going on a trip - advice?

[[er...]]

Hey All,

 

Okay, so I think what I'm about to do is crazy.. but I've committed so I'm going to follow through.  I'm going to fly from Denver to NYC and take a shuttle bus to Connecticut next Wednesday, 5/25.  I'm going to see my brother (who's not the nicest of guys) and we're going to sail in a 30' boat from Westport to Block Island with his 2 boys, who I really don't know well at all.  I'm going to be gone for 6 days and right now that seems like a really long time to be away from home w/ a compromised CNS.

 

I'm only 75 days post jump, and i'm just starting to feel somewhat okay.  I've heard that stressors (like this trip) can cause setbacks, and i'm a little nervous.  But, I don't like living my life in fear, so I said I'd go.. I'm trying to be optimistic, but, lately, I've liked things to be 'as stable as possible' and am perfectly happy being boring.  I'm just grateful i'm not having crying fits and as one guy on BB said, dealing with anxiety like "you're in a room with a tiger".. lol.  (i think that's the best description i've heard of our anxiety sometimes..)

 

Anyway, I'm wondering if anyone has any advice about how to handle things on the trip, how to 'position' my fragile CNS to my non-understanding brother..?  or, if anyone has any experience traveling while in w/d..?  do's / don'ts? - any comments would be very welcome! - Thanks, Eric

[[Bl...]]

That sounds relaxing, not stressful, so I don't think it will cause a set back. Just make sure you get enough sleep and avoid alcohol. You say your brother is the nicest guy, then I would explain to him that your CNS is fragile at the moment so you may have to take it easy. If he as as nice as you say, I think he will be understanding of your situation and want to help you out!

[Guest [ba...]]

Be accepting.  Be trusting.  Go with the flow.  No competition, no conflict.  Be forgiving.

[[il...]]

I have no advice because that sounds like something I just couldn't do yet. But I applaud you! Load up in nutritious foods and meditate. I stopped with the supplements and even teas. I've made a few connections and they were making me worse. Best of luck! Looking forward to seeing how it was when you return! I'm sure you'll do great!

[[er...]]

I have no advice because that sounds like something I just couldn't do yet. But I applaud you! Load up in nutritious foods and meditate. I stopped with the supplements and even teas. I've made a few connections and they were making me worse. Best of luck! Looking forward to seeing how it was when you return! I'm sure you'll do great!

 

Thanks everybody for your thoughts.. Hey, "illneverdothisagain" thanks.. i'm not sure if i can do it or not, but i'm trying to be 'open' to the idea!  i'm mostly worried about not getting enough sleep, as my sleep has been extremely valuable to me.  I saw your post about changing your diet, that's what we call in AA, "advanced sobriety".. did you say that you'd like to go to meetings?  my aa meetings help me a lot, i can discuss my benzo issues with people i know there and it's been very helpful.  i'm glad i haven't had a drink in about 4 years.. i'm going to start working on my diet as well.. thanks again! - Eric

[[il...]]

Awesome man. I think it's great you're opening yourself up to it. If it were absolutely out of the question, you'd know. So being that you want to, that tells me you're ready. You got this!

 

I want to for local support, but I can't bring myself to go around here where I live. I'm also on a tight budget so I can't afford to drive for meetings every day. The change in diet seems to be helping to avoid the awful flare ups. I still don't do much. Still can't read, cognition is struggling, insomnia is bad still, etc. but, could always be worse, right?

 

Yeah, I'd love to be doing this elsewhere, but I've no choice. I'd jump in the program elsewhere. Maybe I'll start going when I feel a touch better. We'll see

 

Never again

[[er...]]

Awesome man. I think it's great you're opening yourself up to it. If it were absolutely out of the question, you'd know. So being that you want to, that tells me you're ready. You got this!

 

I want to for local support, but I can't bring myself to go around here where I live. I'm also on a tight budget so I can't afford to drive for meetings every day. The change in diet seems to be helping to avoid the awful flare ups. I still don't do much. Still can't read, cognition is struggling, insomnia is bad still, etc. but, could always be worse, right?

 

Yeah, I'd love to be doing this elsewhere, but I've no choice. I'd jump in the program elsewhere. Maybe I'll start going when I feel a touch better. We'll see

 

Never again

 

Hey, yes.. I'm starting to get excited (imagine that?) about going on the trip.  My brother can be a ball buster, but i'll try not to let that get me down. it could be really fun - and i need some fun in my life.. ever since i started to taper last august, it's been a big shit sandwich (most of the time).  I am soo glad I'm off of clonazepam though.. i think i'm on day 76.. i really don't think i could handle another taper like that.. june last year i was on 1.5mg K, then july, i went up to 3.5mg K, then august went down to 1.0mg K.. and that august was a rough month!!!  i thought i was getting haunted by ghosts that came in through the tv.. omg.. whacked out..

 

anyway, i digress..

 

I know what you mean about not doing much lately.. the cognition part is really terrible.  not being able to read is why i decided to stop the benzos in the first place.. i had gotten to a point where i just couldn't read (and retain anything..)  my memory has really suffered a severe blow, i feel like i lost all my education (and i'm supposed to be a history teacher!) - right now, i've just started to substitute teach again, and i'm really having to "fake it".. it's been a good distraction for me though.. and it's also helping me to re-learn how to speak.

 

about meetings - do you not want to go in your area because you might be seen?  or is it the driving?  when i was at my worst i went to aa meetings and just sat around trying to listen.. i couldn't read anything - everything was too blurry.  it's helped me - i'm lucky though cause i live 10 blocks from a big aa clubhouse, and can manage to get there.  well, it sounds like you know about them, so that's good!

 

well, keep the good work! - Eric

 

[[il...]]

I'm too anxious to leave the house most days yet. I should try to go in the future. I will.

 

Sounds like you and your bro are going to have a blast. I'm excited for you!

 

I feel like healing is taking so long, I won't know it'll have happened. Like I can't remember what I was like. I *feel* like I'm getting there but I'm a bit anxious and I wasn't this bad before. I took them because I hated my job and then they made everything in life easier. They say everyone turns into better versions of their old selves. I hope so. I don't know why I get worried that "this is it." I still have sxs. Im clearly still healing. This is one hell of a ride.

[[wo...]]

I am going to use capital letters.  GO!  LOOK AT THIS AS A THEREPOUTIC  EXERCISE. 

NLESS YOU ARE FEELNG EXTREMELY SICK OR TOO FATIGUES TO TRY, THEN OK, BUT WHEN YOU ENCOUNTER ALL OF THESE (OLD FAMILIAR) SMELL, SIGHTS, AND SOUNDS YOU WILL FEEL A TRIGGER IN YOUR MIND. 

 

bvELIEVE ME.  (off caps)  That was myt knee jerk response. 

 

Now let me tell say this.  Some integrate themselves into society slowly.  Some are thrust back into it.  You are going there to relax.  Let family know the situation.  That should be easy given easy access to internet.  PLEASE take the advice.  This will draw you closer to feeling better in the mental sense.  I was about 6 montrhs aout.  I went to a function in Tennessee almost 3 years ago. (DON"T WORRY, I AM ONLY BACK OM THE SITE BECAUSE I REINSTATED)  I was all but healed, but I had to do what I had to do.

 

Look forward to this.  Its the best medicine you will find.  OH!!  Yes, back to my Tennessee trip.  As I reintroduced myself to the world I was on cloud nine.  I had so many euphoric rushes that I thought I had overdosed on the greatest drug in the universe.  Well the drug was just getting out there.  Your senses will give you the greatest rush of all.

 

GO!  Do not try to  enjoy it, just go and the joy will find you.

[[il...]]

Your story of euphoria and having been healed sounds amazing. I know it was to Eric, but thank you!

[[wo...]]

I wont go as far as being healed, but I felt amazing jumping into a 200 feet deep backwater reservoir in the outreaches in Tennessee.  Anyhoiw, i sent you a PM