Almost 1 year off! WTH?

[[bl...]]

I am almost one year off (the 21st) and I woke up to burning skin!! Ugh! I had this when I stopped and thought it was gone for good, but now it's back at almost a year out ...

 

Can someone relate?? My goodness this is pure torture!!!

 

I still have other sxs as well. GAH!!

[[me...]]

Blessed, I am 15 months out and still have some symptoms too.  The worst is the frequent night wakings and some anxiety that comes and goes.  Sometimes when I wake up at night I can feel that my adrenaline and cortisol are surging and I feel stressed.  I have come a long way but am not 100 %yet. I just want to feel like I did pre Xanax!

[[we...]]

I am 15 months out and going into 16 this week.Coming off the benzos.MY symptoms much like meggie,lots of cortisol surges at night.Feels like chemical storms.The symptoms much more intense.Just part of this weird rd we are on!!!Hang in there blessed ride it out.Know you are not alone!!!!Wish you better days ahead!!wen

[[Bh...]]

You should try ginkgo Blessed....it really is doing wonders for my symptoms.  Message me if you are interested and I'll tell you about my experience 

[[me...]]

Wen, thanks for sharing that you are still struggling at night as well.  I have times when I think I have something else wrong with me, thinking it can't still be from the Xanax.  But you are experiencing the same thing so it most likely is from the Xanax withdrawal still

[[bl...]]

So, about three hours after I posted this thread, I had a three hour window where I felt completely NORMAL! (I posted about it...I've now deleted it)  I was so happy but I was afraid it may had been just a window and sure enough it slammed shut! I now have a new sx. I feel like my throat is closing!! It's due to the neck muscles tensing up! UGH! UGH! UGH!

 

Lots of love and BIG to all of my fellow BB'S! !!

 

 

Edited to add: I tried to delete the other thread but it will not let me...UGH!

 

 

[[bl...]]

Blessed, I am 15 months out and still have some symptoms too.  The worst is the frequent night wakings and some anxiety that comes and goes.  Sometimes when I wake up at night I can feel that my adrenaline and cortisol are surging and I feel stressed.  I have come a long way but am not 100 %yet. I just want to feel like I did pre Xanax!

 

Hello maggie!

I'm so sorry that you too are still struggling sweetheart! This whole process is so maddening!! Goodness gracious! I look forward to reading your success story, soon!!

 

So tired and wore out, as I know we all are from feeling like a basket case for so long! I too long for the day to feel back to my normal self... BIG

[[mr...]]

I wonder if the burning sx went away and came back because you had stopped xanax and then took it randomly after?

My mom is kindled due to recovering from ativan wd and then, randomly taking it over a 10 month period.

It is like little ct's as one buddy once said and can take much longer to recover from.

 

[[bl...]]

I wonder if the burning sx went away and came back because you had stopped xanax and then took it randomly after?

My mom is kindled due to recovering from ativan wd and then, randomly taking it over a 10 month period.

It is like little ct's as one buddy once said and can take much longer to recover from.

 

Hello mrtmeo!

I'm so sorry your mother is struggling!

Back when I was taking xanax occasionally mail only 1/4, I had already hit tolerance  (I didn't know at that time and honestly didn't figure this out until my mind became clear at 8 months out. I could then look back and figure it all out.) I know now that what was happening to me was, I was continuously putting my mind and body thru withdrawal for over a year at least. But, the day I began to have whole body burning  (was like standing IN a blazing fire?). I totally freaked out! And began searching on the Internet of what those sxs could be from (not thinking that xanax was the problem. .it didn't even cross my mind!). Needless to say, I was sooooo out of it from being so scared my fingers wouldn't be still enough to type the words I was trying to type to do the search). I laid on my couch bawling my eyes out, zapping like being electrocuted and bring from the inside out, anxiety and panic attacks! I called my sister and she said to take a  xanax 0.25 (because ya know it's "to stop anxiety") and it did completely stop all sxs. (Still at that time, I didn't make the connection) and continued to take xanax on and off for a month. Fast forward to right before I did my rapid taper (I was already sick and could eat solid food, and my head was in a complete fog...didn't know if I was coming or going...had NO feelings at all)  I did a "rapid taper" with xanax that did nothing at all. Complete fog UNTIL the 6th day after taking a small tiny crumb.

The gates of hell opened wide.. I began to experience every sx in the Dr. Ashton manual and then some.. all the while my family telling me that I needed to get a job, stop asking questions of why I felt this or that, stop crying, stop reading benzobuddies, stop talking to people here on the forum etc... I was bedridden for 8 months and then occasionally up until about a month ago.

 

All of that to say, thank you for being there and supporting your mother thru this process! She is very lucky to have you there for her! Please just listen when she talks...it may not make any since but please just listen and maybe even give her a big hug! This is a very tough process and I understand that it is tough on those who are supportive and stand beside there loved ones suffering and walking this path.

 

💖

 

Ps. I've not touched a benzo at all since the 21st of July last year (2015) and never again!!

[[bl...]]

The burning was on the bottom of my legs and left arm. It went away after about an hour or so, every sx did for about 3 hrs and then came back with a new sx.

 

💖

[[Va...]]

Hi Blessed!  Sorry you're having a bad experience with w/d.  I know how you feel because I feel the same way!  Tomorrow is 11 months out and this morning when I woke up at 8:30 I was experiencing a lower level agitation slightly nervy. Wasn't bad but has really set off my whole day.  It goes to my stomach when I ate each time today. This is such BS!  Thanks for posting so I can lean on you and wha wha about it.  I wish we would all heal and get on with our lives. Lately things seem to be improving a lot more. I sleep 6-8 hours a night and don't wake up through the night. It was such a let down when this happened.

 

Hope you get better soon and I mean it. You're pal Val

[[bl...]]

Hi Blessed!  Sorry you're having a bad experience with w/d.  I know how you feel because I feel the same way!  Tomorrow is 11 months out and this morning when I woke up at 8:30 I was experiencing a lower level agitation slightly nervy. Wasn't bad but has really set off my whole day.  It goes to my stomach when I ate each time today. This is such BS!  Thanks for posting so I can lean on you and wha wha about it.  I wish we would all heal and get on with our lives. Lately things seem to be improving a lot more. I sleep 6-8 hours a night and don't wake up through the night. It was such a let down when this happened.

 

Hope you get better soon and I mean it. You're pal Val

 

Hello Val my sweet pal! :smitte:

I am so sorry that you too are still struggling sweetheart!

I agree, this is some serious BS!! I too just want us to all be healed and go back to living normal life. But we must remember that we WILL ALL do that very thing!

 

Stay strong hun! We're getting closer to the finish line! 12 months would be awesome but even if it's 18 or just whatever... we know that it is going to happen for us!! BIG

 

 

[[mr...]]

I wonder if the burning sx went away and came back because you had stopped xanax and then took it randomly after?

My mom is kindled due to recovering from ativan wd and then, randomly taking it over a 10 month period.

It is like little ct's as one buddy once said and can take much longer to recover from.

 

Hello mrtmeo!

I'm so sorry your mother is struggling!

Back when I was taking xanax occasionally mail only 1/4, I had already hit tolerance  (I didn't know at that time and honestly didn't figure this out until my mind became clear at 8 months out. I could then look back and figure it all out.) I know now that what was happening to me was, I was continuously putting my mind and body thru withdrawal for over a year at least. But, the day I began to have whole body burning  (was like standing IN a blazing fire?). I totally freaked out! And began searching on the Internet of what those sxs could be from (not thinking that xanax was the problem. .it didn't even cross my mind!). Needless to say, I was sooooo out of it from being so scared my fingers wouldn't be still enough to type the words I was trying to type to do the search). I laid on my couch bawling my eyes out, zapping like being electrocuted and bring from the inside out, anxiety and panic attacks! I called my sister and she said to take a  xanax 0.25 (because ya know it's "to stop anxiety") and it did completely stop all sxs. (Still at that time, I didn't make the connection) and continued to take xanax on and off for a month. Fast forward to right before I did my rapid taper (I was already sick and could eat solid food, and my head was in a complete fog...didn't know if I was coming or going...had NO feelings at all)  I did a "rapid taper" with xanax that did nothing at all. Complete fog UNTIL the 6th day after taking a small tiny crumb.

The gates of hell opened wide.. I began to experience every sx in the Dr. Ashton manual and then some.. all the while my family telling me that I needed to get a job, stop asking questions of why I felt this or that, stop crying, stop reading benzobuddies, stop talking to people here on the forum etc... I was bedridden for 8 months and then occasionally up until about a month ago.

 

All of that to say, thank you for being there and supporting your mother thru this process! She is very lucky to have you there for her! Please just listen when she talks...it may not make any since but please just listen and maybe even give her a big hug! This is a very tough process and I understand that it is tough on those who are supportive and stand beside there loved ones suffering and walking this path.

 

💖

 

Ps. I've not touched a benzo at all since the 21st of July last year (2015) and never again!!

Hi blessed,

My mom never says anything about wd nor can tell me her sx's.

I have to coax them out of her.

I know more about wd than she does, sadly.

Her first taper off ativan caused such severe burning in her feet and legs that I was putting solarcaine on them every 2 hours, but the burning sx only lasted about 4 months.

I don't know what it feels like to go thru benzo hell, but I sure have a damn good idea of what it is like from all the stories and posts that I have read or videos that I listened to.

I was the one that found out about benzo wd and told my mom she needed to get off that stuff, but that she needed to taper because I had found the Dr Ashton manual.

It is very rare for someone on the outside, like me, to be the one knowledgeable about benzo wd.

Praying that your burning goes away soon for good and it will.

Just keep hanging on.

 

[[me...]]

It is interesting that people mentioning burning sensations.  The last few months, on and off, I wake up for the day and my heels are burning.  I was wondering what was causing this, but had no idea.  Could it be from the Xanax withdrawal 15 months ago?  Could I get this as new symptom after 1 year out? 

[[pe...]]

I am one year off Klonopin after 20 years of use. I started to have burning/heat during the last two/three months of tapering. I still have it about half the time. Mine is whole body burning/heat that wakes me up at night and usually starts in my upper back.  It moves around the body during the day to the legs, feet, arms and head/face area. Thus far, the intense burning lasts for many hours and slowly dissipates into other symptoms like spasms with intense nerve pain, paresthesia, tight band around the head or intense spaciness. . Sometimes I have lulls for a few hour where the symptoms seem mostly distant. I had steroid injections several months ago which really revved up all the symptoms for a couple of months, especially the burning and heat.

 

This burning/heat and big-time insomnia are my key symptoms.

pentas

[[no...]]

So, about three hours after I posted this thread, I had a three hour window where I felt completely NORMAL! (I posted about it...I've now deleted it)  I was so happy but I was afraid it may had been just a window and sure enough it slammed shut! I now have a new sx. I feel like my throat is closing!! It's due to the neck muscles tensing up! UGH! UGH! UGH!

 

Lots of love and BIG to all of my fellow BB'S! !!

 

 

Edited to add: I tried to delete the other thread but it will not let me...UGH!

 

Hi Blessed  I'm tapering and had the same thing happen to me may 29th, I woke up feeling dreadful, then with no warning all my hell symptoms of which burning is definitely the worse  along with unable to tolerate any sound and hell tinnitus amongst others, stopped completely. It was like being born again on a different planet where everything was perfect and so was I, I couldn't have wished for better, an few hours later gone back to hell and been feeling a LOT worse since.

 

But its proof our bodies are trying to return to homoeostasis, and although its hard to believe under the conditions its in its actually doing its job okay, if it wasn't why else would we feel amazing if only for a short time. And yes it now makes everything feel even worse again now, I've got symptoms getting worse again, but if this was it then why would we have that moment in time where everything was perfect? 

 

We're getting there its just taking a lot longer than any of us want to suffer like this, feeling like we been set on fire plus other awful symptoms, yes its miserable a lot of the time but its the way healing works we just have to breathe hold on and trust our bodies innate wisdom, and that's not easy when your suffering so much. Ever morning I wake up in agony and say Fk this!!  Its become a bit of a motto lately ,some days I get a bit of okay bearable time. Other days its seems the suffering is mostly endless,  but when its not so bad hope raises again, we will get there eventually

 

 

Love Nova xxx :smitten:

[[bl...]]

I wonder if the burning sx went away and came back because you had stopped xanax and then took it randomly after?

My mom is kindled due to recovering from ativan wd and then, randomly taking it over a 10 month period.

It is like little ct's as one buddy once said and can take much longer to recover from.

 

Hello mrtmeo!

I'm so sorry your mother is struggling!

Back when I was taking xanax occasionally mail only 1/4, I had already hit tolerance  (I didn't know at that time and honestly didn't figure this out until my mind became clear at 8 months out. I could then look back and figure it all out.) I know now that what was happening to me was, I was continuously putting my mind and body thru withdrawal for over a year at least. But, the day I began to have whole body burning  (was like standing IN a blazing fire?). I totally freaked out! And began searching on the Internet of what those sxs could be from (not thinking that xanax was the problem. .it didn't even cross my mind!). Needless to say, I was sooooo out of it from being so scared my fingers wouldn't be still enough to type the words I was trying to type to do the search). I laid on my couch bawling my eyes out, zapping like being electrocuted and bring from the inside out, anxiety and panic attacks! I called my sister and she said to take a  xanax 0.25 (because ya know it's "to stop anxiety") and it did completely stop all sxs. (Still at that time, I didn't make the connection) and continued to take xanax on and off for a month. Fast forward to right before I did my rapid taper (I was already sick and could eat solid food, and my head was in a complete fog...didn't know if I was coming or going...had NO feelings at all)  I did a "rapid taper" with xanax that did nothing at all. Complete fog UNTIL the 6th day after taking a small tiny crumb.

The gates of hell opened wide.. I began to experience every sx in the Dr. Ashton manual and then some.. all the while my family telling me that I needed to get a job, stop asking questions of why I felt this or that, stop crying, stop reading benzobuddies, stop talking to people here on the forum etc... I was bedridden for 8 months and then occasionally up until about a month ago.

 

All of that to say, thank you for being there and supporting your mother thru this process! She is very lucky to have you there for her! Please just listen when she talks...it may not make any since but please just listen and maybe even give her a big hug! This is a very tough process and I understand that it is tough on those who are supportive and stand beside there loved ones suffering and walking this path.

 

💖

 

Ps. I've not touched a benzo at all since the 21st of July last year (2015) and never again!!

Hi blessed,

My mom never says anything about wd nor can tell me her sx's.

I have to coax them out of her.

I know more about wd than she does, sadly.

Her first taper off ativan caused such severe burning in her feet and legs that I was putting solarcaine on them every 2 hours, but the burning sx only lasted about 4 months.

I don't know what it feels like to go thru benzo hell, but I sure have a damn good idea of what it is like from all the stories and posts that I have read or videos that I listened to.

I was the one that found out about benzo wd and told my mom she needed to get off that stuff, but that she needed to taper because I had found the Dr Ashton manual.

It is very rare for someone on the outside, like me, to be the one knowledgeable about benzo wd.

Praying that your burning goes away soon for good and it will.

Just keep hanging on.

 

Thank you so much hun! I greatly appreciate your support! And thank you again for being there for your Mother! It is tough for everyone involved. From someone going thru benzo hell, I assure that your Mother doesn't tell you some things because she doesn't necessarily won't you to worry about her. Please continue to support and be there for her, but also, don't get so wrapped up in it that you forget about yourself and your own well-being. BIG

[[bl...]]

It is interesting that people mentioning burning sensations.  The last few months, on and off, I wake up for the day and my heels are burning.  I was wondering what was causing this, but had no idea.  Could it be from the Xanax withdrawal 15 months ago?  Could I get this as new symptom after 1 year out?

 

Hello maggie! 

Yes, the xanax is responsible for your sxs. I hope you are completely healed very soon hun! You are a strong person for enduring this for so long!! Thankful that your sxs have lessened for you. Please stay strong!! BIG

[[bl...]]

I am one year off Klonopin after 20 years of use. I started to have burning/heat during the last two/three months of tapering. I still have it about half the time. Mine is whole body burning/heat that wakes me up at night and usually starts in my upper back.  It moves around the body during the day to the legs, feet, arms and head/face area. Thus far, the intense burning lasts for many hours and slowly dissipates into other symptoms like spasms with intense nerve pain, paresthesia, tight band around the head or intense spaciness. . Sometimes I have lulls for a few hour where the symptoms seem mostly distant. I had steroid injections several months ago which really revved up all the symptoms for a couple of months, especially the burning and heat.

 

This burning/heat and big-time insomnia are my key symptoms.

pentas

 

Hello pentas!

I'm so sorry you are still struggling hun!

I remember reading your post a few months ago that you had steroid injections, and that is really revved your sxs up. I hope you get relief soon! I look forward to reading your success story soon sweetheart!! Please stay strong! BIG

[[bl...]]

So, about three hours after I posted this thread, I had a three hour window where I felt completely NORMAL! (I posted about it...I've now deleted it)  I was so happy but I was afraid it may had been just a window and sure enough it slammed shut! I now have a new sx. I feel like my throat is closing!! It's due to the neck muscles tensing up! UGH! UGH! UGH!

 

Lots of love and BIG to all of my fellow BB'S! !!

 

 

Edited to add: I tried to delete the other thread but it will not let me...UGH!

 

Hi Blessed  I'm tapering and had the same thing happen to me may 29th, I woke up feeling dreadful, then with no warning all my hell symptoms of which burning is definitely the worse  along with unable to tolerate any sound and hell tinnitus amongst others, stopped completely. It was like being born again on a different planet where everything was perfect and so was I, I couldn't have wished for better, an few hours later gone back to hell and been feeling a LOT worse since.

 

But its proof our bodies are trying to return to homoeostasis, and although its hard to believe under the conditions its in its actually doing its job okay, if it wasn't why else would we feel amazing if only for a short time. And yes it now makes everything feel even worse again now, I've got symptoms getting worse again, but if this was it then why would we have that moment in time where everything was perfect? 

 

We're getting there its just taking a lot longer than any of us want to suffer like this, feeling like we been set on fire plus other awful symptoms, yes its miserable a lot of the time but its the way healing works we just have to breathe hold on and trust our bodies innate wisdom, and that's not easy when your suffering so much. Ever morning I wake up in agony and say Fk this!!  Its become a bit of a motto lately ,some days I get a bit of okay bearable time. Other days its seems the suffering is mostly endless,  but when its not so bad hope raises again, we will get there eventually

 

 

Love Nova xxx :smitten:

 

Hello Nova 1! You are such a sweetie!! Thank you so much for your support, kind words and encouragement!! I'm so sorry that you are struggling so much, but like you said, it will get better! I hope you get some much needed relief soon sweetheart!!

 

Please stay strong hun! BIG

[[sl...]]

Meggie and wen...

 

Can you two describe your cortisol surges at night?  Do they happen at sleep onset?  How much sleep do you get?

[[bl...]]

I am 15 months out and going into 16 this week.Coming off the benzos.MY symptoms much like meggie,lots of cortisol surges at night.Feels like chemical storms.The symptoms much more intense.Just part of this weird rd we are on!!!Hang in there blessed ride it out.Know you are not alone!!!!Wish you better days ahead!!wen

 

Hello wen121!

I am so sorry that you are still struggling sweetheart!

Thank you so much for you support hun! I greatly appreciate it!!

 

I hope you get some much needed relief soon sweetheart!! This is one rough road to travel but will be soooo worth it once these sxs stop for good!! It's gonna happen for ALL of us! BIG

[[bl...]]

You should try ginkgo Blessed....it really is doing wonders for my symptoms.  Message me if you are interested and I'll tell you about my experience 

 

Hello Bhealthy17!

Thank you! I really do appreciate the offer but right now, I am still scared of stuff. I remember some years ago my Mother took ginkgo  (she wasn't and hasn't been in benzo withdrawal) but she told me it helped her memory for a little while, ans then she had to stop taking it because it made her feel unwell. So that's one other reason I'm scared to try it. However, I'm thankful it is helping you! Please stay strong hun! BIG

[[me...]]

Sleepless,

 

The cortisol surge wakes me up and then I can't go back to sleep for a few hours.  Sometimes I will also feel stressed when I wake up.  Read my posts in this thread about l ornithine.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=160238.0