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3 years off my benzo drug, today.

[Co...]

By [Co...]
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[Co...]

[Co...]

Posted
Posted

Hello BenzoBuddies members. 

 

Some of you may remember me, Luke in Toronto, aka "Cool Canadian". 

 

It seems like a thousand years ago that my doctor put me on "Dalmane" (Flurazepam) for a PTSD condition.  I was in a horrible situation, to the extent that I simply couldn't fall sleep.  Well, the benzo drug Dalmane worked, and it worked too well.  I stayed on the drug for over 25 years because my body was addicted, and quitting c/t was proving to be devastating - four or five c/t attempts.  Four years ago I decided to taper off.  It took a year to taper, and exactly 3 years ago today I formally declared myself benzo-free.

 

Well, what a time it's been.  Yikes, during withdrawal I've seen the dark side of me and I've finally returned to the normal side of me.  Without a doubt, the worst part of this experience is sleepless nights;  you know what I'm talking about, your thoughts take control of you when you should be sleeping.

 

I'll be terribly frank with all of you.  My health has slipped during these past three years, and that is because of poor sleep.  Things are improving now. 

 

I've told this board before that during the healing, certain supplements that once didn't work now do work.  My sleep cocktail now is 5-HTP, combined with vitamin B6 and GABA.  I am getting respectable sleep. 

 

You are all quitting a benzo drug.  There are good reasons to quit (for the most part).  I think, in my case, the bother has been worthwhile. 

 

Now, I am a retired guy, just over 60, and it is a very beautiful day here where I live, and I will go and enjoy the day.  The lessons learned in my withdrawal / adjustment period are many.  One of the most important lessons is "seize the day".  That PTSD thing that caused me all that grief 30 years ago has taught me something:  we don't have yesterdays, we only have todays and tomorrows. 

 

Much love,

Luke in Toronto

 

 

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[Se...]

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Luke,

 

I remember you from my earliest days on here - a fellow Canadian.  You stood out to me because of your story, the trauma of losing my husband also landed me on a z-drug.  I also tapered around the same time as you, for the same length of time (10 months) and am now off 3 years this May.

 

How great that you came back and posted this success story!  I want to thank you for your posts, they were very inspirational and helped me on my journey.

 

Congratulations for this amazing victory and how wonderful that after all these years you managed to get your life back.  I am so glad that your health issues are resolving; I too had the very good news this year that after almost 3 years off my beleaguered adrenals were finally (!) recovering.  I test every year since my diagnosis of burnout/adrenal exhaustion in 2010 and only now have my results begun to show recovery.  Lack of sleep is so terribly hard on all our body systems - many important hormones are synthesized in Stage 4 sleep and when you don't sleep well you severely impair our body's ability to make hormones necessary for health.

 

I love your attitude towards life and as I heal, I'm trying hard to seize each day as it comes.

 

If I remember Luke, you are a musician?  One of my goals in recovery is to learn how to play a beautiful Martin guitar that my late husband owned and I'm getting close to being able to give it a go!

 

Life awaits us.  If you ever wander out to Vancouver, let me know!

 

:smitten:

 

Ali

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[me...]

[me...]

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Hello Luke,

 

I'm so glad you've healed, it's a long haul for some of us, but we do get there eventually.  Congratulations and thanks for sharing your story!  :smitten:

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[Me...]

[Me...]

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Luke,

 

That's great news. My husband is fast approaching July 19... His three year mark.  He still suffers daily with dizziness, but once in a while I see a glimpse of the old him.

 

Let's all hope and pray that good times are ahead.

 

Some days I think if he hadn't married the eternal optimist he would be on the verge of giving up.

But then someone like you is so gracious to come back and post a message of hope!

 

Thank you so much.

 

Me

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[pi...]

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Luke!!! Thanks for coming back and sharing the news about your recovery. Yes indeed, it is important to live each day fully and appreciate even the little things, the minutia, of every day life. Enjoy your life, savor each day of wellness.

 

PG  :smitten:

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[No...]

[No...]

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Posted

Hello BenzoBuddies members. 

 

Some of you may remember me, Luke in Toronto, aka "Cool Canadian". 

 

It seems like a thousand years ago that my doctor put me on "Dalmane" (Flurazepam) for a PTSD condition.  I was in a horrible situation, to the extent that I simply couldn't fall sleep.  Well, the benzo drug Dalmane worked, and it worked too well.  I stayed on the drug for over 25 years because my body was addicted, and quitting c/t was proving to be devastating - four or five c/t attempts.  Four years ago I decided to taper off.  It took a year to taper, and exactly 3 years ago today I formally declared myself benzo-free.

 

Well, what a time it's been.  Yikes, during withdrawal I've seen the dark side of me and I've finally returned to the normal side of me.  Without a doubt, the worst part of this experience is sleepless nights;  you know what I'm talking about, your thoughts take control of you when you should be sleeping.

 

I'll be terribly frank with all of you.  My health has slipped during these past three years, and that is because of poor sleep.  Things are improving now. 

 

I've told this board before that during the healing, certain supplements that once didn't work now do work.  My sleep cocktail now is 5-HTP, combined with vitamin B6 and GABA.  I am getting respectable sleep. 

 

You are all quitting a benzo drug.  There are good reasons to quit (for the most part).  I think, in my case, the bother has been worthwhile. 

 

Now, I am a retired guy, just over 60, and it is a very beautiful day here where I live, and I will go and enjoy the day.  The lessons learned in my withdrawal / adjustment period are many.  One of the most important lessons is "seize the day".  That PTSD thing that caused me all that grief 30 years ago has taught me something:  we don't have yesterdays, we only have todays and tomorrows. 

 

Much love,

Luke in Toronto

 

I concurr on the sleepless nights. But eventually it gets better. It took me a long time though (and still far from 100%, say  66% ) ^^ .

 

Enjoy your todays and tomorrow! You've accomplished something you can be proud of Cool Canadian

 

Much love from France

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Thanks to everyone for the well wishes. 

 

To those of you who asked if I consider myself totally healed, the answer is "I don't know". 

 

There is something I do know -- that I am showing interest in new things.  I am planning to learn a new language in immersion, and I plan to get my masters degree in music.  These things were not on my mind three years ago.

 

Love you all!

Luke 

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[me...]

[me...]

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Hi Luke,

Hello from a fellow flurazepam user/abuser, you may remember me. I'm finally after 35 years getting off of the amitryptiline I've been on. So glad to hear you are in a positive place now!

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So good to hear from you, Luke!! And to hear that you're interested in learning new things is a wonderful thing!!  :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
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Thanks again to all of you who have shared your well-wishes.

 

There really is nothing in the world like a friend in the time of need.  That is the person you want to have around you -- the one who is there with you for the bad times as well as the good.  And the benzobuddies board is full of "friends in a time of need".  I love you all dearly.

 

That "seize the day" theme -- I'd like to exploit it for the moment.  It's another gorgeous day here where I live and it makes me wonder what experiences await once I go out my front door.  That is a turnaround from the me of three years ago, when I was just crammed with self-doubt.  I think I have done a lot of healing. 

 

So, what is it that I am trying to say?  I believe I am saying that no matter how difficult, we all must eventually tear ourselves away from thoughts of yesterday and actively make all the tomorrows really good.  My own way of doing this is by getting involved in new things and getting outside myself. 

 

Fondly,

Luke in Toronto

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[ma...]

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Thanks to everyone for the well wishes. 

 

To those of you who asked if I consider myself totally healed, the answer is "I don't know". 

 

There is something I do know -- that I am showing interest in new things.  I am planning to learn a new language in immersion, and I plan to get my masters degree in music.  These things were not on my mind three years ago.

 

Love you all!

Luke

 

I am late getting here Luke, I am so happy life is going well, you so deserve it!  I also thank you for keeping us updated, I am always interested to know how your getting on Luke.

 

This is wonderful news, i am sure you will get your Masters, good luck to you. 

 

Let is know how you get on.

 

Magrita :smitten:

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