Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[Ma...]]

Hey Guys. Well, I'm at nearly 3 months off and I think am having another bad spell, but I don't know if it's a bad spell or a flu, you know how close all that is... anyone else been through that, around this time?

 

It just seems that whenever something is going on I think is odd, I come here and find out it's just parr for the course. Which helps... so, is this a sxs thing or an actual cold or is it just impossible to tell?

Actually, it sure feels like a cold making the sxs worse... that's probably it but I thought.... why not ask???

all the best to everyone, we'll get there.

m

[[ic...]]

Well, this crossed my mind the other day too. I had about 2-3 days of feeling kind of "off" and had to remind myself that even people who never took a benzo, and are completely healthy otherwise, do have days that they just don't feel good! Not everyone feels great all the time everyday, you know? So, today I'm back to normal, and maybe it was lingering w/d or maybe it wasn't. Either way, its gone and its nothing compared to what we already went through, right?! 

 

[[Ma...]]

RIGHT! It all went to my head. I'm sneezing and sniffly, not much question as to what's going on now (all my Ms are Bs). So, first I'll get over this I guess and then maybe (baybe) wonder what's happening.

m (b)

[[Re...]]

I've got to agree with TC; ain't nothing like the insomnia.  If we can lick the insomnia, the rest is almost smooth sailing. Sleep is definately a bit factor in a speedy recovery.  Well, this time last year I was rarely sleeping, and barely getting 2 straight hours of sleep. Sleep is evolving for the best each day. 

 

[[...]]

hey marina,

 

i have heard other buddies say that they get symptom flares when they get sick.  fortunately, i haven't gotten sick since being benzo free so i cannot personally attest to this; however, it would make perfect sense.  if the CNS is impaired at all, even a low grade fever, i would imagine, would cause symptoms to flare back up.

 

so, it's very possible that you do have a cold but your symptoms are flaring up, too.

 

the good news is that after you recover from the cold, you symptoms should subside soon thereafter.

[[Ma...]]

Thanks L. The cold is now undeniable. It's like I took 5 days to get good and sic. That's never happened before. Very strange. I've been getting worse instead of better, but maybe that's also because sxs aggravation means lowered immune system.  Just guessing now, throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks. Nasty physical wd sxs though. Ah well, what can you do (thank god grocery stores deliver).

m

[[ic...]]

A bit off topic, but I have to say I'm jealous of those with grocery store delivery! 

[[Ma...]]

:laugh:

[[ic...]]

Ack - I have a feeling I'll be told "par for the course" but thought I'd check anyway.

 

I've been off almost 3 months (about one week to go) and have been sleeping like a baby - barely able to keep my eyes open past 9:30! But this past week, however, has been just awful! Really bad waking throughout the night. Each time I wake up, I'm WIDE awake - it's so bizarre. And today I'm so exhausted and frustrated that I decided to write in.

 

I'm trying not to make a big deal about it, so to make it worse, but I have to admit that I'm gettting a little worried. I wasn't the best sleeper pre-benzo, its one of the reasons I was put ON a benzo, so if this is what lies ahead - omgosh - nooooo!

 

So can someone tell me what I want to hear  , that this will pass??

 

ican

[[Se...]]

I have been benzo free for 9 days after using clonazepam at 8mg for over 7 years. I cut more then was recommended, jumped sooner then recommended but was in tolernace w/d for 8 months..I had enough.

 

Since I jumped my symptoms have returned, tension, vibs etc but the biggest evil for me is Insomnia and night terrors..I had experienced this throughout my taper but before I jumped I had an 11 day window of beautiful sleep. The insomnia seems to trigger any other symptoms, I can pretty much predict the kind of day I am going to have based on the type of rest I had the night before. I get RLS, feel like I am either smothering or dropping off a cliff when I start to doze off and my personal favourite would be the loud bangs going off in my head and waking me out of my limited sleep..I was so convinced these were the sound of gunshots I woke my hubby and daughter at 4am saying "did you hear that" needless to say nobody heard a thing and I go up 1 more knotch on the psycho meter. 

 

Even after all of this I am so proud of myself, of anyone who has gone through this and never turned back...talk about Champs..wow. I would go through it all again to be where I am today. I am very early in recovery but it is recovery which means going forward.

 

I am thankful for this forum, I hope we have speedy healing and loads of sunny days

 

 

[[ku...]]

I'm 1 year, 3 months, 3 weeks and 3 days post benzos. when does PWS start?  I had a hugh set back when I tapered off inderal. I took my last dose end of march and still suffering. I was thrown back into acute WD.

[[...]]

 

I am only 16 days off benzos..but so happy to be a member of this group...

 

I struggled with insomnia....towards the end of my taper...had a two week window...then back to insomnia..now a three day window..grrr...

 

Other symptoms include.....muscle twitching (minor but annoying)....and inner viberations (minor but annoying).....and now...a new one today...a bit of gumline pain/tooth pain...altho it is like the nerves are ticked off..not like a cavity feeling...

 

All in all..not too bad off 2 weeks off..yet nowhere near 100 percent...

 

Klonopin sucks...ty

 

TC

[[Ma...]]

Hi, everyone,

 

I haven't been on for awhile as I've been suffering with major depression. It got pretty scary, so I decided to try one of the ONLY a/ds I haven't taken, Zoloft. It's been a mixed bag. Some mysterious aches and pains have gone away, but the Z is hard on the stomach (they say this goes away). I'm almost a year off of benzos (see sig.) and I tend to think that what I'm going through is really just depression/anxiety that I've had on and off for years exacerbated by my lack of regular employment, financial difficulties, and being somewhat directionless. My "confidence tanks" are on empty. I've been waking up with horrendous anxiety and feelings of gloom and doom in the early a.m., so I listen to Pema Chodron and other spiritual audiobooks. I'm trying to stay present with the feelings, rather than run or futilely try to push them away, as the buddhists and others say that will only prolong the duration of this dark period. Even though I believe this is post-benzo (but how can I be sure?), I'm still checking in on this thread as all of us BBs will have to face life after benzos, which usually means dealing with the same issues that brought us to benzos in the first place; that only makes sense.

 

Best to my BBs :smitten:

 

Matteo

[[ca...]]

I am 10 days off ativan and i have the same symptoms i had during my taper so far  insomnia,  burning skin on arms, tinnitus, and eye floaters

[[...]]

 

3 weeks off for me today....

 

My sleep has returned for the past 7 days....so hopefully this is more than a window..but with this stuff you never know....

 

I have two other symptoms right now...

 

1) inner viberations

2) muscle twitching

 

TC

[[ic...]]

TC that's great! I have read a lot of your posts and I know insomnia has been a real crapper for you. So you must be thrilled - AND refreshed from all the sleep

 

 

 

 

[[...]]

 

The return of sleep was nice...now if these other 2 symptoms would scram

 

 

 

TC

[[cl...]]

Five months and 25 days and I thought it would be better by now! I still can't sleep. I was a GREAT sleeper before this. That is what is so frustrating. I had a 4 day period last week and slept normally. I get very depressed when I am short on sleep. Depression is the other symptom. I have had periods of being "down" before but this depression is terrible. I really have not been depressed before. On the upside my attention span is better and the cog fog seems to be improving. The small windows tease me into believing there may be an end. Jan

[[Ma...]]

Anyone else get vicious sic three months out? Is this "normal" again???

m

[[ic...]]

Hey TC - be happy with what you get!! Sleep is huge! The others will go before you know it

[[ve...]]

Hey TC, I'm in your humble town.  Saw the Cards game tonight with the fam, nice victory making it something like 8 straight? Beautiful ballpark.  Had a bud last night with no reprecussions .  Also went on the Anheuser Busch brewery tour where they gave everybody two free glasses of beer at the end.  I'm not a big beer drinker but again, it was nice to have a taste and not feel badly. Just posted on your thread which I thought was locked down last time I checked.  We just came from Yellowstone Nat'l Park, the Badlands and Mt. Rushmore, Chicago, and making our way East and now southeast back to Atlanta.

 

Hang in there Marina.  Yes, I think it quite normal to still have symptoms at three months out, I know I did and many on here at 5 months too Jan.  I'm glad your attention is improving.  It really feels great to get one's brain back :yippee: .

 

Will try to catch up with some of you this weekend.  Hope your sleep and other symptoms  improve TC.

 

Best,

 

V (no more)

 

 

[[ve...]]

Made it back home after a couple week drive from California where I spent some time with my elderly father in June.  Also visited some Nat'l Parks, stayed with friends in Utah, got out in nature some.  Staying with my wife's friends from college was something I hesitated about doing, but decided to push myself and try to be social.  Even 8 months off the valium, the social anxiety and self consciousness about feeling "normal" post benzos comes up from time to time.

 

This summer, I'm trying to make amends for all the months last year I was a crappy benzo brain dad.  I'm just over 8 months off the V poison now. Anxiety still comes and goes, but around 7 months, things started to notably improve. Still have some nerve tingling from the Shingles in January, annoying but tolerable.  Just grateful I did not lose any vision.  My nerves were fried last Fall after the taper and when my father got sick.  I think it predisposed my immune system, really weakened it to where I got  Shingles six weeks after my last dose.  I can see how it could easily take up to a year to resolve nerve issues and other issues if they were really severe before and during taper.   So hang in there folks.  Most people likely won't need the full year or half a year.

 

I am optimistic that many functions can and do improve with time.   This past couple months involved a lot of driving, packing and unpacking, long drives some partly at night or in the rain, dreaded road construction!!! exploring new states,  family stress and a very difficult sibling situation has gone from bad to worse, my father's ongoing health challenges at age 88... yet I did not catch one cold which I think is surprising.  So there is hope that healing can take place if one is patient. Just a few months ago, I really had to watch the caffeine as it revved me up. Now I can have some coffee or soda although it's probably not good for me.  

 

Healing is not 100% not after the last dose and for many, not for many months.  I think the key is being grateful to be off the poison, then really working on developing new habits for managing stressful situations which are always going to come up in life. Getting out in the world is the only way to test one's progress from time to time.  As a famous philosopher once said, "Hell is other people"!.  I don't know if I agree but there is something to be said for taking steps to challenge oneself both during and after one's taper, in and out of the house.  It's often easier to stay home and not go to parties, meet friends or do new things, but there are opportunities missed sometimes.  The challenges don't stop post benzo.  If anything, navigating through one's relationships can be more of a challenge to work through.  I've cleaned house with some friends, grown closer with others and pretty much ended a difficult relationship with a sibling, at least for now.  The healing happens on many levels, not just the physiological.

 

Have a good weekend,

 

V (no more)

 

 

 

 

 

[[gi...]]

I'm 1 year, 3 months, 3 weeks and 3 days post benzos. when does PWS start?  I had a hugh set back when I tapered off inderal. I took my last dose end of march and still suffering. I was thrown back into acute WD.

 

PWS occurs when you're done actually withdrawing from the drug but the withdrawal symptoms remain. (hence the tern, post withdrawal syndrome.) So, you've had PWS for more than a year.  Protracted withdrawals are considered to be those symptoms that persist after 18 months.  That's where I'm at.

[[gi...]]

Anyone else get vicious sic three months out? Is this "normal" again???

m

 

Marina, the worst of my symptoms didn't hit until I was 3 months out.  The good news is that at 9 months there was considerable improvement, and at 18 months now I'm better than I was a year ago.

 

Hang in there!

 

ginger

[[pa...]]

Hi V!!

Great to hear from you again! Sounds like you had an awsome trip despite some difficulties! I envy your stamina... Even when I was in better health and younger our cross-country trip to Connecticut didn't seem as action packed as yours sounded with all the visits to National Parks, etc... Good for you that you were able to enjoy such a trip and so much scenery!! One of these days, my wife and I would like to drive from WA state out to Kansas to visit her brother who lives in Atchison. We did that when we were living in Fresno, but now we can drive there and go through states like Idaho, Wyoming and Nebraska. Anyway, you sound like your in good spirits and I'm glad to hear that some of the challenges that you were concerned about (such as dealing with your brother and having a family reunion at the same time) are now over with and you can relax more now.

My Remeron taper is gowing slowly but surely... I'm now down to 75% of what I used to take... It's funny, but any w/d I've experienced from this med is reminding me an awful lot of the feelings I get when I've accidentally inhaled a chemical that I'm sensitive to! Sort of an all-around dizziness feeling. Not nice, but my CNS seems to recover from it in about 5 days and then it's on to the next taper... I feel confident that I can lick this A/D by September (currently, I take a total of only 3mg every 2 days) and then NO MORE of these kinds of meds PERIOD!

Again, great to hear that you had such a nice trip and that your back home safe and sound! Hope everyone else here on this thread is having a great weekend!

Take care all,

pangelingua