Traumatizing fast taper,got back on reg dose,how do I get off managebly?

[[co...]]

I've had OCD since I could remember (5yrsold). Panic attacks started at 16 (&general ''nervousness", trembling hands,etc). RLS, Depression,& Fibromyalgia started at 27. I'm 43 now. Just got out of mental hospital where I went in cuz I was having a mental breakdown & needed help for my overloaded, knotted up, stressed beyond max state. I ended up with the 1 mean psychiatrist who didn't go over ANYthing with me, his 1 min ''appts'' in the hallways were just to say he 'saw' me. I didn't know he was taking me off clonazapam until the day I was leaving. Since the nurse said here's your clonazapam everyday(along with my other meds) I thought ''ok, he's not touching my clonazapam so I can focus on my depression while I'm here.'' Since the nurse said nothing has changed in meds, I really thought I was going crazy on day 4 when I woke up gasping, day 5 was room spinning& so antsy, skin crawling and I was sent home to take care of my kids that way. UNBELIEVABLE.

 

I asked the nurse what is going on & she went & got a weeks worth of info from the pharmacy. Turns out this psychiatrist ''tapered'' me off from my 1mg X 4 to one LAST .25 mg pill literally while I was being discharged. So within 5 days it went from 1mg 4times a day to A single .25 pill on my way home to my kiddos with skin crawling & unable to stand up. I thought I was going crazy for days at the hosp & this psychiatrist didn't tell me a thing. I'm usually in 24/7 pain with the Fibromyalgia & was in pain all week at the hosp but I attributed it to the missing tylenol 500 I usually take X4. So they gave me one last .25 & hasta la vista. After 15 yrs on clonazapam & it was like BOOM, I was ''off''. Like they ''fixed'' me or something. I could sue so bad for them sending me home to 3 kids in the state I was in.

Luckily or (unluckily) I had a whole bottle from my outside psychiatrist waiting 4 me when I got home. Since I just found out AS I was going home & got the worst & illest of symptoms on my way out & couldn't even stand, I took a pill as soon as I got home. EEESH. It was a nightmare. I once upon a time (since it's been 15 yrs) was on 2mgX4. It never made me sleepy or anything, it just regularized me so I could be normal, no panic, no shaky hands, no RLS, no trembling. No 1 could ever tell me my whole life why I had this nervousness. Never did drugs, no caffeine, nothing could explain why I could never sit still. There was lots of trial & error & nothing worked on me until clonazapam. When I was on 2mgX4 (Which could kill a horse, but just made me 'regular' a non-nervous normal human being. I was appreciative of one doc who split that in half to the 1mg X4 with proponolol 10mgx4. It kept me the same, non nervous. So I said 'cool'.

No one wants 2B on benzos on purpose. I've never abused because I never had to, besides if you a abuse a script, you run out at the end of the month. ANYHOO, I had to go back to 1mgX4 with the bottle I had. My new psychiatrist (with the new DEA or whatever regulations totally wiping out any1 on benzos) is having to take me off & but wants to do it properly but the DEA or whoever didn't think it thru when they have no replacement for it & for those who genuinely need it or something for nervousness. They can give me mountains of buspar, they've tried everything b4 I even got on clonazapam. So my new psych is "thinking" & has a huge headache & responsibility in front of her with not just me but on how to get every1 coming to her switched to something. But the something hasn't shown it's face yet. I seem to have come to this new pyschiatrist at the same time the DEA or whoever is making all psychiatrists get people off asap. Like great! Here I am needing to get off slowwww as possible when she's faced with having to get every1 off as fast as possible. I need to tell her up front, i CAN'T care who's breathing down your neck, I can't function & take care of my kids or self w/o a slow taper, or w/o something to take it's place, or w/o something to ease this heavy burden of brain & body stuckness/sickness/petrified wood/curled up in a corner feeling (can't think of a word).

 

When she said the 1st time she saw me that 'I'm off'' & that with the half life being ''short'' it should be out of my body...I was like then why was my skin still crawling & my body not doing what my brain is telling me? I didn't know the TRUE story of getting off until Googled something & read a post somewhere last week about the longgg hard battle of the brain having to re-adjust. It's not just a simple half-life & it's out of your life type of thing. Sheeesh.

[glow=red,2,300]She did say at our 1st meeting ''you were tapered OFF & you should be fine'' & went on to say about the half life is short & should be out of your SYSTEM. Oh like you mean the PAIN, complete confusion, dizziness, nausea, and the inability to do ANYthing for myself let alone my kids is OUT of my SYSTEM???[/glow] I know I'm jumping around here, but at home (B4 the trauma of the hosp) I was able to do 1mgX3 & had that extra 1mg sorta stockpiled for those extra stressful days. So when I got home I thought I can do 1mg X2, that didn't work, I was like petrified wood physically & had a bucket next to me 4 nausea because I was 2 dizzy to stand up. So it went back to my 1mgX3 & it DID'NT work as it usually did, so it went back to the as prescribed 1mgx4 & then that wasn't working either.

 

IDK what happened, I guess the trauma in the hospital really got to me or shocked my body & brain TOO much. I'm still doing the 1mgX4, but I'm still SO nauseated I don't know what to do. I'm seeing her again on May 25. I need to go in with some REAL life info from the people that really know. BENZOBUDDIES. The ones who know the REAL toll of benzos & what it really takes to get off & what's a MANAGEABLE taper when you have 3 kids to take care of. I'm so willing to get off BUT w/o discomfort of fireants under my skin or being next to a bucket or the room spinning. & what's going to replace clonzapam? I'm sure moving me up from propanolol 4X a day to 8X's to make me feel normal isn't the answer or even possible. Just looking for some knowledge of what this is really going to take for my brain & body to accept being tapered off & how the tapering should be. I know one thing for sure, after 15 yrs of clonazapam, a 4-5 day taper to nothing & a good luck to you isn't gonna cut it. I still need something for the underlying nervousness I've always had.

 

Sorry to the board this isn't how I wanted to introdruce myself. It seems I'm rambling on & not about ''me''. I'm also on (from pain mgt doc for Fibromyalgia) Norco 5mgX4, Gabapentin 600mgX4, Zanaflex 4mg@nite only for sleep (it knocks me out) actually they all make me sleepy. From psychiatrist previous to hospital stay... Clonazapam 1mg X4, propanolol 10mg X4, phenergan (which I have but don't usually have to take/very very rarely, but have had to daily since I got out of hosp).

 

15 yrs ago Fibromyalgia was SO hard to diagnose... side effects of Lyrica & Cymbalta were too much to handle & stay on. Pain got so bad, old pain mgt doc gave me morphine quick release, I was thankful at the time because w/in 15 mins I was able to pop out of bed and take care of my kids but after 2 months I had to say ''I know I can't continue like this'' so i asked to lower onto something else, then it became Vicodin 7.5X 4 or 5 if needed. Within the last 2yrs my body started waking me out of my sleep (whenever I did get to sleep...Fibro/Chronic Fatigue can actually keep you awake for days or you don't get TRUE R.E.M sleep EVER) so after my body started ''requesting'' the vicodin every 5hrs wether I was in pain or not; that's when I said oh hell no, so that's when I said to my pain mgt doc, I want off. So I went down to 5mgx4 on Norco, which is now my plateau of what I seem to not be able to get even a chip off that w/o being in excruciating pain or w/drawing very badly (within every 5hrs) so I'm going thru that crap also. UGH. Pain mgt upped my Gabapentin from 600mg 3X to 600mgX4 (upped due to shooooting leg pain)  he prescribed way more more but I couldn't take it, it knocked me out & made me physically sick. I am prescribed Wellbutrin 200 but don't take (I don't want to take you into the realm of my antidepressant nightmares).

 

I did leave the latest hosp visit with Baclofen 10mgX3, but I feel it doing nothing besides maybe making me tired & not taking care of any nervousness &/or cramping that I have. OY, a scary thing from the hospital that I just remembered happened was I went to take my pills the nurse just gave me & I went to raise my arm up to drink the water & my arm wouldn't go up, scared the crap out of me. A usual function I do like a million times a day, and my arm just stopped, it wouldn't go to my mouth. I was so scared why my brain wasn't working now (this was at the hosp when that mean psych didn't tell me I was being tapered off) I mean, my brain NOT doing such a normal function??? Also waking up on the floor with bite marks on my tongue. 

 

So since IDK what my new psych is going to decide next Tues May 25th, Im very scared. I need to take care of my kids & I do need something 4 my life long nervousness that led to clonazapam in the 1st place. BTW, I'm very high tolerance, I don't absorb squat. whenever I have a surgery or procedure, nurses wonder why I'm still talking...I'm all 'what?' & they say you should've been knocked out by now. I didn't know or never know when they put the sedation meds in me thru the IV, it may as well have been saline. Same for vitamins & supplements. If I take a vitamin...nada, if my ex took a vitamin he becomes superman. Peevs me off so bad.

 

I'm sooo worried about the long term effects that clonazapam has done to my brain (I already have mega major Fibrofog...feels like early Althemeirz <sp>) & I'm also dealing with the fact I'm having to get off Norco almost at the same time. Like which one first? & to think I've had anxiety BEFORE the depression & Fibro. & to think I've had anxiousness b4 I even knew Ihad to get OFF clonazapam or Norco. Vicious cycle that landed me here, more vicious to get off. Thanks for ANY and ALL help you can give even if it's prayers !!! If all I've written doesn't make sense, I'll be checking in to clarify anything. Sorry, I'm so tense & in pain. Even short texts don't make sense. I go back & re-read & I don't even understand what I was thinking. I'm totally WHAT THAAA??? It really feels  like all I did was get on a cool roller coaster that I liked, that calmed me & made me happy excited then u get hooked on it thinking it's doing no harm; it's making me feel way better, but then you can't get off the concept of the roller coaster & then your life becomes a roller coaster. K, I'll be quiet now. Sorry I type fast, my thoughts are everywhere & have LOTS to say. Thanks.

[[be...]]

Hi  Welcome to BenzoBuddies!

 

I am glad you fðound us today.The recommended reduction rate is 5 to 10 percent every two weeks. Stopping too quickly can cause some pretty rough symptoms as you found out. Your doctor is right. It is very short acting. However, that only means that withdrawal only sets in quicker than a longer acting benzo such as Valium. That is when they real withdrawal begins.

 

 

You might like to check out The Ashton Manual it is an authoritative source on what to expect in withdrawal and recovery.  Dr. Ashton is an expert in the field. 

 

Please feel free to post to any of the dedicated boards, we have a wonderful community of people here, who will give sound advice. Members have been through all aspects of benzodiazepine use and withdrawal and are more than willing to share their experiences.

 

General Taper Plans

 

Please take the time to Create a Signature.  This will allow others to see where you are in the process so they can better support you.

 

Again Welcome! 

 

benzos-R-cruel

[[ti...]]

what is going on with being prescribed benzos?  i was taken from 8 mgs xanax a day to 4 mg in 2 months,  and everyone if my assocuates has had theur scripts lowered or taken away completeky in last 3 months.

[[co...]]

Yeah, IDK who is responsible all of a sudden to make all the psychiatric field start these fast tapering things. Soooo fast, it's creating more anxiety in me just knowing I have to get off fast because my psychiatrist is having to do it to everyone. It's a new law or something. I'm just hoping this new law still allows her to taper off her patients slowly and not like pull a rug from underneath us. Obviously it's causing a lot of suffering and anxiety that you are told ''ok you got 2 weeks to get off and no more benzos 4 u'' . Im all for getting off  this benzo roller coaster, but plzzzz make it a baby coaster as much as you can doctor. I don't want my taper to be the steepest drop and then you're just stuck with the suffering of withdraws that comes after that steep fast drop.

 

Psychiatrists got us on these benzos, I hope they have the compassion to get us off in a way that's not too punishing. We are patients, please listen to us and know that we still have a life to live and things to do and please have the knowledge of what it really does to us when and while you are taking us off. Like my psych said first time I saw her, it's ''out of your system'', but the suffering really has just begun because the brain and body is ''still in it'' or in a massive recovery.

[[ti...]]

well i have been dependent on xanax several times in past so i cannot blame the dr or psychiatrist,  i knew exactly what i was doing when i went and got script.  I asked dr if we could slow my taper which im already lower than 4 mgs in fact im down to 2.5 mg.  I am okay physically feeling mostly but mentally im so damaged and a shell of my former self. saddenning.