feel like I am dying

[[th...]]

Trying to get off 2mg of Xanax, been taking for 12 years with alcohol. Hitting rock bottom prompted me to get off the stuff. Switched to1 mg every other day. The withdrawal symptoms are horrible. Jittery, fatigued, nervous, nauseated, heart palpitations, weak, unable to concentrate, getting up to get a glass of water is a torture. The nature of the work I do, I cannot seek professional help as it would cost my career and if that happens I would be out on the streets. This is my second attempt, failed day 5 last year with heart arrhythmias. Looking into weaning trials if this fails.

[[me...]]

Hell this-really-sucks, and welcome to the forum!  I was also a long-term xanax user, and getting off wasn't easy.  But, in the long term it was definitely worthwhile.  Most members here organize and run their own tapers very successfully without medical supervision, all that's needed is willpower, a bit of research  and some self-discipline.  Also, many doctors don't understand the value of slow tapering.  Withdrawal symptoms are temporary, and will go away as you heal.  Time itself is the healer.

 

You'll find plenty of information and support here.  Our members have gone through all aspects of withdrawal, and you're likely to see  people who understand what you're going through and can tell you what has worked for them.  For those who are currently tapering, we suggest reducing no faster than 5-10% every 10-14 days.  One exception: very short-term users of a few weeks or less may be able to taper faster than that.

 

Here are a few links you may find useful:

 

Withdrawal Support Board

 

The Ashton Manual is an authoritative source on what to expect in withdrawal and recovery.  Dr. Ashton is an expert in the field.  She describes and explains withdrawal symptoms in Chapter III, and there is also a section with withdrawal/taper schedules.

 

Please take the time to Create a Signature.  This will allow others to see where you are in the process so they can better support you.

 

Again, welcome!

 

 

 

[[th...]]

Thank you for that info

[[th...]]

Took 1mg last night, symptoms today but not as  bad. Will try to go without tonight and then 1mg tomorrow night for 2 months then .5mg every other night for 2 months then .25mg then? But the point of return counselor suggests given my history, I taper over a 10 month period. Any advice on this weaning schedule?

[[ve...]]

If you maybe,  I know it is not easy, but try too take it as you go along with the taper! Listen to your body, it will be the most important thing you do! Let your mind get a chance to catch up if you need to! Best of luck to you

[[th...]]

Great. I keep reading about the slow wean, so decided to take 1mg today. I look at myself in the mirror at work, and I look terrified.  Some people were asking me if I was OK yesterday. I can't let them see me and suspect withdrawals. I wished I could detox in a rehab clinic.

[[Si...]]

I'd say you shouldn't skip days. Xanax has a short half life. You want to stay on a steady dose and then taper down using a schedule. You can do this. Slow and steady wins the race.

[[be...]]

welcome for me too. I think you can do this but you need to slow down in my opinion you're going to way too quickly. the recommended reduction rate is no more than 10% every two weeks so it's no wonder you feel so horrible from such a large cut. I personally would up dose to the lowest dose I felt stable at and then begin a more sensible taper from there. that's the best way to reduce the chances of severe symptoms like you're having now.

[[an...]]

I agree, don't skip days at all. I'm down to 1/2 mg of ativan at bedtime and I can tell if I go past even an hour or two from when I normally take it. There's alot of us here that are right where you are so don't feel like it's only you. Just take it slow and steady!

[[Tr...]]

Took 1mg last night, symptoms today but not as  bad. Will try to go without tonight and then 1mg tomorrow night for 2 months then .5mg every other night for 2 months then .25mg then? But the point of return counselor suggests given my history, I taper over a 10 month period. Any advice on this weaning schedule?

 

Hi this,

 

I see you mentioned Point of Return.  Are you taking any of their products?  If so, you need to be very cautious because some supplements can actually rev up your withdrawal symptoms.  A lot of these online companies claim they are knowledgable about benzo withdrawal, but in reality they aren't.  You can do a search on PofR here on BB and see what other's have experienced using them. 

 

TRY

[[th...]]

I haven't yet ordered anything but just wanted to get a wean schedule set up with my doctor. Today, I wake up on and off waves of anxiety/dread. Those seem to have subsided so now just a little dizzy but can focus. Symptoms are bad in the morning, it doesn't help have this heart arrhythmia, I keep thinking the stress will trigger a heart attack or a stroke which feeds on the tension and makes it worse. I think I will stay on the 1mg  then taper to .75. Just found out my state has a strict "no drive" law and they can charge us with "driving under the influence of Xanax." Seriously, it has never affected my ability to drive, it's when I am coming off it, everybody seems to be crazy. Either too fast or too slow, people cut me off, hit their brakes for no reason. When having withdrawals, they terrify me.

[[Na...]]

I agree, don't skip days, and dropping from 2 to 1 mg at once is way to much of a cut.    Xanax goes out of the body so fast.  If you are on a dose of 2mg daily, you  may want to break up your doses to 3-4  times a day, equally. And when you reduce your daily dose only reduce it no more than 10% every two weeks.  If your symptoms are terrible, hold your dose for as long as you need to, to stabilize,  then reduce next time more slowly.

[[th...]]

When I wake up is when it is the worst. That of course is when I have to be at work. For the last 4 hours, I have felt  fine, I could live and function like this. 8am, waves of terror, heart ,GI  upset. I have found that resuming my ADHD drug Strattera has really helped. It works like an anti depressant as well. Does anyone have periods when they feel perfectly normal, able to focus, no brain fog, no heart racing, nausea, etc? When I had to quit abruptly before (my doctors moved and another went to prison) it was only 2 days of feeling anxious. I would love to be free of this and when I am, never again but I will stick around to help others. I have no doubts that if I skip todays dose because I feel OK, the demons will be  back in the morning. Thanks so far for the helpful advice and encouragement.

[[Tr...]]

Hi this,

 

Everything you are experiencing is normal.  You have to remember your CNS is impacted by the withdrawal process.  So everything is impacted from your brain, heart, digestion, everything.  Mornings are the worst because cortisol is highest in the morning that is what triggers us in a "normal" state to wake up.  So when things are out of whack during benzo wd, the heightened cortisol makes things worse.  Yes, there are moments sometimes days of absolutely no symptoms.  That is a sign that your brain is working to make things right.  Try to avoid stress, as much as possible, it raises cortisol. 

 

You are doing great.  Take it one day at a time.

 

TRY

[[th...]]

I took my 1 mg and will tomorrow at 8am. Thanks for that cortisol explanation. I used to think I was exceptional because I quit smoking cold turkey in 1983 with no trouble at all. I was once young and stupid, now I am just old and stupid (50 something). When I was younger and stupid, I tried various things that were considered highly addictive (coke, meth) and later in life had to take pain killers (OxyContin, Vicodin) for two various severe injuries (was on life support from a near fatal car accident, not impaired at the time. I got off those abruptly, no problems/withdrawals. I am not bragging about this, just surprised that the benzos are  so hard to kick. As I said, a few times over 30 years (I am talking 5 year intervals) I was able to go cold turkey with like 2 days off feeling anxious. So when I started doing this stuff 12 years ago, I thought I can overcome anything. How wrong I was. Last year, on day 5 cold turkey, heart problems. This time, not as bad but I am going to try a 3-5 month wean. Will see what happens when I wake up tomorrow, maybe best to take my 1mg at waking. I was normal 4 hours after but could followed the good seasoned vets here advice to slow down. I used to just take it at night because it helped me sleep.  Here's to recovery for all,I am with you

[[th...]]

Withdrawals not as bad today, but I see the necessity of  a slow, gradual taper.  From 2mg after it turns out,  was 15  years with only one time when I went cold turkey and quit, to 1mg. I know I can do this. Knowing that the calming soldiers are retreating and the agitating troops are getting even but  will reach a truce helps. When I get down to .25mg and cut those into fourths then eights, the war will be over. What is the consensus? Do anti depressants help or make the problem worse? I did resume an ADHD med that has similar effects as Prozac, and it really helped. I know some who have had trouble getting off serotonin reuptake inhibitors, but I had no problems coming off Prozac, Zoloft, and Strattera.  Resuming the last one has helped me a great deal. Brain fog not as bad. Thanks for all your feedback, I am so glad I found this place. Benzos  should only be given for short periods or for terminally ill people or as needed for epilepsy

[[li...]]

One of the reasons you feel better on your ADD drug is because if you do off the ADD drugs while on a benzo you will also go into benzo withdrawl because of the liver clearance time. It increases by up to 50%. I know because my doctor C/T me off Ritalin while still on xanax and I went through brutal xanax withdrawls without even lowering my dose. In fact I raised my dose and suffered terribly for months. Basically this disabled me. I thought this was from Rotalin withdrawl and my doctors kept looking at me funny and saying that Ritalin withdrawl isn't like that and it must just be your anxiety. These doctors know nothing.

 

From personal experience and my research if you are on an ADD drug and a benzo reduce the benzo completely first.

 

 

 

[[th...]]

Thank you for that, I just thought Strattera helped me focus more. That news is kind of disheartening because my Xanax doctors will no longer prescribe it for me because they "cannot monitor the side effects" so I have about a 2 month supply so maybe will take them every other day. I just restarted them when these withdrawals kicked in I restarted like 3 days ago and they seem to have helped.

[[Ol...]]

Old school guy here. Suggestion: take 2 equal does per day at 0700 and then again 10-12 hours later. This will help with the am anxiety. You MUST keep the med in your system equally. do not skip a day and spilt you total dose in two. GO SLOW, stabilize yourself on an everyday .5mg twice a day. Once you feel stabile, cut 3 to 5%, NO MORE. Stabilize again. Remember, split your dose daily.

Good luck. Stay strong.

[[th...]]

Jees, I am in denial. I feel anxious today, its 130pm and I haven't taken my 1mg dose. The anxiety is there, but its tolerable. When I first cut my dose in half, I could barely talk and could not articulate my thoughts. Tomorrow I may try the .5mg dose twice a day instead but what I have admitted was that I also drink alcohol to help me relax and sleep. I am surprised more benzo people do not admit to combining the two, I am guessing a good many of us are also alcoholics. The two work together to provide a maximum calming state of euphoria.  I quit drinking cold turkey after my mom passed in 1991, started up again in 2001. My ex decided she fell in love with some guy she met online, I was too distracted by my father dying from cancer to notice. He died 2 months after the divorce was finalized and I was suicidal for a good 3 years after, I still have trouble trusting people and although I remarried a very kind and supporting woman, I am still depressed and feel like just giving up at times. I know this sounds foolish, but the plan was to shake off the benzos then go cold turkey with the drink. Now that I did without any seizures or withdrawals, it's the benzos that are hard to come of from. Thanks for all the advice thus far.

[[th...]]

God help me. I am at work right now, forgot my .5mg taper. The panic/anxiety attacks aren't as bad, but I am having sweats and mild twitches/convulsions. Will try and ask if I can leave to take my insulin and come back (I already took it) I never asked anyone to pray for me, but I do not want to go into seizures  at work. This is sheer hell. Chest pains too.

[[th...]]

That was close. Didn't have seizure, just mini convulsions. Last night, went to bed early, had a fairly normal dream. I wake up, take my .5mg taper, and when not at work, that always makes me nap. During that nap, the wild dreams I have my head is still whirling. In it, my boss asks me when I started having Xanax withdrawals (I am off work today). In most of them, my parents appear in them (both deceased), and a real common theme in many of them is that I am lost somewhere trying to find my  way home and feeling panic attacks in my dreams. The jitter and the terror behind the panic attacks are lessening, save that one day when I forgot my taper dose at work, I felt the muscles in my arms contracting involuntarily and that created fear that I break down at work. I saw another co-worker at another place have seizures, fall, and crack her head open. She was a decent person, I could smell alcohol on her and being an alcoholic, I took her aside and told her to get  help. I guess the doc put her on a benzo for withdrawals, she came to work smelling of booze so they sent her home, only she drove over the curb and nearly hit someone's car and the supervisor yelled at her not to come back.

[[th...]]

Update. Good days and bad. Yesterday, I felt I could go cold turkey. Today, my day off, bad. Feeling very tense, shaky. My voice quavers when I speak.  Glad I am not at work, people would know something is wrong. God I want to be free of this. Doesn't help that its real hot and humid here, I just feel like I am suffocating when the weather is like this, made me nauseous long before benzo withdrawal.....