Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[pe...]]

Hi Bill,

 

During the beginning of my taper I was still taking Ambien for sleep, I could not sleep well at all. (being totally ignorant of the fact that it was closely related to benzo's)

I mainly suffered with the derealization and the anxiety coming back.

 

After about 2 months after I had finished my taper (think it was in February) the fatigue really hit me....felt like I could sleep all the time.

And exercise killed me....I have been very dedicated to exercise for many many years, but these last six months I have not been able to keep it up.

 

Everyone's experience is so different...as far as what happens and when. 

 

Just hang in there.  Even at 6 months off, I still feel pretty bad a lot of days....the derealization is about to kill me.

Fatigue is cured with sleep....derealization I have not yet found any thing that offers any relief....it is most frustrating and takes the fun out of life.

 

You are doing GREAT for how far along you are!!!!  Keep it up!!

 

Tish

[[ki...]]

Hi Group,

 

I'm 11 months off K and doing very well.  It took me 11 months to get off 1mg of K.  Slow is best.

 

I'm starting an Ambien taper--12.5 mgs CR, crossed over to 10 mgs regular Ambien and away I go.  I plan to go very slowly.

 

I'll be in touch.

 

Kitty

[[gi...]]

Hey Kitty,

 

Look for my blog (ginger's blog...) and you'll be directed to my ambien w/d experience.  I was where you are right now, exactly a year ago. 

 

ginger

[[ho...]]

Hi all

 

at almost four months out...still dealing w following lingering worst w/d symptoms..:

 

-extreme fatigue

-sleep problems! restless sleep, and not alot of it..

-inner vibrations, and tingling

-major light sensitivity..

 

oh joy! when does this fun, stop?  fun fun.. not really

 

hope.....

[[pe...]]

Hi Hope,

 

Four and five months were really tough for me....the dr, anxiety, fatigue....and all causing such frustration...I felt HORRIBLE...always asking..."when will this ever end."

That no one can answer, because everyone is different.

 

June 9 was my six months off, to the day.  It was one of the worst days of all....the dr was unbearable, the anxiety was making me feel like I was gonna have a heart attack..it was dreadful.

And I had a house full of family and a big party to throw that night.

 

On June 11 things seemed to lift, just sort of magically. I gave a 25th birthday party for my daughter that night and it was so much fun.

I started having more windows and I would rejoice at every moment that I could feel like my old self again.

 

I don't want to brag too much, but I do think Dr. Ashton has something when she talks about the 6 months mark.  So you don't have far to go!  You can to this...not fun!...but you can do it!

 

Let us know how your 6 months off goes for you!

 

Tish

 

[[Me...]]

Any one heard from Verti ??  I am still recovering from doing 3 HCG diet shots....I ended up with MAJOR panic attack...had paramedics and all to my house !! It was so weird...it just came out of NOWHERE 2 hours after I took my shot !   I am not doing that diet now....Hormones cause so much problems for me !!  Marina what happened with thr bc pill ??  I am all messed up since I did the shots ,,,like I regressed....I am going to try some sunshine..usually makes me feel better 

[[...]]

 

Verti is still around..and as far as I know doing well...he has stated that he won't be around the forum as much....but he will check in from time to time...

 

TC

[[pa...]]

It's been 17 days since I posted here so I thought it was about time I did! Things are going well for me as far as s/xs go. I'm in the midst of doing a taper from a very small amount of remeron. I've been on 2mg of this since Dec 2008 and I've decided that it's really not doing much for me. I think that the benzo use caused me clinical depression but I don't think I suffer from this naturally. So, while I was on the klonopin and later, valium, I think the remeron actually did me some good only because of the depressive effect that the benzos had on my system. My withdrawal is pretty mild, or at least manageable now.. Also, I'm working part-time. I will probably be able to keep this up for possibly a year, but no latter. So, I really feel like having this remeron out of my sytem now while I have the chance and don't have to work as much is the best move.

Also, I'd like to ask everyone to keep me in their thoughts right now... Today was the final hearing on my dad's estate. I don't know how this is going to turn out and it could get complicated, especially if other members on the trust decide to get nasty! Having this estate out of the way will be like one less monkey on my back!

Hoping that all the rest of the 'post freedom group' have a great week with lots of good windows!!

[[ho...]]

Hi percussion...

 

thanks for the message.. and gave me a bit more wisdom.. and hope that the 6 th month mark, ive heard soooooooooooo many times! 

I hope it does happen for me, like a magic wand!! that would be prob the best day of my life!!!

 

crossing my fingers...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz, nighty night hope

[[sa...]]

Oh Dear P,

 

I'm so sorry you're going through the stress of your Father's estate.  I can relate somewhat.  I lost my Mom almost 2 1/2 years ago (during a cold turkey withdrawal).  Luckily at that time I was able to function and do all of those many painful tasks that needed to be done.  I even gave her eulogy.

 

My Father who now is 90, started to experience a significant decline in his his health and memory after her lost my Mom - they were married almost 60 years!  I have an older sister who lives in North Carolina and she fought me tooth and nail when I discussed placing him in assisted living.  She was more concerned about the money (which is not much).  She was horrible and we had horrible fights.  She wanted him to go live with her and my 2 teen aged nieces and 1 teen aged nephew.  You know the chaos that 3 teens can add to a household!  Also, their house albeit spacious and beautiful had two sets of large stairs to the upstairs bedrooms.  She said she would put in a chair lift but this would take time and money.  Anyway he finally ended up in assisted living here. However, he had a bad fall last June and ended up in a nursing home.  My Father is also very ill with congestive heart failure.  I am so ill at this point I am only able to visit him on a very limited basis.  Luckily my husband visits him every week and I speak to him on the phone often.

 

I've had to deal with the estate, his bank accounts and getting all the copious amounts of paper work ready for medicaid.  Again, luckily my husband has helped me immensely.  My heart goes out to you and I hope all goes well.  Also, good for you for tapering the Remeron.  I bet you'll feel the better for it.

 

Take Wonderful Care,

 

Sara

[[pa...]]

Thank you Sara for that very caring response! So sorry to hear about the grief you've gone through... the last thing a son or daughter wants to go through is legal/personal issues with family members when a parent dies or is in ill health! My heart goes out to you and I do hope that your situation eases. I've just gotten some really good news... the lawyers sent me a message yesterday that the judge approved the accounting at the final hearing yesterday! I cried in my wife's arms after I got the news... I think now I can trun the page of a very ugly chapter in my life. The lawyers are going to send me paperwork for me to sign which will relinquish me from any further responsibilities on this trust and will prevent anyone else from attempting to sue me if they didn't like the way the estate went.

Slowly, I can feel my freedom coming back!! I now feel more than ever, that I truely have a future and I hope to be around many more years!!

Hope everyone else is having a great week!

Take care all,

pangelingua

[[le...]]

Hello Pange....I haven't been around much lately, but saw your post about the estate getting settled.  And I just had to rejoice with and for you.  I know it has been a long, hard road.  What a blessing to be able to put this behind you.  I am truly happy for you AND your wife.

 

Love,

Leena

[[mi...]]

Hi Hope,

 

Four and five months were really tough for me....the dr, anxiety, fatigue....and all causing such frustration...I felt HORRIBLE...always asking..."when will this ever end."

That no one can answer, because everyone is different.

 

June 9 was my six months off, to the day.  It was one of the worst days of all....the dr was unbearable, the anxiety was making me feel like I was gonna have a heart attack..it was dreadful.

And I had a house full of family and a big party to throw that night.

 

On June 11 things seemed to lift, just sort of magically. I gave a 25th birthday party for my daughter that night and it was so much fun.

I started having more windows and I would rejoice at every moment that I could feel like my old self again.

 

I don't want to brag too much, but I do think Dr. Ashton has something when she talks about the 6 months mark.  So you don't have far to go!  You can to this...not fun!...but you can do it!

 

Let us know how your 6 months off goes for you!

 

Tish

 

 

that is really good to hear- keep healing

[[ve...]]

Hey Pange.  I've not had much opportunity to be on BB lately but wanted to post a quick reply that its great to hear that you finally got some closure on your father's estate.  You're right, its really tough having to deal with legal and personal issues with family members who don't act like family after a sickness or death of a family member/parent.  Happy for you that things are finally settled.  Hope all else is going well with my post benzo pepes . I'm currently dealing with a host of stressful family issues myself now but fortunately the majority of benzo issues are waning.  I hear you SaraAnn.  Sorry about the loss of your mother.  I don't know how you were able to do the eulogy during c/t.   My dad just turned 88 and was hospitalized for 5 weeks last Fall right in the middle of my last weeks of a 10 month taper off  valium.  My brother fought me about bringing him home with caregivers, was more concerned about money like your sister, how far he would have to commute to my dad's house, said caregivers at home would never work (yada yada yada)...  He has tons of anxiety (runs in our family I guess) and he would not let up, also has teenagers, tried everything to sabotage my dad's caregivers and continues to threaten me (he's a lawyer) about various matters involving my father's care, repairs at his house which involves spending his money on his home...  The stress got to be so much for me that I ended up with Shingles end of last year about six weeks after my last dose of valium.  Glad you have a supportive spouse (as do I) and that your father was able to get the care he needed close by to you.

 

Coming up on 9 months benzo freedom for me.  Have been drinking coffee again , alcohol in moderation (occasional glass of wine or two) but still have some mild issues once in a while.   Rode a rollercoaster and Ferris wheel on Father's Day with no vertigo or issues.  Still have some mild intermittent things but making progress. Will try to post again soon.  

 

How are you and you boys doing Leena?

 

Best,

 

V (no more)

[[pa...]]

Hi V!

I saw your reply and I wanted to be the first to welcome you back! Also, Happy b-lated Father's Day to you! Hope you had a nice vacation. How's the family situation going? Congradts on becoming 9 months free! Great to hear that your symptoms are subsiding.

I signed a paper the week before that relinquished me from all responsibilities on the estate and sent it back to the lawyers. I'm just waiting for the judge to sign it and then I can send it to the bond company so that I will no longer have to pay the insurance on that. What a nightmare all that was! I'll NEVER make that decision again! Sometimes I feel after hearing about your brother, V, that I ought to show him all the hastles I went through on my dad's estate (due to NOTHING being in order including the house, bills, car, etc) and then, perhaps he would be more appreciative of the work you've done for your dad! Oh well, sounds like your brother has a lot to work on with himself and his own situation and perhaps he may learn to stop being so destructive on his own... I'm really hoping that your summer, V, will be enjoyable!

Thank you to Leena, also for your kindness! Let us know when you can how your knee situation goes.

The time continues to roll and I am now past 4 months free of benzos! I have started on the slow taper of a mininmal amount of remeron. I am now alternating between 2mg one day and 1mg the next day. It's taken me 3 weeks to get to this point and so far, the w/d has been minimal. There is a slight amount of tiredness and a slight amount of inner-vibration that I've heard other members talk about who have withdrawn from A/Ds. This rarely occurs, and when it does, it is so mild that it really doesn't bother me. It is possible that this may also be a new symptom of benzo withdrawal? Hard to say... Anyway, one good thing about the tiredness is that the times it hits, it decreases my symptoms of benzo rage that I've had since withdrawing! None of these symptoms has ever been ongoing fortunatley and most of the time I feel quite 'normal' whatever that means!

Hoping everyone on the post freedom benzo group has a nice weekend with lots of windows!!

[[...]]

 

Hey V good to see you again....glad to hear things are continuing to improve...

 

I am looking forward to joining this group in a matter of days....

 

Can't wait to see you all on the "other side"

 

TC

[[ve...]]

Hey TC.  Well, if all went according to plan, you are officially benzo free today   :yippee: .   Many congrats on your perseverence, patience and courage.   No special handshake needed to join the benzo free club but one can  still likely benefit from a balanced perspective on what benzo freedom and healing means (IMHO).   Nice to see it's official.  You've earned your freedom.  Now take back your life, step by step .  Congrats to Teakettle as well.  Thanks to you both for your support to so many on this site.

 

Hey Pange.   Thanks for the welcome and Happy Father's Day to you too (belatedly).  I'm not really "back", just visiting for a couple days .  Things are complicated right now (nothing to do with benzo issues...).   Hope you're having a good summer and spending quality benzo free time with the family.  Good luck with your present taper.  I'll be checking in to see how you're doing even if I'm not posting much...

 

Cheers,

 

V (no more)

[[...]]

hey all,

 

just wanted to let you know a week ago was 3 mos. benzo free.  got a little frustrated because last week i seemed to regress a bit.  symptoms like anxiety and depression came back along w/ what i now realized is "cog fog"....that light headed, fuzzy, dreamy, drunk kinda feeling in the head.  some intrusive scary thoughts of "what if..." kinda stuff.

 

can't tell now if it's the symptoms that are bothering me so much or being worn down by feeling this way every day.  don't get me wrong, i am worlds better than i was during the first 8 weeks off, but now i think even these "minimal" symptoms on a daily basis month after months is just getting to me.

 

makes me think of chinese water torture.  anyone could handle a few drops of water in the eye, but day after day after day.  it's really enough to make you wonder how long one can endure.

 

leslie

[[Te...]]

Hi Vertigo

 

 

Thanks for the Cheers!

 

I would like to submit my application for full membership in the "Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group"!

 

Teakettle

[[...]]

Hi Vertigo

 

 

Thanks for the Cheers!

 

I would like to submit my application for full membership in the "Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group"!

 

Teakettle

 

Takes teakettles app and photocopies it..me too me too!

 

TC

[[ve...]]

Job well done Tea and TC.  Good news.  Applications both been processed and accepted . How does it feel to be 24 hours post benzo?  

 

Best,

 

V (no more)

[[...]]

Teakettle - congratulations on making it to the other side.  Hoping this side will be a smooth ride for you and your mate TC.  Question - do you still need a foil hat now that you're benzo free?

 

Welcome to the PBFWSG.

[[cu...]]

Teakettle,

 

Welcome to the Free Club!!! How are you doing? Happy healing and may you heal quickly!

[[...]]

V,

 

Twenty four hours post benzo...feels alot like 24 hours ago..hehehe...same two symptoms..yay...as long as no more new ones show up..or at least not a lot of new ones...I think things will be ok....

 

A bit of neurological weirdness...but I remember several people saying this is quite common...

 

TC

[[Gi...]]

I just found this thread...not sure how I could've missed it...

 

anyway...benzo free and approaching 5 months (on the 9th)

 

I feel like utter crap.

 

I've had one window that lasted about 7 days and the rest has been tiny incremental change for better that simply isn't enough to feel happy about most of the time, though I can see it's slowly changing...too often I'm still stuck in bed in pain, nausea etc...

 

anyway...sorry if that's not very cheery but it's where I'm at...