I couldn't feel the bottom half of my body yesterday, such fun!

[[se...]]

I am now 15 months out from about a 3 month, previous dry taper off of Klonopin for years (way, way too fast of a dry taper) and I'm now in a 2 1/2 month awful wave. Before this last wave I thought I was getting better by phases? Guess not. I'm in for the long haul anyway, right? And what to do? Be patient, that's all I really can do, I'm fresh out of options besides taking really good care of myself, meditating and trying to be positive. In this last wave, I'm soooo fatigued, dead tired, muscle tension, you name it. But a lot of the symptoms I as experiencing in the first year have gone, except a few pop back. I still think I have something else going besides the w/d because I seem to much more weak and fatigued than the vast majority of you, but time will tell. I'm so weak that it's a trial to carry one back of light groceries, if I do? I pay for it all next day and then some. That's how bad. Anyway, it's important to eat for so many of us who are hypoglycemic (I do think this is another w/d symptom, or it has been exacerbated by the w/d) because yesterday I did one too many errands (I could have gotten away with one, I think) but I forced myself to do two. While in the grocery store getting a snack, the bottom half of my body disappeared, or might as well have, because I couldn't feel it. It's absolutely the strangest sensation, or lack thereof, to not feel your legs walking. I try to shake my legs to feel them, and I barely do. This has happened only one or two times before. I'm pretty good at talking myself down from an anxiety attack, I've had to be. I learned the tools to talk myself down because I was going to run out of the store while I was waiting in line, but I forced myself to stay in line and pay for it, because I KNEW I needed to eat!!!! It's odd to think that I'm just standing there in line with other people, and these people have NO IDEA what's going on in my head. That I'm wanting to run out of the store. That I can't feel my own legs. Anyway, I'm glad you are all here to understand, as I understand you all. We all know that most people DO NOT understand this madness. Thankfully, I have a friend who is making a documentary on all this, it will soon be finished. Get our stories out there! Be well everyone, and have the best weekend you can have! Love to all of you! Fellow travelers!  :smitten:

[[Li...]]

God bless your heart!!  What a terrible thing to have happen!!  You can't make this bizzare stuff up.  I did a dry taper too with cuts that were too big in the beginning.  I don't know if it's why I'm suffering so badly now or not.  I have been terribly tired and exhausted too. 

 

It's great that others are getting the news out there any way they can.  They are much appreciated!! 

 

I pray you have better days soon serenity..

 

Lilly555 

[[se...]]

Thanks so much, Lilly! Yes, as HORRIBLE as it was to dry taper way too fast as I did, I sometimes think, we'll...at least I got it over with. I know that's not the right attitude, and people should try to be patient with a long taper so that they feel better doing it. I remember reading Lost Dog's Success Story (Like everyone else here, hah!) and him saying that sometimes when we are a year and one-half out, etc...It's sometimes tougher because we've been sick for so damn long and it doesn't seem like it will ever let up. What's so hard for me is that when I do feel better, since it's been so long, I start hoping that it means that I'm on way to feeling good again, and I'm over and out with the w/d/ Then a wave hits me again. So disappointing and heart-rending. But like Lost Dog also says, pay attention to what's better (and there are things that are better, I can drive now, not as well as I'd like, the little bit of depersonalization that happens when driving is a bit scary, but so far, it's been okay)I do think it's the human condition to focus more on what's wrong, then what's right. Anyway, I hope today was better for you and all of us.

[[so...]]

You don't have a signature serenity.  How far are you out?

 

Sofa

[[Li...]]

I agree serenity.. we do tend to focus on the bad and not the good.  I can say that my windows, when I do have one, are longer now.  And when I've had setbacks it was medication for tests or infection that caused it.  Though I should expect it, it's difficult not becoming discouraged when a wave comes and lasts for a month.. 

[[Be...]]

When I was in tolerance and interdose withdrawal, one day I couldn't "see" or feel my body from the neck down.  Usually we're aware of our own bodies and can sense them.  This day it was like I had a head and no body.  That was right before I had the seizure at work.  Serious brain damage here for me.