Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[pa...]]

Hi Gianna!

Welcome to the thread! You are exactly 1 week ahead of me as I will celebrate 5 months benzo free on the 16th!

Sorry to hear about that your s/xs are troublesome. It looks like from your sig line that you were on multiple meds. When did you taper from the last of the A/Ds? I am currently tapering from a small amount of Remeron. It's an A/D that has a dual action in that it increases serotonin and norepinephrine levels. I was taking a sliver of a pill for some time now until about a months ago, I decided to start cutting from that. Not an easy task, since I didn't have much to cut from! So, I take the sliver and cut that in half. I've been doing an alternating dosage meaning that now, I take the full sliver for 2 days, then the 3rd day take the half. I didn't expect to feel many s/xs doing it this way since I haven't taken much of a dose and unfortunately, I am feeling s/xs more than expected... Mostly headache and dizziness... Manageable, but nagging. I didn't actually start feeling too bad until this week. I've been doing the taper for about 3 weeks now. I remember about 3 years ago, I successfully tapered off Remeron but then my father died and I got slammed with some severe life stress, so I made the decision to go back to taking the Remeron. Anyway, from now on, no more meds! I have gotten some advise from 2 members on the forum (revblue and cupcake) about some dietary changes I could make to help with s/xs. I decided to start taking Omega-3 dietary supplements plus extra calcium/magnesium. Hopefully, I can weather through this without too much trouble! I feel so close now to being med free permanently!

Perhaps, Gianna, your s/xs maybe due to w/d from more than 1 med? Anyway, I wish you the best and lots of peace and happiness in the future! I know all too well how meds like these can make life really complicated and I sure do hope that your life settles!

congradts again to our newest members of the benzo free thread (TC and Teakettle)! May you both have a steady recovery with lots of good windows!

Have a great weekend everyone!

 

 

[[ve...]]

Hey Gianna.  Pretty name. I have a friend who is pregnant with a baby girl and is thinking about the name Gia.  Welcome welcome welcome.  Hope you have another window soon.  No need to apologize if you're not feeling well.  This thread was started because we recognize that benzo freedom is not a one way instant ticket to symptom free happiness.  There's a gradual process which ebbs and flows, sometimes its two steps forward and a step back, maybe more.  We'll all get there. Wishing you healing in the coming months.

 

Pange, good to hear from you as well.  If anyone can succeed at becoming med free, it's you.  You have such perserverence and faith, you can accomplish anything.

 

Have a blessed weekend and holiday to all.

 

 

Vertigo (no more)

[[...]]

Hello..Hello....Five days benzo free in the books...and things are ok.....I have basically two symptoms....post benzo.....an occasional eyelid twitch..and at times...these little electric shock feelings in my face..very odd..yet annoying......Guitar Bob told me to expect nuerological weirdness for a while..and I am starting to see what he means.....I am not "suffering" by any stretch of the imagination....just a bit annoyed..symptoms not constant...I got electric face for a few seconds..several times a day..and the eyelid twitch...well..it twitches once or twice...then doesnt occur again for hours....but it would feel nice to feel "normal"..I am truely tired of dealing with symptoms..minor or not...

 

I know the K is still leaving my system..so who knows what the upcoming days will bring..if it stays status quo..I think I will call that a win...

 

 

TC

[[ve...]]

Hey TC.  I think I read once that it takes approximately 2-3 weeks for K to process out.  With Valium, I believe it's 4-6 weeks.   The numbers probably vary with each individual.  Yes, expect some neurological symptoms.  When one expects that this is quite normal, acceptance can help when one acknowledges that this is a gradual process of healing.  No doubt it is frustrating to still have symptoms but the good news is that you have no more tapering to do, just let the healing come as it comes

 

Hang in there buddy,

 

V (no more)

[[pa...]]

Pange, good to hear from you as well.  If anyone can succeed at becoming med free, it's you.  You have such perserverence and faith, you can accomplish anything.

Thank you so much V for the support and encouragement! I've actually been feeling a little better everyday this week since my last small cut of remeron. In fact, I'm feeling so good, I may decide to have 3/4 glass of wine this evening! Hope everything is going well for you in LA!

Hope everyone on this thread has a fun 4th of July and many happy windows!

[[op...]]

Hi All,

 

Seeing all the recent new members on this thread I figured I'd throw my name in the hat as well.  It's been about 10 weeks since I jumped and I think I've been pretty fortunate so far.  Most of my s/x are gone with the exception of some minor tinnitus (I don't notice it most of the time) and fairly mild insomnia (I sleep about 7 hours most nights with an occational 5 or 6 hr night).  All in all I'm feeling much better than when I was tapering.  I got some good advice about slowing down and getting low (thanks V) and I'm sure that's a big reason why things have gone so well so far.  I'm hoping it continues and hope you all continue to feel better also as we all put our benzo use in the rear view mirror.

 

Wishing everyone a nice 4th of July - even those of you outside of the U.S. - it may not be a holiday in your country, but it doesn't mean you can't celebrate 

 

RV

[[Te...]]

Hi Buddies

 

 

Benzo Free!  Benzo Free! Benzo Free!

 

Yipee! Yipee! Yipee! 

 

 

Teakettle

[[gi...]]

Hey all -

 

I haven't checked in here in quite some time. I've had a setback and haven't felt like contributing much. Plus I've been working so my online time is limited now.

 

It's been 18 months for me.  Still symptomatic, although not as bad as this time last year.  But still, dammit, symptomatic.

 

I took oxycodone and hydrocodone for post surgical pain in Mar/April, and that pushed me right back into hard insomnia (after successfully getting off ambien after 4 years use). It made my tinnitus worse, too.  Well after months of only sleeping 2-4 hours/night, I was desperate so I took an ambien. It didn't work at all, but POW. BAM. Absoultely SLAMMED back into klonopin w/d! I had symptoms return that I hadn't had in a year!  It's died down considerably, but several of the "oldies" remain. The worst is my headache.  I had one 24/7 from Thanksgiving 2008-August 2009, and then I took that damn ambien.  Bingo: it's back. It's been going strong, 24/7, for a month now. 

 

18 months. I can't take pain pills because they make symptoms worse or don't work at all. I can't take sleep meds (even OTC ones) because they either speed me up or don't work and throw me into w/d. Caffeine is once again bothering me, and sugar... ah hell ya'll. I cannot win. I cannot even break even!! 

 

18 months!!!!!!!!

 

ginger

[[...]]

Hi Ginger, ( and everyone)

I haven't been on here much either, which i take as a good sign (the worse i feel, the more time i spend on line) ( though i am not planning on a total escape, i think it's important for people to know what might be in store for them)...I had been doing really well for a few months...

18 months, that must really be tough. I wish i could suggest something helpful, but it sounds like you have tried everything I know of - you and i are in the same boat re: alcohol - personally the way i feel now I don't care if i ever have another beer.

 

In the last three weeks I've had 3 bouts with GI disturbance - twice nausea and once with the lower stuff. last night lying in bed between bouts to the bathroom i added up that it's 60 hours I've been put into bed because of this flare up - plus all the time after I need to recover. I can't help but get a little outraged at it all _ " you mean it isn't over after all?"  so i can imagine how frustrated you are after a year and a half. I'm on a sabbatical from my teaching gig, and this is to be a time for me to pursue my own work...I still have 6 months but I'm wondering now how things will be, down the road.

 

Isn't it amazing how one little decision to take a medication can affect us for so long?

 

[[mi...]]

Hi all,

 

I wrote a post about this but I thought I would ask you all: I'm 11 months off and have been having head and face pressure/pain for about 10 days. It can feel like a headache, but sometimes feels like burning, or like my scalp hurts, or like something is applying pressure to certain areas. This is new for me. The closest thing I have felt was a similar feeling several months ago, but only over the bridge of my nose. That went away.

 

Have any of you had new symptoms emerge this far out? Also, my anxiety has been through the roof.

 

Thanks for any insight.

 

[[en...]]

Hi,my most awful month was about the eleventh,it was as if all the freaky,terrifying symtoms attacked me all at once relentlessly and then one morning I started feeling better and even more better the next week and now I can say I'm feeling well....hang in there...your body is trying to get rid of the poison that tried to steal your life and mind.....

 

TC,I can sympathize with that electric feelings,it was so damn scary and my left eye sometimes twitched for a week at a time,now I get it about once every six weeks and it never lasts for more than a day,I try not to think oh shucks it is back,but thanks that it's only for a day,wow,what a relieve.......I can handle one day,I mean I freakin' suffered for months.....

[[Re...]]

I'm eleven months out as well.  I've been experiencing 2am awakenings for weeks and it definitely wracks havoc on my entire day.  Sleep onset is great, and naps are even great, but I wake up at 2am religiously.  It wouldn't be so bad if I just went back to sleep, but most of the time I cannot get back to sleep, and when 6am comes around, I have to get up for work.  The tinnitus acted up for about two weeks, but now it is lower in volume again, and the audible heartbeat can be an annoyance, but it has been calm these past days.  I have been having problems out of my allergy, which has been quit quiet for months.  I guess this is minor compared to the many symptoms I had months and months ago.

 

I guess I'll still have to continue to stay the course; I don't have any other choice. We fall down but we get up.

[[gi...]]

Hi all,

 

I wrote a post about this but I thought I would ask you all: I'm 11 months off and have been having head and face pressure/pain for about 10 days. It can feel like a headache, but sometimes feels like burning, or like my scalp hurts, or like something is applying pressure to certain areas. This is new for me. The closest thing I have felt was a similar feeling several months ago, but only over the bridge of my nose. That went away.

 

Have any of you had new symptoms emerge this far out? Also, my anxiety has been through the roof.

 

Thanks for any insight.

 

 

I had that for about 9 months as part of my "headache cluster" (I had about 10 different kinds). Then it went away. Now it's back, for a couple weeks now.  There's no rhyme or reason.

[[gi...]]

I'm eleven months out as well.  I've been experiencing 2am awakenings for weeks and it definitely wracks havoc on my entire day.  Sleep onset is great, and naps are even great, but I wake up at 2am religiously.  It wouldn't be so bad if I just went back to sleep, but most of the time I cannot get back to sleep, and when 6am comes around, I have to get up for work.  The tinnitus acted up for about two weeks, but now it is lower in volume again, and the audible heartbeat can be an annoyance, but it has been calm these past days.  I have been having problems out of my allergy, which has been quit quiet for months.  I guess this is minor compared to the many symptoms I had months and months ago.

 

I guess I'll still have to continue to stay the course; I don't have any other choice. We fall down but we get up.

 

What is it with 2AM??  So many of us wake up at 2AM!!! There needs to be  a study on this!  I'm up 2AM (lately I wake up at 1:15)  until 4:30, then drift until 6 when I get up for work.  I'm totally fried, I feel like I'm losing my mind.  My tinnitus gets worse when I'm tired so by day 5 of this cycle I'm beyond coping, beyond exhausted, beyond anything.

 

PWS is by far the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

 

g

[[st...]]

Ginger, I agree with your last sentence.

 

Patty  xo

[[...]]

 

One week update...

 

I know that sounds sort of silly..and I suppose Teakettle and I are the "babies" of this group as we are only 7 days post benzos..but

 

As you all know....at seven days out...there is still K in my body..and dumping out....and I probably haven't even touched on the bad stuff that could happen....so right now, I am ok with the status quo....the electric charge feeling now takes breaks..sometimes for hours...and the eyelid twitch has turned into an eyelid flutters...

 

I did struggle with sleep for about 8 weeks....and then went about 15 days with really good sleep...last night, I think I overdid it..because I was feel confident about my sleep being back...and I think I ate too late....and too much junk...due to the holiday..and I slept very poorly.....hopefully, this is just a minor glitch...

 

It is wierd being 7 days out and very "young" in terms of benzo freedom...and I do feel that long taper really helped minimize things...but I am just so damn worn out at this point..like many of you are....from dealing with symptoms..and although mine are pretty minor compared to what a lot of people have had to deal with ...it is just dealing with this crap day in and day out....that really wears on me...I know you guys can relate to this too....we have all paid our dues..just by being on this crap....then tapering...then the post healing period...we all deserve to feel a lot better than we do...

 

TC

[[...]]

Amen to that!  The fuzzy head and wonky eye syndrome.  I'm just plain tired of it.  If it weren't for that I'd be at 100% "normal".  Just waiting................

[[mi...]]

fuzzy head?  lol yeah- feels like cotton instead of a brain

wild

 

[[mi...]]

Ginger, did you get an MRI for the headaches? I am considering asking for one since I can only think of the deadliest things that would be causing them.

 

I hate being this anxious all the time! I miss my pre-benzo life.

[[gi...]]

Ginger, did you get an MRI for the headaches? I am considering asking for one since I can only think of the deadliest things that would be causing them.

 

I hate being this anxious all the time! I miss my pre-benzo life.

 

 

MRI w/contrast and without, CTI (2), CTA, EKG, EEG.  Everything squeaky clean!

[[mi...]]

Ginger, that must have been a relief. Were those tests ordered when you were still on or had you come off yet?

 

[[...]]

fuzzy head?  lol yeah- feels like cotton instead of a brain

wild

 

 

Cotton head!  I have heard cement head before..but cotton head..I like that....

 

I still say the worst all of these symptoms is the damn insomnia..and it appears that my first dalliance of 8 weeks was just round 1....with about a 15 day reprieve.....and now..round 2 of insomnia...grrrr

 

 

TC

[[gi...]]

Ginger, that must have been a relief. Were those tests ordered when you were still on or had you come off yet?

 

 

Ordered after I had what I can only describe as a stroke/seizure-like episode a month after my last dose. I kind of wish they'd found something, because it was only after all that, and numerous visits to many docs, that w/d was surmised to be the culprit. At least they could have cut something out and I'd be fine now!

[[mi...]]

I called my doc this morning to ask for the MRI. He reassured me again that he really didn't think I had anything to worry about but that he would approve the MRI if I wanted it. I'm pretty scared but hopefully it will put my mind at ease -- at least about having something seriously wrong with my head.

 

I keep reminding myself that before the first panic attack that sent me to the ER, before the first Ativan pill, I was FINE. I had no health problems. I rarely thought about my health at all, except when I got a cold or something, and even that was rare. Now it's like an obsession. It would be a HUGE coincidence if there were something seriously wrong, right? The combination of withdrawal and pure anxiety can play awful tricks on my mind. And I still sometimes have a hard time accepting that I'm having symptoms so far out. But then I read what others are going through and I guess it's the unlucky few of us who get treated to protracted withdrawal. I hope we all get better soon!

[[gi...]]

Hey midsummer,

 

Benzos affect so many symptoms that hypochondria is even listed as a w/d symptom!  I know you need to set your mind at ease, and I know it WILL be set at ease once you have the test done.  I coined a phrase a year ago, and since then I've used it for everything, even when my computer goes on the fritz:

 

Blame it on the benzos!!

 

Seriously.  Sorry you're still "here" - it sucks there are so many of us!

 

ginger