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Intrusive/looping/racing thoughts


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So I'm thrilled to report that emotionally I've improved a lot. Last week seemed to be a big turning point for me. I can socialize and function with ease, relatively speaking.

 

However, my intrusive thoughts are one of my current and most disturbing sxs. I thought I'd start a thread for those who would like to share. Although, they can be so embarrasing, I don't expect many to reveal theirs. But, I'll jump in head first and hopefully break the ice.

 

My thoughts are scary. It's like my brain is on speed. I think of things I believe I normally would, but everyone starts speaking VERY fast, like they're on fast forward. Also, (brace yourselves), people's heads keep exploding. (?? I know, right?!) it's like my mind is playing a gruesome horror movie on FF in my mind. It's ridiculous and sounds crazy, but, I wanted to share. Hopefully it'll comfort others and will allow others to feel safe sharing.

 

Blessings to all!

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Yes, I have this very bad.  Just when I think the bizarre thinking can't get any worse, something else crazy will enter my mind.  I don't share what the thoughts, except to my husband (who loves me unconditionally--thank God), because I don't want to be labeled crazy.  I NEVER experienced anything like this prior to benzo or psyche med use.  So, with that said, I pray for all of this to go away as I get off the meds.  You are NOT alone in this!  I have 4 months to go before the taper is over.  My doc said I may need to slow it down toward the end but I'm not going to.  I want off everything and as fast as I can!  I keep holding on!  Thanks for sharing!  :smitten:
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Yes, I have this very bad.  Just when I think the bizarre thinking can't get any worse, something else crazy will enter my mind.  I don't share what the thoughts, except to my husband (who loves me unconditionally--thank God), because I don't want to be labeled crazy.  I NEVER experienced anything like this prior to benzo or psyche med use.  So, with that said, I pray for all of this to go away as I get off the meds.  You are NOT alone in this!  I have 4 months to go before the taper is over.  My doc said I may need to slow it down toward the end but I'm not going to.  I want off everything and as fast as I can!  I keep holding on!  Thanks for sharing!  :smitten:

 

That's exactly why I was hoping to break the ice. Although, I said, I don't expect many to share, at least specifics. Don't get frightened that I'm almost 6 months out and still experiencing this wd. I've talked to many who are functional by the end of the taper or shortly after.

 

Yes, I certainly feel crazy. I'm not scared to share my thoughts anymore though because they're just that - thoughts, due to a racing, overactive mind. When the day comes where people stop shouting and speed talking or their head's aren't exploding, I'll be one happy camper. Like every other aspect of this - if we weren't like this before benzos, no need to think we'll be like this after we heal.

 

Your words are comforting. None of us are alone! I'm so grateful to not feel like an anxious shut in all the time anymore! This is real progress and you are making it, too! Onward and upward, my friend!

 

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Wow, I am so glad I found this. I've recently started experiencing bizarre racing thoughts that just go around and around in my head. It feels like all the other thoughts leave my head and all that is left is this jumbled string of words and phrases. Everything becomes sped up and it's like I can't access any other thoughts except this one looping track. It really scares me and I feel like I'm going crazy.

 

Thank you for starting this! I feel this is very isolating and it really helps to know I am not alone.  :)

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Wow, I am so glad I found this. I've recently started experiencing bizarre racing thoughts that just go around and around in my head. It feels like all the other thoughts leave my head and all that is left is this jumbled string of words and phrases. Everything becomes sped up and it's like I can't access any other thoughts except this one looping track. It really scares me and I feel like I'm going crazy.

 

Thank you for starting this! I feel this is very isolating and it really helps to know I am not alone.  :)

 

I didn't expect many people to go into detail as it makes us all feel crazy, but my goal was to hopefully help others. I'm actually almost functioning. Starting last week, I've been going out with friends, BBQing, I went to the movies last night, etc. (It's not 100% easy yet, but it's gotten so much *easier*.) However my most problematic symtpom are my thoughts still.

 

But, this too shall pass! I'm glad it was of some value to you. Hang on, my friend, and keep going! Even our thoughts "become our own," the all say.

 

💪🏼👍🏼

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This is my worst symptom too.

 

Mine are like Stephen King and Satan are having a picnic. They ARE improving, THANK GOD. They were SO STRONG last month, I started to have such strong fear come with them.  I searched on here and found others with the same thoughts. I also talked to my therapist and a friend about them. They reassured me that they are just thoughts and that behavior is a another thing. I did not act any out. In fact, the reason I am so upset about them is because I'm a highly moral person and would NEVER act things out like that.

 

 

Since I stopped keeping them a secret and told 3 people IN PERSON about them, it seems they lost their power. They are still here- maybe 1 per day instead of 20 and the intensity is nowhere near what it was even 2 weeks ago. I have tried to accept them and stop trying to push them away. Like oh wow- look at all that blood, how ridiculous. It seems to help a little.

 

I also read an article online about intrusive thoughts that helped me. The writer said that we have an anxiety issue, not an impulse control issue. That made me feel so much safer.

 

I can't wait until this symptom is gone. It's been my worst symptom by far and in acute it was so much worse!

 

 

Edit: removed disallowed content

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This is my worst symptom too.

 

Mine are like Stephen King and Satan are having a picnic. Bloody, death, people hurt or injured, me swerving into traffic, me pushing someone down the steps. They ARE improving, THANK GOD. They were SO STRONG last month, I started to have such strong fear come with them, I was so scared I would hurt someone because of how crappy and amped up they made me feel. I searched on here and found others with the same thoughts. I also talked to my therapist and a friend about them. They reassured me that they are just thoughts and that behavior is a another thing. I did not act any out. In fact, the reason I am so upset about them is because I'm a highly moral person and would NEVER act things out like that.

 

 

Since I stopped keeping them a secret and told 3 people IN PERSON about them, it seems they lost their power. They are still here- maybe 1 per day instead of 20 and the intensity is nowhere near what it was even 2 weeks ago. I have tried to accept them and stop trying to push them away. Like oh wow- look at all that blood, how ridiculous. It seems to help a little.

 

I also read an article online about intrusive thoughts that helped me. The writer said that we have an anxiety issue, not an impulse control issue. That made me feel so much safer.

 

I can't wait until this symptom is gone. It's been my worst symptom by far and in acute it was so much worse!

 

Ang I'm so glad you shared specifics! You inspire me. You're a fearless, tough bi$?@, I can tell! Ha!! We'd be friends in real life. 😂😂😂💪🏼

 

Same here, my friend. I always say Tim Burton and Stephen King would be jealous. And I'm not embarrassed anymore. I can't say they're improving *much*, but I meet this entire thing with grace now. It'll pass soon. I'm so glad yours are slowing down. I think of you often when I come on here because our timelines are similar. I hope you're starting to see *significant* relief, too. If not, soon! Maybe I'll hop back on the jump club's thread and write a little message of hope there. (I think I was ahead of everyone. Hopefully nobody needs be hope, though!)

 

Keep at it, Ang. You inspire me!

Steve

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Good evening everyone-

 

The following is from Baylissa Fredrick and had brought me inmeasurable piece of mind during the beginning of this journey. Hopefully it serves its purpose in reassuring you all. Things get better my friends. Just breathe and know that it really is W/D.

 

Please see below:

 

Having unwanted thoughts/feelings is a symptom that causes a lot of distress and confusion to a significant percentage of people in both benzodiazepine and antidepressant withdrawal. It occurs in more people than you imagine, but because it is frightening and embarrassing, it is seldom disclosed or discussed. I have included feelings here as sometimes the thoughts are accompanied by urges.

Actually, this is the one symptom that I have had more than a few doctors (in withdrawal) contact me to ask if I had heard of before. It is a scary symptom that can result in one being misdiagnosed and possibly medicated. If you have had it or still do, I hope what I write here will help.

How do I know they are due to withdrawal?

This symptom causes intrusive, unwanted, sometimes repetitive thoughts which can include thoughts of suicide, death and taboo subjects such as inappropriate sexual urges, images, thoughts and obsessions. They can vary or have just one persistent theme.

When I did my chemical dependency training in Houston, we were taught how to assess clients in order to determine when a thought warranted professional attention or when it was withdrawal- related and could be expected to go when recovery was attained.

 Were these thoughts experienced prior to withdrawal – whether due to tolerance or discontinuing the drug?

 

 Are other symptoms present?

If you are experiencing a cluster of symptoms that surfaced around the time of the unwanted thoughts, then it is more than likely that the thoughts are withdrawal-induced. However, there have been a few instances where the person had just the thoughts and no other symptoms. The important criterion is that it was not a pre-existing issue.

 

 

Coping

Provided you are emotionally safe, it is possible to cope successfully with unwanted thoughts. Yes, they can be extremely distressing but being able to put them into context – that they are withdrawal-related, that you did not have them prior, and that you don’t have to believe them, act on them or own them – will make you better able to manage.

If you can consider them in the same way you consider the other symptoms – pain, tinnitus, gastric problems, etc. – you will cope well. Eventually they will either lessen in intensity and frequency, or they will completely go spontaneously. Whichever pattern unfolds, this symptom does not last, as many who have had it and are now better will confirm.

 

cceptance

What can happen is that the more resistant you are, the stronger the thoughts will dominate and torment. They become all-encompassing until it is difficult to remember a time you didn’t have them and you start to believe they will never go away. Instead of resisting them and struggling against them, they can be observed and accepted.

The concept of mindful acceptance works very well in dealing with these unwanted, distressing thoughts.

 

“When we are more practiced in using mindfulness, we can use it even in times of intense distress, by becoming mindful of the actual experience as an objective observer, using mindful breathing and concentrating attention on breathing with the body's experience, listening to the distressing thoughts mindfully, recognising them as merely thoughts, breathing with them, allowing them to happen without believing them or arguing with them.

If thoughts are too strong or loud, then we can move attention to our breath, the body, or to sounds in the environment. We can use kindness and compassion for ourselves and for the elements of the body and mind's experience. May I be filled with peace and ease. May I be safe." (Brantley 2007).

A good way of looking at this is to imagine there are two layers:

1. The first layer is that you are having these thoughts. This is a symptom. You are in a situation that you cannot prevent and have no control over.

2. The second layer, over which you have control, is how you interpret having the thoughts and how your interpretation affects you.

If you struggle against the thoughts: “I want these thoughts to go. I hate having them. I hate how they make me feel. I won’t have any peace until they go,” this will create a neurochemical reaction in the brain that will increase your anxiety and distress.

If you are able to detach and observe the thoughts without judgement, without resisting and with acceptance, and put them into context, “I am in withdrawal. This is a known withdrawal symptom. I don’t like having these thoughts but there is nothing I can do. I understand that they are thoughts and will eventually go.”

See if you can imagine the thoughts as a large wave coming towards you and as it makes contact, instead of struggling against it, you calmly ride it by taking your attention to your breath. With practice, this will help. All you do is you observe the thoughts, without judgement, and take your awareness to your breathing, you will notice a difference. Try it and see. Don’t analyse or become preoccupied with the content or process, just breathe. All you need to do is breathe.

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Thanks for that, Leo! I've read and shared that before. Recovery road is a good resource. I hope you're well!
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I have been experincing this also, just recently (very end of taper).  During the day I get looping songs (obsessive, not just "ear worms").  At  night, occasionally, it is gruesome images rolling through my mind - HORRID, and almost laughable, like straight out of an 80s horror flick!  Luckily it happens when I'm really tired and about to fall asleep, so I don't have to deal with them for long. Such a bizarre symptom  :D

 

Take care everyone!

 

Xo

WR

 

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When I innocently didn't take my ativan dose one night (thought I could just stop - ha!), I landed in the ER the next morning feeling completely bonkers. It was really scary, I felt so awful. But the ER staff was pretty entertained by the fact that I had David Bowie's "Starman" looping non-stop through my head.

 

Let all the children boogie.

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I have been experincing this also, just recently (very end of taper).  During the day I get looping songs (obsessive, not just "ear worms").  At  night, occasionally, it is gruesome images rolling through my mind - HORRID, and almost laughable, like straight out of an 80s horror flick!  Luckily it happens when I'm really tired and about to fall asleep, so I don't have to deal with them for long. Such a bizarre symptom  :D

 

Take care everyone!

 

Xo

WR

 

Thanks for sharing! I'm glad you found relief. Mine don't bother me if I distract but otherwise, they're here.  Gruesome from a horror movie is a perfect way to say it! Just today I thought, "this one better go, or I'm in trouble," lol!! Hey, at least I can laugh.

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When I innocently didn't take my ativan dose one night (thought I could just stop - ha!), I landed in the ER the next morning feeling completely bonkers. It was really scary, I felt so awful. But the ER staff was pretty entertained by the fact that I had David Bowie's "Starman" looping non-stop through my head.

 

Let all the children boogie.

 

Thanks for sharing! Blessings!

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illneverdothisagain I tried to reply to the pm you sent me but it says

 

"User 'illneverdothisagain' has blocked your personal message."

 

what's up with that?

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illneverdothisagain I tried to reply to the pm you sent me but it says

 

"User 'illneverdothisagain' has blocked your personal message."

 

what's up with that?

 

That's really upsetting because I have no idea how to block/unblock. I learned about a month or two ago for some of the creepers, and you definitely aren't a creeper?? I had a buddy list I added about a dozen people I used to follow closely. I know I added you to that, unless I accidentally added you to the wrong list?

 

I'll PM challis or magrita and ask for instructions!! I'm kind of pissed now. I wonder if everyone who I wanted on my buddy list is on my blocked list!!

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My worst and almost only sx postaper!, rage was the other one, but the thoughts, geee, hellish! The most normal thought is my house being robbed, now it is not very intense nor frequent. At two months were the worse and the more crazy, tragedies happening to my family, constant looping and horrid looping/intrusive/disabling thoughts, lasted 2 weeks. I still have this sx at times. Yoga and meditation help me a lot. The good news is that it is a sx, and we do get better  :)
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Ang ya there? You and about 4 others were on my "ignore" list. I'm sorry! Lol! I wasn't well back when I did that. All 5 were supposed to go on my buddy list! :smitten:
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My worst and almost only sx postaper!, rage was the other one, but the thoughts, geee, hellish! The most normal thought is my house being robbed, now it is not very intense nor frequent. At two months were the worse and the more crazy, tragedies happening to my family, constant looping and horrid looping/intrusive/disabling thoughts, lasted 2 weeks. I still have this sx at times. Yoga and meditation help me a lot. The good news is that it is a sx, and we do get better  :)

 

2 weeks? I'm jealous! It progressively got worse as physical sxs dropped and now it breaks up finally, but it's still very much here. I hear it may last but will eventually go, like everything. Thanks so much for sharing and I'm so glad! Yes! Amen to healing!

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I have been experincing this also, just recently (very end of taper).  During the day I get looping songs (obsessive, not just "ear worms").  At  night, occasionally, it is gruesome images rolling through my mind - HORRID, and almost laughable, like straight out of an 80s horror flick!  Luckily it happens when I'm really tired and about to fall asleep, so I don't have to deal with them for long. Such a bizarre symptom  :D

 

Take care everyone!

 

Xo

WR

 

Problem with me is that it isn't laughable.  I've actually developed PTSD as a result of the thoughts.  Night is bad and morning is worst after I first wake up.  I try to distract ALL day!  ???

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I have been experincing this also, just recently (very end of taper).  During the day I get looping songs (obsessive, not just "ear worms").  At  night, occasionally, it is gruesome images rolling through my mind - HORRID, and almost laughable, like straight out of an 80s horror flick!  Luckily it happens when I'm really tired and about to fall asleep, so I don't have to deal with them for long. Such a bizarre symptom  :D

 

Take care everyone!

 

Xo

WR

 

Problem with me is that it isn't laughable.  I've actually developed PTSD as a result of the thoughts.  Night is bad and morning is worst after I first wake up.  I try to distract ALL day!  ???

 

You're still in your taper, 1waye. Trust me, it just feels like PTSD. Don't fear it. It makes it worse. You will get there -- I know it! You may even have most of your sxs drop by the end of your taper!

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I have been experincing this also, just recently (very end of taper).  During the day I get looping songs (obsessive, not just "ear worms").  At  night, occasionally, it is gruesome images rolling through my mind - HORRID, and almost laughable, like straight out of an 80s horror flick!  Luckily it happens when I'm really tired and about to fall asleep, so I don't have to deal with them for long. Such a bizarre symptom  :D

 

Take care everyone!

 

Xo

WR

 

Problem with me is that it isn't laughable.  I've actually developed PTSD as a result of the thoughts.  Night is bad and morning is worst after I first wake up.  I try to distract ALL day!  ???

 

Mine were pretty bad while I was still on too. It will get better once you are off- I promise. JUST HANG ON PLEASE>

 

Mine got very suicidal and very strong and that is why I was forced to cold turkey (It was my idea not the doctors).

 

If you ever need someone to share them with, I would be happy to share mine with you if in private message if you ever need that. Please don't battle these alone. They can feel very real!

 

 

 

 

 

All straightened out with illneverdothis again. Just didn't want to leave everyone hanging. He apologized  :laugh: :laugh:

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Is anyone elses looping  intrusive  thoughts engrained with terror torment  in a psychotic  like fashion dark ominous trapped and attached to akathisia?
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