Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[st...]]

Hi Tree,

 

I, too, easily bruised but I have no reason why this happened.  Also, cuts and scratches take a long time to heal and they heal oddly....going to a dark purple.  I have had multiple rashes and skin peeling, too.  This continues for me at the 21 month mark off date.  Too, too weird.

 

Patty  xo

[[pe...]]

Hi Tree,

 

Yes, you have found a great blog!

 

I am just about the same time off as you.  Not as much usage as you, but who knows if that matters.

 

The Ashton Manual on Benzo withdrawal says that the dr/dp is more pronounced in Klonopin withdrawal.

I am suffering from a lot of that too.  It is very frustrating and very miserable.  I know how you feel there.

 

There is a great blog about dr/dp that was started by Cupcake just a few days ago.  You ought to check it out:  "For Those of You Suffering With DP/DR"

Lots of great info and looks like lots more to come.

 

Good luck!

 

Tish

[[...]]

Tree - I too had spontaneous bruising early in my taper.  It was truly weird.  The bruises were big enough to have been caused by knocking myself into something, yet I never had.  When I looked up withdrawal symptoms on a UK benzo site - spontaneous bruising was on the list.

 

My psych dr simply did not believe me.  He said in my anxious state I must have knocked into something!!!!!!

[[cu...]]

OMG The other night I counted like 13 bruises on my legs! I was wondering if it could be related to withdrawing or not..

[[cu...]]

My husband was beginning to wonder if I'd been seeing a violent boyfriend.

[[ho...]]

hi all

 

i had the worst night ive had in months since my taper, which ended feb 19th, 3 months ago...the inner vibrations, shakes, buzzn, pins and needles are soo bad.. its literally scaring the heck out of me!! i was bawling to my hubby this morning.. so scared, i dont know why is this worse??should be getn better right? im not on the meds anymore, ... im so lost and confused, weak , and tired.. plus, w n sleep is aweful!! not a minute.. and home by myself.. plus, yesterday.. found out im pretty much anemic, super low iron. .could this be why? cuz my iron soo low? im terrified.. sorry.. anyone??  :'(

[[cu...]]

Do you think these feelings your having could be from your recent stopping of the Paxil? I don't have any experience with AD withdrawal I always quit cold turkey with no issues but I heard Paxil can be pretty nasty. Just hang in there honey your symptoms are a sign that your brain is coming back to life! It hurts, I know, and I feel very badly for you and I am praying for you.

[[...]]

hi hope,

 

 

i think you're probably experiencing a combination of benzo w/d as well as paxil w/d. 

 

i'm sorry you're not feeling well.

[[gi...]]

Hi Hope,

 

I'd assume your paxil taper is coming into play here, but, like windows, "waves" happen too.  It's not uncommon at all to suddenly be hit like this. You'll even out again, don't worry!  My 3rd-5th months were my worst, and then I made significant improvement at month 6.  There's just no rhyme or reason to it.

 

Hang tough -

 

ginger

[[ho...]]

Hi ginger, cupcake, and L123

 

yes.. ever since jumped off paxil, bout 8 days.. its been hitting me pretty hard, especially the last week or two, its 6 weeks this sat since jumped off paxil... and i cant believe what is happeing w me.. i was doing pretty good.. i waited 5 weeks to be benzo free, then tapered the last 5mg of my paxil in 3 weeks, titrated, jumped april 10th.. and boy this is sooo horribly not fun! constant motor running.. how to sleep like this? ive been up since yesterday 8 am!!!!!! zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

thanks ladies for replying.. .. yes ginger, and cupcake.. think its the combo deal happening now.. and i dont like this combo!!!

[[sa...]]

As you can see I've been benzo free for over 4 months and the hits keep on commin'. I really am at my wits end.  I also feel tired and weak and all of my sx seem to be accelerating every day.  I can't believe I can stand all of it for one more minute, never mind one more day.  I am also anemic and vitamin D deficient but I've tried to take the supplements the doctor prescribed and they send me through the roof.  Talk about iron ripping up your stomach!  I know Ginger that you said your sx were at their worst at between 4 and 5 months and I can only hope I'll get some relief around 6 months.

 

I know it's supposed to be a good thing to be benzo free but as I say, the further away I am from my last benzo the worse and worse I feel.  This will turn around someday but it's so hard to have faith in a concept that is so abstract right now.  I guess we hold on because of the success stories.  I told my sister yesterday that I almost wish I had a brain tumor (hate to be morbid) because they could cut it out and it would be "over".  How do all of the millions and millions of benzo receptor repair, unseen, unknown? I want to know and there are no answers.

 

Sara

[[pe...]]

Sara..l please hang in there.  My fourth/fifth month was terriblel!!!!!!!!  exhaustion, dr, cog fog...even did a post called "5 months off and feel like I'm going backwards"

 

But today seems to be a turnaround for me....finally am able to enjoy things today..2 days ago I spent much of the day in bed because I could do nothing.

 

This whole thing is such a crazy process..........but we must hang on and know that better days are ahead.

We are here to give each other hope~!!!!

 

 

Tish

[[sa...]]

Thanks Tish,  I really need the encouragement today.  I'm so angry I could "spit".  Glad to hear that you're feeling better, sorry to hear that you had to go back to bed for 2 days.  It's the nature of the beast I guess.  I'll try to get over and read your blog as I'm not familiar with your story.  Again, thanks.

 

Sara 

[[...]]

Hope - three months off this poison is nothing unfortunately.  You've truly got to be patient.  I'm over seven months off and am only now starting to have "normal" windows.  I even woke up one morning feeling relatively normal - that really scared me!!!

 

Patience, that's what we need more of.  I too say to my husband over and over again that I'm not taking this drug anymore, why am I still having side effects.  His stock standard answer is "the benzos are still in your body somewhere".

 

You've had a double whammy with benzos and now Paxil, so you can't expect to get better overnight.  Neither of those drugs allow that.

[[cu...]]

 

Wow Tish, so glad to hear you are doing better! You have really been in my prayers! It makes me feel good to hear others are having good days after so much hell!! How about today?

 

Sara..l please hang in there.  My fourth/fifth month was terriblel!!!!!!!!  exhaustion, dr, cog fog...even did a post called "5 months off and feel like I'm going backwards"

 

But today seems to be a turnaround for me....finally am able to enjoy things today..2 days ago I spent much of the day in bed because I could do nothing.

 

This whole thing is such a crazy process..........but we must hang on and know that better days are ahead.

We are here to give each other hope~!!!!

 

 

Tish

[[ho...]]

Hey LB

 

hmm okay... ya everyone says give it til at least 6 months off both meds.. so, i got a ways to go... guess my expectations of my recovery, were way off apparently.. and now throw in having low low iron..more healing to do, .... ugh hmmmmmmmmmm.. so, guess in the fall, hopefully when my boys back in school, in sept, will feel somewhat normal..

 

hope

[[...]]

Six months CAN be a turning point.  I'm sure it will be for you, it was for me, but I'm still not perfect.  Still at least I'm living a life now.  Just don't set that timeline in stone, its a crazy, crazy process.   Still one thing is certain, complete healing will take place.  Keep it up, we'll get there.

[[pe...]]

Hey Cupcake,

 

Today was the best day I've had in soooooo long!!!!  Still some dr and cog fog, but it was so much less today!!!!!!! 

 

Rejoice!!  But don't want to brag too much...may put the jinx on it.

 

I do think that the 6 months is a real thing as far as the turning point.  Just didn't want to believe that it could take that long!! 

 

I'm just praying that this is the home stretch for me.

 

 

Take care all you benzobuddies!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Tish

[[pa...]]

Hi tish!

Great to hear that your feeling better. Rejoice and celebrate these triumphs!!

Also, remember these moments IF any bad spells appear again. It will remind you that things are getting better!!

Wishing you continues success, happiness and many blessings!!

[[ve...]]

Way to go Tish.  Enjoy the windows while they last, hopefully longer with each one!  I on the other hand tried a full caffeinated cup of coffee this morning and still not a good idea for me.  Revved up, a bit over the top with anxiety.  Guess its back to decaf for this post benzo boy.

 

Happy weekend everyone,

 

V (and caffeine no more )

[[ho...]]

Hey lb and others

 

well i cant wait for my turning point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i will run, in the rain, storm, whatever, i think screaming down the road, kissing the ground maybe, thanking god, when i reach that day.... honest!

 

but yes, who knows.. we cant really put a time frame on this, man that would be nice though!!

[[pe...]]

Hey Pange and V....

 

Thanks soooo much!!!!  It is like the world is coming back into focus FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Even went and met with our financial advisor today...something that usually causes a great deal of dr and cog fog and had some totally clear moments there!

Then went to TJ Maxx and I could enjoy shopping for a little bit....that hasn't happened in quite a while!

 

So.....I does happen!!!  Praise the Lord!!!

 

And hang in there Hope....your day will come.  Thought mine never would, too....and there are still some bad ones ahead, I'm sure.

But at least I know that my mind has the capability of being clear......so now just to get it full time!!  But, hey, I take this as a GIANT step forward!!

 

Thanks for the encouragement!!

Tish

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hope,

 

i hear ya!  if i ever recover from this, i will run down the streets praising God!!

 

just a quick update:  it will be 2 months benzo free for me in a few days.  i am making slow progress.  i think my biggest fear right now is that the sxs will return as bad as they were.  for example, it has been two weeks now that i've been able to sleep every night without any meds.  i fear every day that i won't be able to fall asleep on my own and will have to take benadryl again to make me sleep.  maybe this is just the psychological "pill dependency"...thinking i must have a pill to sleep, i don't know.  i hope this is an irrational fear.

 

does anyone else know if the extreme insomnia ever returns after weeks of regular sleep?  and i mean extreme insomnia like not being able to fall asleep AT ALL the whole night.

 

it's nice to see people are recovering.  for that i am so grateful.  God bless you all.

[[pa...]]

Congradulations on being 2 months free, Leslie!!

It's hard to predict how things like sleep will go after the taper but I will tell you how it was from my own experience. The worst time that I had sleeping was when I was in the midst of inter dose withdrawal while taking the klonopin. I was also taking ambien twice a week and melatonin once a night. I also took/take small amount of remeron and when I tried to quite this while remaining on the klonopin, there were several nights where I either didn't sleep or slept little at all. Finally, when I discovered Ashton's plan and started tapering, I had little or no problems with insomnia. After my taper ended, I continued to take .75mg melatonin most nights for 2 reasons:

1. It worked for me and virtually gauranteed that I'd get to sleep within 5 minutes of hitting the pillow

2. I think that I had a sense of fear about not being able to sleep after my taper similar to what you describe.

I will tell you from my own experience that I have never had such awfull bouts of insomnia since stopping the valium over 3 months ago like I did during the time I was taking klonopin. Even on the days when my symptoms get revved, I still sleep relatively well. There are nights when I may wake 3 or 4 times, but I also have young children and this would be normal for anyone who's a parent of young children! I honestly feel like my insomnia was triggered by a chemical depression that the klonopin/ambien was causing me.

Anyway, I hope this helps you...

Also, Leslie, Vertigo, Tish, and Hope, your last posts sound so positive that I just had to tell you!!! Hope everyone has a great weekend!!

[[Ma...]]

Hi guys. Well, I'm one month and about a week out now but the edema is just awful. I had a craving and gave into some chips last night and my already swollen and arthritic looking finger that had been getting better is just awful again. And my weight is up even further. From just a few chips??? This is starting to worry me, maybe my kidneys aren't functioning properly?? Oh no I'm doing it, the part where we turn sxs into a disease, but still, any ideas on how long this will take to pass? Thanks all and much healing.

m