 15 year olds..but I'll take it"  ..too funny!  I get it, and hopefully, sooner than later we get back to our 'normal' cognition.. seriously!  (I kind of hate feeling like a child in an adult body!.. but like you say, acceptance is key..)

 

I've been forcing myself into the gym the last 8 of 9 days, and I'm getting a lot out of it..  I'm going  really try to keep that up.  Everyone says it's vital to recovery, and it's helped me before, so why not now?  I'll be in touch - keep it up!  - Eric 

[[il...]]

Hey Steve,

 

Thanks a lot for your 7 month update!  I especially got a kick out of "cognition seems to have gone from a 5 year old to a 15 year olds..but I'll take it"  ..too funny!  I get it, and hopefully, sooner than later we get back to our 'normal' cognition.. seriously!  (I kind of hate feeling like a child in an adult body!.. but like you say, acceptance is key..)

 

I've been forcing myself into the gym the last 8 of 9 days, and I'm getting a lot out of it..  I'm going  really try to keep that up.  Everyone says it's vital to recovery, and it's helped me before, so why not now?  I'll be in touch - keep it up!  - Eric

 

It's weird. I feel like I was in a coma for 4 years and that everything I do, I'm doing it for the first time. I literally can see the "relearning life" happening before my very eyes. Lots already came back, and I'm much, much better than before, but, still have repairing to do re: cognition lol

 

I'm glad man. That's awesome! You're pushing me to work out more. Keep it up and you'll soon be posting your 7 month thread!!

[[er...]]

 

It's weird. I feel like I was in a coma for 4 years and that everything I do, I'm doing it for the first time. I literally can see the "relearning life" happening before my very eyes. Lots already came back, and I'm much, much better than before, but, still have repairing to do re: cognition lol

 

I'm glad man. That's awesome! You're pushing me to work out more. Keep it up and you'll soon be posting your 7 month thread!!

 

Hey Steve,

 

You put that well... "feels like I've been in a coma for 4 years.. "  no shit.. I'm starting to have that same feeling about the last 8.5 years I was on this drug.. It's like all was going well enough, I was still engaged in life then I got my first prescription of xanex, and from there on, i was put to sleep of sorts, or like you say, "a coma".. and existed in a dreamlike state for so long.. until we forced ourselves back into life by going through what we did to free ourselves from these benzos..  Like you say, "NEVER AGAIN" - Thanks Steve! - Eric

[[il...]]

Don't fear the coma feeing, Eric. The more time goes on, the more I remember life pre-benzo *and* during the Xanax. It's like the gap of "coma time" is closing. Hard to explain but you'll see what I mean soon.

 

Yes... Never again!!!